Children being allowed to go to the toilet at school

Why doesn’t she go at home time?

One of the changes since previous generations is much more attention paid to absence. That has resulted in more "internal absence" where kids are hanging about in corridors and loos because they're not hanging about behind the bike sheds or at the shops.

The toilet thing is a consequence of other issues rather than a thing in itself in my experience.

But DD is choosing not to go at break and lunch.

It's quite common for parents not to be aware what accommodations were made at primary and therefore for no-one to tell the secondary sadly. Primary schools could do more to support transition in some cases. Adjustments need evidence of some kind.

My daughter was having very frequent toilet trips in primary but the school were concerned and told me. It actually turned out to be a side effect of ADHD but as they told me promptly I was able to have her checked for UTI.

You're saying that all the toilets are locked at break every day? That sounds unusual.

Because that is 7 hours after she got there… I can’t hold it for five hours or so if I really need it. Or I can but I’d be in pain.

Why can't she wait and queue at break?

Genuine question.

You said she's not going at lunch either.

High school can be overwhelming and scary for new year 7s especially in busy areas like toilets and stairs.

If the school know there is a problem with their own management of the situation and that all kids can't get access to the loo when they are permitted to, it is clearly the school that is the issue here. They have to accept that their policy is not workable and relax it slightly so kids can go when they are permitted to. Easiest would be to accept occasional lateness to class between lessons without a detention.

That's the point at which a medical pass would be really useful wouldn't it? As most members of staff won't know a thing about her.

I laughed so much at this, because... I can see why to non-educators that makes sense, but in practice this does NOT happen. On call staff are overwhelmed by the number of calls to support with children's behaviour and safeguarding needs, they're not there to cover your lesson. Teachers are almost never free. I've never in my entire almost 20 years of teaching been able to get someone to cover my lesson so I can go the toilet.

This is entirely unreasonable. Because then you have hordes of naughty children wandering the halls with their mates and then turning up claiming they had to go to the toilet. They turn up in slow drops over the course of 5-10 minutes, which means you can't start your lesson for ten minutes.

For any secondary school being built or refurbished there should be a rule that 2 toilet cubicles should be built in every classroom (like most primary schools). Most problems would be solved straight away. Expensive yes, but worth it?

nobody does this to adults

Plenty of adults have restrictions on when they can visit the toilet, including teachers. Have you read the thread?

I would query that. I don't see why the school should have access to a child's private medical records. Your GP should be able to write a letter requesting she needs better toilet access because he is her medical professional. As someone who worked in the NHS for many years, confidentiality is sacrosanct. If this is the school policy, it is wrong and should be brought to the attention of the PTA, the Board of Governors, and your local education authority.

If she's pooing that many times a day, and struggling to last a full lesson (an hour?) Without going, then surely a trip to the Dr is needed. Apart from the note for toilet pass, there's clearly somthing that needs looking into.

On call staff? Ask a teacher in another room? To facilitate toilet visits?

Not in any school I ever taught in.

What a nerve, i hope you saw my previous response about Eric, the bowel and bladder charity , their website has a whole section on schools, toilet passes, locked toilets, it talks about working with all children to agree to non abuse of toilet, talking to schools, ensuring schools have enough toilets etc.

It also has suggestions for wording of toilet passes, how to get discreet exit without announcing to the whole class, getting a toilet charter and getting school to adopt a better practice toilet policy.

I know vandalism is part of why schools lock the toilets. I sat on public transport next to a cleaner in a secondary school whose nemesis was the boys toilets. Boys pissing up the walls, wherever they could get it that wasnt the toilet, urine behind industrial lino that stank because it couldnt be cleaned. Stuff thrown on the ceiling. Toilet roll pulled out and wasted. Toilet doors ripped off and not fixed for months. Its easy to understand why some kids wouldnt want to use the toilet even at break times, its not a safe place.
I know the school got some control over the vandalism by doing very very frequent random checks (taking cleaner from her other duties).