Mum friend took the piss????

Just for the fish and chips? Not enough.
Ypuve been away with her before and she was like this, so why are you surprised? Why were you not more assertive?
Before even booking the accommodation you should have asked for her third. Before letting her step in the car you should’ve told her what the petrol costs would be. Then throughout the holiday not washing up after her, not paying for her.
Youre not unreasonable for thinking she should offer and thinking she should pay/help. But you need to be more assertive with people like that.

Didnt you just spend 7k on a holiday to the Maldives?

Surely you cant be that broke then

Why would you choose to go on holiday with her if you knew she was a CF?

You should have split costs before you booked anything.

Set the standards and expectations before the event dont complain afterwards if you know this behaviour is common. Being to the point such as with the price of petrol im going to need your share upfront to fill the tank please

“I can tell all the people on here saying 'it could have been avoided if you asked her to do xx'/ 'why didn't you just ask her to contribute' are the CFs in some other poor person's lament.”

Rubbish.

I commented that op should have been more insistent but in no way am I a CF myself- I will always make sure I’m doing an equal share of the work and paying an equal/fair share of the bill.

For that reason I wouldn’t let anyone else get away with not doing the same.

Next time, don't go. Job done.

People like that need telling. They sit under the fake "well you never asked" facade. When they know full well what they should be doing as they're an adult.
"Washing up needs doing (CF name)"
"It's £30 for petrol & £30 for food"
don't give them the chance to do doing nothing.

Sounds like all you actually did is ask her to pay for fish and chips on the last night.

You should’ve been commenting every day. When you got there - “could you transfer me £20 towards the petrol please Sheila”

When she’s got her feet up while you’re clearing up after dinner “remember how you said you were going to help out this time Sheila? Your turn tomorrow!”

”Sheila the food bill for the week was £75, could you let me have your £25 towards it please”.

Just keep repeating until you get your money/she helps out.

You’ve allowed it to happen by not pushing back more.

A relative of mine "broke up" with a best friend of decades after CFery like this. I don't understand how some people are wired. Treating normal people like an all inclusive. Incredible.

Yanbu but should’ve said more at the time.

Absolutely don’t go on holiday with her again.

You should have discussed money before booking!
This holiday is costing xxxx including fuel & food, split that between 3 people and we all pay xxxx each, if she refuses then she doesn’t get to go!!

I don’t understand why (having been on holiday with this lazy tight person before), you let her come again?!

OP: Mum, I’ve paid for a caravan for you and me to go on holiday in October!
Mum: oh, lovely. Shall I invite my complete arsehole friend again?
OP: No.

Talk us through why this wasn’t your conversation…!

YANBU in your expectations

But

YABU for being such a wet lettuce and not saying a thing the whole time on a holiday you had paid for!

Day one: How do you want to split the food costs Mum's Friend?

Followed at every fair share spending moment or moment of labour. "Your turn!"

Pop the kettle on!

Whose turn is it to do.x,y,z?

Etc etc
She would have soon got the picture! 🤦‍♀️

This. You should have said there are three adults caravan, accommodation whatever / fuel everything divided by 3. All food divided by 3 and all takeaways and chores divided by 3. Either she is paying and giving your mum money that she is not passing on or else she has been invited by your mum as a free holiday / you need to speak

You need to be much clearer with these sorts.
Linda, it's your turn to do the shop
Linda, it's your turn to do the washing up
Linda, you are cooking dinner tonight

No questions ie will you and no hints of "helping" or chipping in. You need to giver her ownership of it

She is clearly a CF. Never invite her again.

Hi op not really sure why your letting your mums friend tag along on your holiday. other issue if your saving up why go on holiday that your paying for when you need the money more. Also did your mum promise her friend it would be free and relaxing. I think it’s time to tell your mum no more holiday baby savings are your priority now. If she complains say I’m not working my arse off to pay and skivvy for your lazy entitled friend. Yes the friend is a cf.

Your Mum’s “friend” has basically enjoyed an all inclusive holiday at the expense of you and your Mum OP.
I think any financial contributions should have been made before the holiday was booked along with any further expenses fully agreed.
I doubt the CF will pay up now, there may be a load of excuses from her about why she can’t.
What did she say when you asked her to pay for fish and chips?
Don’t let her come with you both again. I would also advise on keeping an eye on who pays if your Mum and CF go out together for a meal or activity.

I can tell all the people on here saying 'it could have been avoided if you asked her to do xx'/ 'why didn't you just ask her to contribute' are the CFs in some other poor person's lament.

In all honesty, we all know people should not need to be asked.

Drop them. If you're braver than me, tell them why.

People like that deserve to be left behind

Don’t bring her again or your mum if they’re a package deal. Send her an invoice before the holiday. If she doesn’t pay, she can’t come. Don’t buy any food she likes.

Hi mum, I’m not coming on holiday with you and your mate again unless your mate chips in her third up front. So she pays for the caravan and you all chip in £50 for a food chitty and everything comes from that

If she was like that before, why invite her again? Even if she was short of money, she should be offering to wash up or cook etc to share the load, so yes I think she is taking the pee, don't invite her next time

But your mum is also taking advantage of you. You paid for the caravan and contributed to the food and fuel (did you do the driving too?). You also did a lot of the work. So she gets to be the ‘generous friend’ on your dime. She also knows about the IVF and how important it is for you.

She then brushes it off when you raise a perfectly reasonable request. I’d be furious with your mum as well as her friend.

Your boundaries are not other people's rules.

If you want something, you need to articulate it. Then at least the other person knows your boundaries. At which point they will either respect them or actively chose to ignore them. If they continue to ignore your boundaries then it is up to you whether you put up with it but remember - your boundaries are NOT other people's rules.

Ultimately if don't articulate your boundaries, the other person has no idea what your expectations are and your just going to end up frustrated and resentful when they behave in a way you don't like. They may also feel frustrated at being misled, especially if you get frustrated with them further down the line.

When you invite her you should have made the expectations clear (e.g. what she needs to contribute, etc). If she agreed to that and still didn't contribute you have every right to be frustrated and know not to invite her again.