Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a "Girl only" kids party.

42 replies

Chellie84 · Today 12:23

My daughter has started in reception class this year. It seems a lovely school and parents all seem friendly enough.
We've already been invited to a whole class party at a local sofyplay centre. It was absolute carnage! So loud, boys screaming and banging on the food table, running up slides and just generally being boys but so so loud. I know they are only 4/5 years old but I wouldn't have put up with this from my boys ( I have 2 boys so I know how they can be).
My daughter is very sensitive when is comes to noise but she loved that she was invited to the party. She did get upset a couple of times and I found her covering her ears as the noise was just too much and she asked to leave early.
It got me thinking about when her birthday comes around and I think she would prefer a more quieter setting, a bit more chilled but still the fun factor, maybe a bouncy castle.
AIBU to just invite girls from her class (all of the girls)? I was thinking like an afternoon tea set up with some crafts and a bouncy castle, dancing and pass the parcel. I like the idea of traditional birthday parties rather then just hiring a softplay and the kids just running riot. I don't want her party to be ruined for her with the noise and boisterousness of boys.
I totally get that some children are louder than others but I know my daughter just would enjoy it if there was that level of noise and i'd be in no position to ask them to " be quiet" at a kids party!.

OP posts:
Lomonald · Today 12:26

Soft play is hellish whole class parties for little kids is madness, Start as you mean to go on invite her friends do smaller birthday celebrations it is fine,

LittleGreenDuck · Today 12:26

Her party, she, or you, can invite whoever she likes!

ThreeNewWords · Today 12:26

Could you not just ask her who she wants to invite when the time comes? Unless her birthday is very soon there will be plenty of time for her to discover if there are boys she gels with. There may well be quieter boys who share her temperament.

Snorlaxo · Today 12:26

It’s fine to invite just half of the class and girls only is an easy grouping but I think you’ll get comments about the fact that you basically said boys=boisterous and girls=calm. There are obviously calm boys and boisterous girls.

PurpleThistle7 · Today 12:27

I will say that if you want quiet, a bouncy castle and dancing is an odd choice. Girls can be just as noisy as boys really.

my daughter is autistic and struggles with noise so we did a lot of craft themed parties.

KermitsABadInfluence · Today 12:27

Yanbu to have a girls only party, but you're pretty daft if you think any combination of 4/5 year olds, a bouncy castle, dancing and cake will be quiet.

Ligesani · Today 12:29

Just have a smaller party with whoever she wants to invite regardless of sex. Large parties are always chaotic no matter what the sex of the children so if you keep it smaller it will be calmer.

However I do agree that in general boys together in a group are much more chaotic than girls together in a group.

GordanoServices · Today 12:30

My kids are mid teens now but they both tell me that they absolutely hated those whole class massive parties. It’s really not an enjoyable experience for a lot of kids. I think do whatever you think she would enjoy. However I don’t think it’s necessarily a girl/ boy thing. Many boys are gentler and some of the girls love those big parties. Can’t you just invite few best friends… boys and girls? That’s what we did. I think to invite all the girls in the class is odd.

rainbowunicorn · Today 12:30

You can certainly have a girls only party, but what about boisterous girls, will they be invited? Its not just boys who can be loud and boisterous some of the worst behaved children i have ever seen at parties have been girls. I dont think you can expect a nice quiet civilised party as a guarantee even if it is just girls.

Octavia64 · Today 12:33

Girls can also be very boisterous. Bouncy castles are not quiet

PlinketyplonkSlinketyslonk · Today 12:34

Sounds like your daughter should just invite the children she likes, boys or girls, who will likely be more on her level. Assuming that girls will be quieter than boys simply because they're girls is very naive.

Sgreenpy · Today 12:34

Just invite the friends she likes at the time. I think 10 or so is enough for a party - particularly if its a quiet one youre after.

Original poster
Chellie84 · Today 12:36

I know they can be noisy but will be nothing compared to that level of noise from the party we went to and with less kids also.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · Today 12:38

When it's her turn you ask who she wants to invite and what type of party shed like.

Not sure why you would insist on only girls. Does she not have any of the boys as friends? Boys can do crafts too.

theearthsayshello · Today 12:39

Stupid, goady post.

Obviously, you are well aware that you can invite whoever you want. For any reason.

Next.

Original poster
Chellie84 · Today 12:39

I'm basing this question purely on what I seen and heard from one party so don't come at me. I totally get that girls can be as boisterous.
The girls at the party seemed to just play.

OP posts:
theearthsayshello · Today 12:41

There's no question to answer.

You're just trying to start a bunfight with all your boy comments.

Move on.

maggisimpson · Today 12:41

Whole class
or
Boys/girls only
or
significantly less than half

Fine to invite all the girls but not ok to invite all but 1/2 girls.
Fine to invite 8 kids out of 30 but not ok to invite 25 out of 30.

Lomonald · Today 12:42

I agree with Pp there is no guarantees that girls will be quiter there might be lots of high pitched screaming on a bouncy castle

ToKittyornottoKitty · Today 12:42

Considering you’ve been to 1 whole class party and decided all boys are the problem you are obviously being unreasonable. Stupid to assume all the girls will just be quieter. Nothing wrong with a smaller party or just girls but your reasoning is just pure sexist

Walkerzoo · Today 12:47

I am in 2 minds.

My DDs had boys as a best friend at that age.

They have been to all girls parties too

Each to their own. One party shouldn't determine everything. At that age they are all carnage.

LadyLooo · Today 12:49

Chellie84 · Today 12:36

I know they can be noisy but will be nothing compared to that level of noise from the party we went to and with less kids also.

You went to one party and you've written ALL the boys off as boisterous and noisy?

You're going to have a shock when you see how boisterous and noisy some of the girls will be.

Even if not now, but as the year goes on.

ToffeePennie · Today 12:54

Just something to think about; it’s her birthday, why not invite her friends?

Smallestshadow · Today 12:58

My DS and DD have only ever had all-girl or all-boy parties then reduced in later primary years. A few reasons- cost, not wanting to host loads of kids, fewer invited means able to have different types of parties each year, partially inclusive, both DD and DS only played with their own sex anyway.

BlossomLeaves · Today 12:58

Not unreasonable, but be careful expecting a calm afternoon tea and crafts party, I went for that once, about half of them enjoyed crafting, the rest ran around ripping down decorations and screaming. It’s been soft play all the way for us since then!