10.30-10.45pm bedtime for DD11.

I have a similar aged child with autism and they are often still awake at 12. We have tried everything and nothing helps. Refused meds.

My 11 yo goes up at 8. Shower and bed (no reading). She’s asleep by 9. This is every night, we don’t differentiate weekends as she enjoys the routine. I acknowledge we are an early to bed household as my 9 yo goes up at 7 and asleep by 8.

That said 10.30 is too late imo. I’m up and in bed by then

ETA older child is NT younger child is ND.

The average bedtime for 11 years old must be around 9-10 pm. As they have to wake up early for school, their sleep should be fully complete. A fresh mind keeps a child active, healthy and their thinking clear. Book reading could help or mind relaxing poems, therapuetic music can help. Try to record that screens are off 1-2 hours prior to bedtime.

It may not be ideal but it sounds like she is getting a solid 8 hours sleep on school nights and more at weekends/holidays? In which case I wouldn’t worry too much unless she is showing signs of being over tired the next day.

DS12. Bed at 8:30, asleep by 9, wake him up at 7:30.

The thing is, there is no real ‘normal’ for an autistic child. My NT 11 year old is asleep by 9pm at the latest, usually closer to 8.30pm as she has to be up at 6.30am and that’s how much sleep she needs. My autistic 7 year old is never asleep before 10pm, and that’s with melatonin. We’ve tried everything. It’s frustrating because he also needs someone with him, which means DH and I don’t get any form of evening together.

Much younger but my 6yo doesn't go to sleep until 10/10.30, up at 7 (and still up in the night). No diagnosis but on the ASD pathway but I wouldn't be surprised if ADHD as well / instead. Takes him a very long time to wind down and switch off once in bed and always has. But, he's not tired in the day, I've regularly checked that with school and they see no tiredness signs, he's also good at telling me when he is tired, whilst he can't sleep he does recognise the feeling so we know he isn't suffering. I suppose what I'm saying is that if it's not causing issues, then is it worth trying to change it?

IMO that’s too late for my 15yos on school nights. I’d be saying she can read but needs to be quiet and in bed, lights out before 10pm.

DD11 goes to bed about 10pm and sometimes later.

DS7 goes up to bed by 8pm but can take until 10pm to actually get to sleep.

Both autistic.

15 year old! Bloody hell I'd have pissed myself laughing if my mum tried to give me a bedtime at 15!

People (including children) are different and need different amounts of sleep. It's extremely frustrating when someone tries to prescribe a certain number of hours to someone who doesn't need it. It also makes sleep even more elusive.

Lights out at 21:00 when I was aged 11 and 12.

My dd is more of a night owl. School night bedtime ought to be 9.30 to go up but it’s often closer to 10. She is still up now but it’s the holidays. As a younger child she was a nightmare to get to sleep. Now I look back and think why didn’t we just let her have a later bedtime?
Both me and her dad are more night people, plus my mum and aunties all are so it’s in the family.

She gets up about 7am for school, so usually she’s had at least 8hrs. Forgot to say she is 12.

At that age my DDs were off to bed at 8 on a school night, 9 on Friday and Saturday and school holidays. Lights out at 9 / 10pm
They had to be ready for school by 7.30!

I think a lot of autistic children don't sleep well. My DS is 6, he very rarely falls asleep before 10:30 and is usually awake by 6. He often wakes in the night too. He is always full of energy though.
We do have an appointment with the paediatric doctor in December but as he's so full of energy they probably won't prescribe anything.

Lights out by 9.pm at aged 11/12.

Up to bed at 8.45, asleep by 9 week days and 9.30 weekends here. Often earlier though. Wakes up at 6ish, has only recently started sleeping longer.

DS has ADHD and has been like this from a young age. His mind races just before bed and he's awake later than he should be, but he's doing well at school, gets up each morning when he needs to and is happy.

As long as your DD isn't exhausted or falling asleep at school, then she's probably absolutely fine. Every child is different and there is no one size fits all approach.

Autistic DD here. Age 11-12. Upstairs at 8.30pm - 9pm. Lights out 9.30pm. She will lie in bed and listen to the radio (Classic FM) or a podcast for an hour in the dark. She's often awake when I go to bed at 10pm.
Figured as long as she's resting and relaxing and no screens (podcast put on via Spotify but no phone in rooms obvs) that's fine.
She's up at 7am but will lie in until 9/10am on a weekend. Awake but reading / podcasting. She might come down, make a cup of tea on a Sunday morning and go back to bed.

An 11 yo usually needs more than 8 hours sleep I think?

Mine is bed by 7.3 on 2 school night and reading asleep for 8. The other 3 school nights it’s bed 8 and asleep 8.3 latest. Can’t do earlier due to sporting commitments. But she is up 7 am and out within 30’mins and not home to 6 pm or 7pm due to sport straight from school. She needs to get sleep as lots of sport. Weekend homework and 8.3-9
bur still routine. It’s all go go go to make all this work. All kids different and depending on them and their schedules, needs etc.

9 year old is roughly the same. 13 year old 9.3 alseep.

If she does have ADHD it plays a huge factor in sleep and circadian rhythm. I would look into this more for her and your benefit. Keeping a consistent sleep schedule is really important, I can testify sleeping in absolutely buggers me up.b

As a child I was a night owl. I remember not being able to sleep from very early on - 3 years old even though at the time I was at nursery full time. I would look out of the window and people would tell my mum I was looking out of the window at all hours. As I got older I read and rearranged my teddies talking to them etc then when I was 10 I found radio Luxembourg on a tiny transistor radio. I listened for hours. When I was 15 I worked in a restaurant for a couple of years so didn't finish work till 1am then out to nightclubs. I was just not wired to sleep.
Now I'm an early riser have been since my 20s! always up around 4am even if I go to bed late.

my point is I don't remember tiredness being a problem when I was young. I used to do a lot of sport.
my kids were pretty good at going to bed all asleep by 9pm till 17! one had a paper round and the other worked on a farm. but one grandson who is 4 regularly finally goes to sleep at 10ish never earlier.

No matter what I did going to sleep was just boring no advice really I'm just saying perspective of a night owl.💐

I would have been well annoyed at being given tablets to make me sleep I just didn't want to it wasn't a problem for me.

My dds are 11 and 13, they're up for school at 7am so have a 9.30pm bedtime when it's school then 11 at weekends.

They both complain that they're the only ones with an early bedtime and that their friends are allowed to stay up later.

Some do, some don’t. Sleep needs vary massively between individuals.