AIBU to stay awake until my 17-year-old gets home safely?

Mine is a couple of years older. I always thought I'd be a "stay up till they get in" mum but the reality is I need my sleep and I have to get up to get things done, whereas she doesn't. She got in a 7.20 this morning, staying up all night would be ridiculous. She texts me when she gets in so I know when I wake up that she's home.

Thank goodness I’m not alone! Mine are way past this stage now, but my thinking was that they’ll be away at Uni soon and I won’t know then, so why worry now?

I’d be wide awake until she got in. My daughter is almost 16. She was late in last night and not contactable for a while. My heart started beating super fast and I became completely distracted from the film we were watching until she got home.

Do you have “curfews” at nearly 18?!

We never had fixed times that our teens to be home it’s a case by case basis. When I was late teen my friends parents had these arbitrary curfews and would get apoplectic with rage if we were 5 minutes late. I remember at the time thinking how pathetic it was and swore never to be like that myself.

I was out clubbing at 14 and my parents never stayed up. I never stayed up for my children either. You have to bring them up to be able to look after themselves. If they have a phone and cash for an Uber they will be ok.

I saw one suggestion, more for implementing a curfew, that you set a loud manual alarm clock for the time they're supposed to be back by, which they turn off when they get in. That would also work for alerting you if they're not back when expected.

I do, or i set alarm for a certain time and then check where they are x

I always stay up.
And my lovely young people come rolling into my bedroom at all hours to assure me they're home safe 🥰

I don't wait up but tend to sleep rather badly and am often awake to see her come in on the doorbell cam.

After getting back at 130 and waking us up just heard 17 year old leave for her weekend shift. Oh to be young and have the energy!

Haven’t collected mine late for years. I grew up in a village and didn’t want that for my teens so we chose a small city. Enough for a nightlife but not too big. They get a bus back if in a group or an uber from town is under £10. Or walk as last resort if in a group. A friend lives rurally and has devoted her life to driving her teens around. No thanks.

You collect your 20 year old from nights out??

I go to sleep and then usually wake up again naturally a couple of hours later and check he's in on life 360 (which is about the only thing I use it for these days!)
Actually mine is now 18 and rolled in at 5am this morning, and has been working shifts finishing at 10 for a few months so getting back after I go to bed, often via a drive to see a friend so I've got a lot better at being able to go to bed without worrying if he's in or not. It does get easier. I really wouldn't wait up though, that way madness lies.

Feel like a bad mum now! I have my phone by my bed so if they needed to get hold of me they could I guess.

They are competent girls with nice loyal friends so don’t see how me trashing my sleep is of benefit to anyone really. Remember sneaking in really late when I was in the 6th form my parents were always fast asleep.

This is me too.

I leave the bathroom light on, so they can see their way upstairs easily 🤔 but when it's off I know they are home and can then sleep.

Ds is older now (just 21) so I am a bit more relaxed but I still listen out sometimes. He's really reliable and doesn't drink but if I know it's going to be a late one after I go to bed (I go at 12), I leave the porch light on. It shines through to the hall and faintly upstairs. DS switches it off when he gets in, so if I doze and wake, I immediately know whether he's home or not.

How is she getting home?
I am still collecting mine at 20.
If my older children come in late, they text me "home" so i can check my phone and not have to check bedrooms.

I just go to bed and fall asleep. Was asleep actually but woken up by nearly 18 year old who forgot her key after a party🙈🙄.

She’s a party girl I’d be exhausted if I waited up. Dd1 had a gap year and worked in a restaurant and the staff would socialise after work so she became practically nocturnal. That cured me of waking up it would have killed me physically. We live in safe small city with Ubers and ours quite sensible and capable.

I’ll go to bed and read or doze until they’re home.

I don't really stay up any more but did for ages.

A couple of times one of mine got so drunk that after that I always wanted to be awake, so if he was noisily fumbling around on the doorstep finding his key I could let him in.

Now I tend to go to bed, but if I wake in the night I'll always check whether they're back or not. I couldn't just go back to sleep and not find out till the morning.

My mum used to leave the landing light on. That way she could go to bed and when she woke up she knew we were in because we knew to turn it off. I did the same with my 3.

I’m 33 and still have to text my mother when I get home from a night out to let her know I’m home safe🤣

Thankfully (for her) I don’t stay out until the early hours anymore.

YABU to stay up.

But, as many have said, it is fairly normal to just doze until you know she is home.

What are her plans for getting home ?
Do you know the person / people she has gone with ?

Been where you are. I spent many sleepless nights waiting for a text or key in the door. They say that once you have a child your heart lives out side your body forever.