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Children being allowed to go to the toilet at school

482 replies

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 19:33

What is your opinion on children being allowed to go to the toilet during lesson time at school?

Dd is 11 and recently stated year 7.

The toilets are locked during lesson time. The teachers do not let them leave class to go. If they do have to go in an emergency they get a negative log, even if they have a toilet pass it’s still logged.

Dd has always had a sensitive digestive system and will often need to poo multiple times a day, sometimes she’s have to hold it in and then end up constipated. She also gets desperate for a wee especially around her totm.

She said the queues are often too long to go at break so she’s having to hold it in all lesson, she’s getting stressed and upset.

I spoke to the school about a toilet pass but they have said you must provide medical evidence.

She doesn’t have a diagnosed medical condition though, she just needs to go a lot.

I have severe IBS and an overactive bladder but I wasn’t diagnose until I was in my thirties.

Aibu to take her to the doctors? The trouble is I don’t know if there is anything medically wrong and I don’t want her out on tablets, also she feels embarrasses to say she gets a dodgy stomach she’s self conscious like most kids would be.

But it feels like pushing for a medical diagnosis is the only way to get her the support she needs.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 23/10/2026 22:24

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:21

I keep such documents in a locked cupboard, in my room. I am the only person who has access to them. I give the toilet pass and say ‘ medical letter in Welfare office’ on the database.
We may need medical evidence for exams access, so it also serves for this.

indeed but surely you only get what is relevant, eg a letter from the doctor or clinic detailing diagnosis and what adjustment is needed? You don't get a complete medical record?

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:26

Swmk · 23/10/2026 22:19

I can’t believe the unsympathetic, hard responses on here. No wonder kids are damaging themselves by not drinking all day when using the toilet is such an issue. What happens if a girl has a heavy period? Is she allowed to use the loo? Everyone gets caught short now or then or gets a bug. Are they supposed to shit themselves?

You have missed the point.
These pupils are very genuine and would not be the pupils leaving lessons every day.
Just to also reassure you, pupils can go to the bathrooms when they arrive at school, then at 9.10, then 10.10, then break at 11.15, then 12.35, then lunch at 1.40. Then 2.20 and 3.20.
Girls have access to free period pants, free tights, pads and tampons at ANY time….

Bitsostuff · 23/10/2026 22:27

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 22:19

I’ve already said am going to take her to the GP.

I suppose because I have lived with horrendous IBS since I was a teenager myself, I don’t consider dd to be that bad, she needs access to the toilet but I don’t consider that to be a serious medical condition.

I’m very clued up about IBS triggering foods and both myself and dd already watch what we eat.

There isn’t a test you can do it’s all trial and error.

I'm glad you're taking her. I have IBD and for years let it get worse because each time it worse that became "normal" for me. I also missed the precursors of IBD in my son because they didn't seem that unusual based on my own experience. Don't be me.

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:31

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 20:54

The reason is that you need to go to the toilet.

Weeing and pooing are normal bodily functions and for many of us they don’t work to a school timetable.

Particularly when there is no option to go at morning break which makes it even worse and there is no afternoon break at all.

I wonder if the teacher has to wait until break if suddenly feels an urge, I suspect not.

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:31

godmum56 · 23/10/2026 22:24

indeed but surely you only get what is relevant, eg a letter from the doctor or clinic detailing diagnosis and what adjustment is needed? You don't get a complete medical record?

I only need the relevant diagnosis letter.
We have amazing hospital teams who outline needs of those with serious medical conditions.
They have extensive Medical Care Plans.
Medical cards are given to such pupils, who can leave the classroom at any time. And we have 60 pupils with medical cards. Before Covid we only had a few….

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:33

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:31

I wonder if the teacher has to wait until break if suddenly feels an urge, I suspect not.

Yes, because they have to get cover.
I am lucky if I get a single minute to go to the bathroom, other than my 30 minute lunch break

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:36

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:26

You have missed the point.
These pupils are very genuine and would not be the pupils leaving lessons every day.
Just to also reassure you, pupils can go to the bathrooms when they arrive at school, then at 9.10, then 10.10, then break at 11.15, then 12.35, then lunch at 1.40. Then 2.20 and 3.20.
Girls have access to free period pants, free tights, pads and tampons at ANY time….

