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AIBU?

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Was this petty of me?

86 replies

Woofy12 · Yesterday 06:11

I'm on a stricter budget to pay off some debt, husband isn't really on a budget and earns a bit more.
We don't really eat together except if we go out, we tend to buy our own food as we often eat different things.
I take a packed lunch into work to try and save, i bought some chocolate bars to put in. Husband asked if he could have one so I said yes.
In the past I've woken up and he'll have eaten more in the night or whatever whereas I've tried to make them last the full week for work.
Was it petty of me to kindly let him know I'd like to keep them for work, but that i can buy us a larger pack to split between us?
I know it sounds ridiculous and tight, that's how I feel. He understood, it sounds stupid but when you plan for the week, wake up and half of it's gone, you have to go out and buy more.

OP posts:
DozyCrow · Yesterday 06:43

I find this whole set up really weird. He's letting you struggle while he can happily treat himself to things. If he likes chocolate then why doesn't he buy himself a pack when he's buying his own food? Stop giving him any of your budgeted stuff.

How much debt do you have left to clear? If he earns more, do you pay proportionately for bills, or does he expect you to go 50:50?

Thingcanonlygetbetter · Yesterday 06:37

Op that’s a very strange set up for a marriage. So you both go and get separate grocery shops for your food. I would be annoyed if my husband knew I was struggling and couldn’t just get the weekly shop.

MandemChickenShop · Yesterday 06:32

leave the packet at work

IronEverything · Yesterday 06:32

People on Mumsnet are so weird about food. Thank god I've never encountered anyone like it in real life.

Woofy12 · Yesterday 06:26

I'll just buy bigger ones which I offered to do. I don't mind him having the odd one at all, it's just when you try to stick to a budget and half of it's gone.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · Yesterday 06:26

You live like student housemates. This isn't how a normal marriage sounds.

I cook and DH and I eat together. He washes up/loads the dishwasher or we do it together if there is a lot of hand washing up.

TheOlderIGetTheStayerIHome · Yesterday 06:24

Yes it’s annoying when someone eats the last of something and you wanted one of but, if you know you both like the chocolate, why not just buy a bigger pack to begin with? It seems odd to buy something solely for yourself that others in the house can’t eat. Buying your own separate groceries sounds like it’s not working. I’m vegan but DH isn’t, so we also eat separate things, but it’s all bought in the weekly shop. I put things in he likes, and vice versa.
The PA offer of buying a bigger pack sounds more like a housemate conversation than one I’d have with a loving partner!

Youngbutsuccessfulmum · Yesterday 06:23

I am anti marriage and all for separate finances, but this sounds a very strange set up even to me.

Given the parameters you are both choosing to live by, if you each buy your own food, then husband should not be eating your things, especially when you have planned them for packed lunches and have the correct amount.

RandomMess · Yesterday 06:23

It’s incredibly sad that your supppsed DH is watching you struggle to that extent and is completely oblivious.

SALaw · Yesterday 06:22

What a way to live with a life partner.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · Yesterday 06:21

This whole post sounds like you're describing a random housemate, not a husband.

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