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Original poster

Was this petty of me?

86 replies

Woofy12 · Yesterday 06:11

I'm on a stricter budget to pay off some debt, husband isn't really on a budget and earns a bit more.
We don't really eat together except if we go out, we tend to buy our own food as we often eat different things.
I take a packed lunch into work to try and save, i bought some chocolate bars to put in. Husband asked if he could have one so I said yes.
In the past I've woken up and he'll have eaten more in the night or whatever whereas I've tried to make them last the full week for work.
Was it petty of me to kindly let him know I'd like to keep them for work, but that i can buy us a larger pack to split between us?
I know it sounds ridiculous and tight, that's how I feel. He understood, it sounds stupid but when you plan for the week, wake up and half of it's gone, you have to go out and buy more.

OP posts:
indigox · Yesterday 13:01

This is not a marriage.

LlamasDramas · Yesterday 09:28

fuckeditupbadly · Yesterday 09:22

Apt user name! Jesus, its not that weird to be up late or not be able to sleep, make a drink and a snack. Eating disorder? Bit much based on what the op has written.

Show quote history

The OP is implying that he is eating a load of biscuits in the middle of the night. To me that is not normal - 1 or 2 fine - but a whole load is not healthy. He could have an eating disorder for all we know. We have been given very little information so different perspectives will be drawn.

Alwayswonderedwhy · Yesterday 09:26

Sounds like you live in a student house not with your husband. I'm all for being financially independent but this is taking it to the extreme.

fuckeditupbadly · Yesterday 09:22

LlamasDramas · Yesterday 07:22

Just have your own stash hidden away if you don't trust him to binge. Him waking up in the middle of the night scoffing lots of biscuits sounds like an eating disorder to me. Does he binge other stuff as well?

Strange for you to ask on here whether you can talk to him about this. Do you think he will be upset if you want your fair share?

Apt user name! Jesus, its not that weird to be up late or not be able to sleep, make a drink and a snack. Eating disorder? Bit much based on what the op has written.

Goldengirl123 · Yesterday 08:46

How very strange!!!!! I cannot imagine living like this. You are a couple, not housemates

MajorSamanthaCarter · Yesterday 08:31

What a miserable way to live. Why are you kindly asking him, are you scared of him?

Pinkflamingo10 · Yesterday 08:28

This sounds like you’re describing a uni housemate.
why doesn’t your husband see you’re struggling and just buy all the groceries so you both can enjoy nice things ?

Needacalminginfluence · Yesterday 08:24

Sorry OP but how depressing. This doesn't sound like a marriage at all.

Ponoka7 · Yesterday 08:13

It wasn't at all petty. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, then he could be treating you to a multi pack of chocolate bars. He must at least be passing garages, they've all got fun size multipacks in for Halloween. Please don't tell me your debt is from maternity leave, or anything else that should be him taking over?

Moonnstarz · Yesterday 07:52

What is the debt? Was it something from before you met or something you might have taken on with him but in your name?

As others have said this arrangement does seem weird that if he knows you are on a tight budget and he isn't, why isn't he buying the chocolate to share?

How else are your finances split? Is it 50:50 but he earns more? I would be concerned over whether finances in your house are fair or whether he seems to be coming out of this better.

Error404FucksNotFound · Yesterday 07:35

Does your husband know that you are struggling financially? Does he not want to help you?

Doozycan · Yesterday 07:35

Maisymouse2 · Yesterday 07:15

He can buy his own box.
How do you split loo roll and laundry detergent?
Weird.

The toilet paper labelled one for him and one for me and only 1 piece allowed

LizandDerekGoals · Yesterday 07:34

HoppityBun · Yesterday 07:04

Was it petty of me to kindly let him know

I don’t understand this kindly business; what were you being kind about? Do you mean that you were polite and didn’t show him you were cross?

You also say that he understood, so I haven’t a clue what the problem is.