Girls shouldn't need to triple layer so that they can make it through a lesson uncomfortable, and at risk of infections. They need tochange when they need to, and that isn't for a teacher to decide. All of these people saying they can go at breaktime, if you have ever visited an average secondary school, or have a child there, they have queues out the door, and break is then over. Also just to add break is the prime time when the toilets aren't monitored, staff are spread thin, kids vaping in there.
It makes more sense to let the kids go when they need to go. You would soon spot the ones trying it on. Toilet passes are embarrassing at that age, especially for girls on their periods and why should everyone know. It is archaic.

fuckeditupbadly · 23/10/2026 22:36

XelaM · 23/10/2026 21:27

It sounds like your school could save some money by cutting waste like your salary given that you clearly dislike kids.

No, there is not enough time to go in breaks for all the kids in the school because breaks are short and lines are long. Kids are human you know and should be treated as such.

Wow. Ok. Well, in my 30 years at the chalkface I'm pretty famous for bring a 'nice' teacher that gives far more leeway for minor infractions than many. Think ten second blindness while gum goes in the bin instead of an after school detention. Think not sanctioning a kid with ADHD because they dont have a pen / folder / homework sheet. You could not be more wrong but its much easier to assume I hate kids then accept the reality that SOME kids are anti-social, feral vandals and schools trying to manage 1000+ of them means that strict guidelines are sadly necessary.

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 22:38

cityliving99 · 23/10/2026 22:33

Yes, because they have to get cover.
I am lucky if I get a single minute to go to the bathroom, other than my 30 minute lunch break

But in fairness, you will have access to a clean safe toilet when you do get a break.

As an adult there is also less embarrassment and stigma about disclosing a toilet need. I have no problem saying I have IBS now, I’d have been mortified at 11.

You can advocate for yourself and you also have a choice somewhat at least in what job you go into. I couldn’t do a job where I couldn’t access the toilet and although that’s a bit limiting, I do have a choice.

Children have no choice but to go to school and very little choice in what school they go to.

Children shouldn’t feel worried about going to school or not be able to learn because of toilet difficulties.

I get that it’s difficult and a nightmare but as usual in life others suffer because of the bad ones.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 23/10/2026 22:41

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 19:40

The school have said that in order to get a toilet pass you have to have a printout of the child’s medical notes.

I feel that it’s an invasion of privacy, I’d have been mortified to have to discuss that sort of thing with my teachers.

She could have intolerances but I doubt it, I’ve had all the tests and it’s IBS but it’s horrendous to live with.

It will just be a formality OP. The GP doesn't need to put lots of detail, just ask that she be given consent. It's a box tick by the school.

I have to say that, your DD's issues aside, I have been in classes where children are constantly in and out for the loo and it is unbelievably distracting. I think the problem is they have those water bottles they slurp on all day long. When I was young, we drank at breakfast - proper drink, not a couple of sips - went to the loo before assembly, went at break, drank at break, went at lunch, drank at lunch etc. We all managed fine with those class times being sacrosanct. The rule was you didn't go, but if someone asked, they were almost always allowed, as the teacher knew they must have been unwell or desperate; the expectation, however, was that break was the time for that.

I don't see the need for those water bottles being carted about all day.

MrsHamlet · 23/10/2026 22:41

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:31

I wonder if the teacher has to wait until break if suddenly feels an urge, I suspect not.

Yes I do have to wait. I can't leave my class.

NotAnotherScarf · 23/10/2026 22:42

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fuckeditupbadly · 23/10/2026 22:42

Yep, I have to hold it and wait for a minimum for 50 mins.

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:43

MrsHamlet · 23/10/2026 22:41

Yes I do have to wait. I can't leave my class.

So if you had diarrhea/stomach upset out of the blue, you would wait?

JLou08 · 23/10/2026 22:44

It's a ridiculous rule and it probably leads to a fair bit of GP time being wasted. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to take your DD to the GP, I just think schools are a joke for expecting medical evidence for someone to use the toilet, especially a teenage girl who is menstruating. If this rule was around when I was at school I wouldn't have been in for a week every month. I have very heavy periods and the thought of leaking is mortifying even now, never mind when I was in high school.

NiaAndFar · 23/10/2026 22:45

MrsHamlet · 23/10/2026 22:41

Yes I do have to wait. I can't leave my class.

This. Some days i literally have 10 minutes break a day between 8 and 4 to eat lunch and go to the toilet.of course we cant just leave a class.

