To be appalled that parents need to be supported by government to potty train their child

It’s horrific, not just in the UK. A little boy in my DS’s class pooped all over the bathroom floor at school (reception age) the other week. Didn’t tell the teacher. Other children then stood in it and trekked it all through the classroom and turned the room into a turd covered classroom. The teacher called another parent that night in hysterics (understandably). They’re not paid for or equipped to deal with that, I felt awful for her and the TA. Personal opinion here, but children should be bathroom ready to go to school. My child has ASD and it took work but he did get it by 3.5.

I am older. When I was a young adult other mums told me kids were ready for toilet training when you had dry spells between nappy changes, as this meant they had muscle control.

I think leaving it till later is fine for the kids who have no problem toilet training. It's like if we didn't teach kids to read until they are 12, those who find it fairly easy and are academic but would catch up.

But it means those who struggle with potty training simply take that struggle into a much older age where it becomes more of an issue for kids to still be in nappies.

But we were always taught that you had to actually toilet train them. And often the first step was getting them used to sitting on the potty without any expectations. Many of us also used bribery, it usually works,

To be fair the reason this used to happen less is exactly because there was far far more government intervention. My mum was a health visitor in the 1980's and 1990's and she would have a relationship with every family with an under 5. They could call her anytime, visit her in clinic weekly and she would support with weaning, potty training and identity children needing referrals. Now families are left to theor own devices so school is sometimes the first state intervention these children have. It's a result of austerity. There have slways been lazy parents

Yes there has been.
And in poor areas there was public shaming of bad parents. Sometimes helped, sometimes didn't.

I agree.

Traditional terry nappies were uncomfortable when wet, so children were ready to potty train much earlier. Modern disposables advertise that they are dry on the skin, even when soaked. The message of ‘wetness’ doesn’t get through in the same way, so there’s little incentive for a child to rid themselves of nappies nowadays.

I don’t think it’s everywhere though. My kids are little still. For pre school for my eldest last year they told parents that they expected children to be dry, and to make a real effort in the summer holidays if they weren’t. Mine were both trained by two, or just after for my second. Everyone was apparently potty trained in my son’s pre school class, so that’s age 3. And it’s in an area with a lot of two parent working families

Average age of parents was much younger in the 60s, 70s and 80s than it is now as well. So you'd think with more life experience themselves, parents would be more across this kind of stuff. But seemingly, they are not and it baffles me tbh. I wonder what is going on? And if its that there are more SEN kids, why is that? And then again, see lots of people say SEN is not increasing, its just better diagnosed now, which then begs the question, why are issues like this on the increase then if SEN rates are the same as they were years ago, but now were just more aware? So many questions.

Agree my parents used Terry nappies on us. We were out onlf nappies early day and night.

I think that the hassle of washing terry nappies meant mums were more willing to sit their babies on the potty regularly and frequently, and the children got used to the feel of the potty meaning it was time for a wee.

Thank you!

As a Reception teacher, I actually fully support government intervention here because the problem is the messaging that has reached parents about children needing to be “ready” to toilet train. This has come from nappy companies trying to prolong nappy wearing and does delay potty training and is not evidence based. That messaging is STRONG and has been on to go a good 20(?) years. It needs something strong to counteract it.

Honestly, the idea that parents are older these days and therefore should have more experience makes sense, until you realise that their baby is often the ONLY baby many parents know. Probably when women became mothers younger and had less access to workplaces and social mobility, they were in their neighbourhood seeing other young women caring for babies and were most likely near their own mothers for guidance too.