Edited

I totally agree with this. The only time i can keep chocolate is when i hide it from my greedy dh who eats treats immediately. I agree with others for you to take it to work. And ask him to replace what he had too.

Doozycan · Yesterday 07:33

Woofy12 · Yesterday 06:11

I'm on a stricter budget to pay off some debt, husband isn't really on a budget and earns a bit more.
We don't really eat together except if we go out, we tend to buy our own food as we often eat different things.
I take a packed lunch into work to try and save, i bought some chocolate bars to put in. Husband asked if he could have one so I said yes.
In the past I've woken up and he'll have eaten more in the night or whatever whereas I've tried to make them last the full week for work.
Was it petty of me to kindly let him know I'd like to keep them for work, but that i can buy us a larger pack to split between us?
I know it sounds ridiculous and tight, that's how I feel. He understood, it sounds stupid but when you plan for the week, wake up and half of it's gone, you have to go out and buy more.

The whole post is petty cant believe people cant solve issues. Tell OH to get lost buy his own simples

LlamasDramas · Yesterday 07:22

Just have your own stash hidden away if you don't trust him to binge. Him waking up in the middle of the night scoffing lots of biscuits sounds like an eating disorder to me. Does he binge other stuff as well?

Strange for you to ask on here whether you can talk to him about this. Do you think he will be upset if you want your fair share?

FeralWoman · Yesterday 07:19

Maisymouse2 · Yesterday 07:15

He can buy his own box.
How do you split loo roll and laundry detergent?
Weird.

I assume he’s got the 4 ply luxury toilet paper and she’s using the cheapest generic 1 ply, and separate bottles and brands of detergent.

FeralWoman · Yesterday 07:17

If money and food are so separate why the fuck are you putting up with him eating your chocolate? Buy it and keep it at work. He can’t eat it there.

If he wants some of your chocolate at home he can bloody well pay for it. Put a jar next to the chocolate and write on it “Chocolate £2/bar” or whatever is a fair price. He’s a penny pinching selfish greedy fucker isn’t he?

Maisymouse2 · Yesterday 07:15

He can buy his own box.
How do you split loo roll and laundry detergent?
Weird.

Beekman · Yesterday 07:12

I cannot imagine living with a parter and letting them struggle financially whilst I lived a comfortable life. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?

HoppityBun · Yesterday 07:04

Was it petty of me to kindly let him know

I don’t understand this kindly business; what were you being kind about? Do you mean that you were polite and didn’t show him you were cross?

You also say that he understood, so I haven’t a clue what the problem is.

andfinallyhereweare · Yesterday 06:59

This is an unusual set up- it doesn’t sound like a partnership at all- we just have all joint money. None of this yours and mine.

Babayagahaha · Yesterday 06:55

You're married and eat like a second class citizen in your own home?

How else is he financially abusing you?

AmyJahabee · Yesterday 06:45

Honestly, I find this quite exhausting. In a marriage, I don’t think you should have to scrutinise each other over such small things as a few chocolate bars. It seems a bit childish to me, to be honest. If you want to keep them for your work lunches, why not leave them at work. That way, you can stick to your budget without having to worry about who’s eaten what at home. I understand that you’re trying to pay off debt, but surely there are bigger things to focus on in a marriage than keeping track of a few chocolate bars.

LizandDerekGoals · Yesterday 06:45

Thingcanonlygetbetter · Yesterday 06:37

Op that’s a very strange set up for a marriage. So you both go and get separate grocery shops for your food. I would be annoyed if my husband knew I was struggling and couldn’t just get the weekly shop.

This. Your husband siunds mean. Why isnt he treating you?

OrdinaryGirl · Yesterday 06:43

RandomMess · Yesterday 06:23

It’s incredibly sad that your supppsed DH is watching you struggle to that extent and is completely oblivious.

Fully agree. OP, your question about the chocolate is neither here nor there. The real question is What is going on in your marriage? 😥