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:45

JLou08 · 23/10/2026 22:44

It's a ridiculous rule and it probably leads to a fair bit of GP time being wasted. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to take your DD to the GP, I just think schools are a joke for expecting medical evidence for someone to use the toilet, especially a teenage girl who is menstruating. If this rule was around when I was at school I wouldn't have been in for a week every month. I have very heavy periods and the thought of leaking is mortifying even now, never mind when I was in high school.

And then the whole class knowing she is on her period, why should they know and teasing from the boys. It is an absolute joke, and needs overhauled.

jmh740 · 23/10/2026 22:50

Whatanerve · 23/10/2026 20:46

I’m not saying that what you’re saying isn’t true, but I don’t recall this ever being an issue when I was at school.

We could go to the toilet at the teachers discretion, they only ever said no if it was a kid who was always trying it on.

What is going on that this is such an issue these days?

Last week in school last lesson of the day so just after lunch is 1000 pupils. 56 children visited the toilets.
Toilets are vandalised all the time, we have different toilets for different year groups, the amount of times I had to lock the year 11 boys toilet was ridiculous, pulling the loo roll holder flushing the full roll happens everyday, pulling the doors off hinges, peeing up the side of the toilet cubicle, i think most people would be surprised.
I'm 52 and remember not being allowed to go during lessons. When I worked in retail (major supermarkets i had to ask permission to use the loo.)

morden123 · 23/10/2026 22:51

i'm finding this horrendous reading, kids smashing up toilets, leaving faeces on toilet seats, causing thousands of pounds of damage.

Why is there not more teachers at break time to supervise the toilets so there is not big queues for the kids, is there not enough toilets or are the extras locked to save supervision of them!! I know when I was at school it was always scary going during break time for fear of who was in them but at least if desperate we could go during class time if needed. I would fight this OP I think its scandalous and says everything you need to know about the school.

fuckeditupbadly · 23/10/2026 22:52

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:43

So if you had diarrhea/stomach upset out of the blue, you would wait?

I wouldn't be in school. It doesn't come with literally no warning. Im 50. In 50 years I've never gone from 'feeling fine' to 'I cant wait x minutes'. If i had a medical condition where that was an issue then yes, I've would have had to look at a different job.

jmh740 · 23/10/2026 22:53

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:43

So if you had diarrhea/stomach upset out of the blue, you would wait?

I would take a load of imodium not eat or drink and hope for the best. You are not allowed to leave the class for any reason if you are the only adult there.
Gp wanted to put me on some diabetic medication that makes you wee a lot, I tried it in the 6week holidays and had to come off it as it just wouldn't have worked with being in a class room.

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:54

fuckeditupbadly · 23/10/2026 22:52

I wouldn't be in school. It doesn't come with literally no warning. Im 50. In 50 years I've never gone from 'feeling fine' to 'I cant wait x minutes'. If i had a medical condition where that was an issue then yes, I've would have had to look at a different job.

In dc's school on rare occasions teachers do nip out, and a teaching assistant steps in for 5. Maybe they just caught them at the time by chance.

SometimesthingsMatter · 23/10/2026 22:57

jmh740 · 23/10/2026 22:53

I would take a load of imodium not eat or drink and hope for the best. You are not allowed to leave the class for any reason if you are the only adult there.
Gp wanted to put me on some diabetic medication that makes you wee a lot, I tried it in the 6week holidays and had to come off it as it just wouldn't have worked with being in a class room.

Edited

A child cannot do that and has to go to school, and cannot change it like you can with a job.

Mrtumblestit · 23/10/2026 22:58

We are the sort of parents who don’t take our children out of school unless ill or hospital appointments, they’ve not once been late to school and I support teachers fully when it’s been necessary. However this bullshit about not allowing children the right to use the facilities for a bodily function when needed is obscene. My dd who’s 8 has told me her teacher stops children using the toilet during lessons. She’s a stickler for rules, but I’ve told her if she needs the toilet urgently, she’s to leave the classroom with or without permission and I will deal with the consequences for her. I’m not having my child humiliated with an accident because she wasn’t allowed to use the toilet.

ColdLittleHeart · 23/10/2026 23:01

An absolutely horrendous policy! I understand kids mess about by leaving lessons to go to the toilet but there’s a way of tackling that behaviour without punishing every child.
I’d be surprised if other parents/students didn’t feel the same. You shouldn’t need a doctor’s letter to explain that not every child has the same toilet habits. Don’t back down on this, escalate it to the head and then to the governors.