Ex ignored my message about needing major surgery after our split

I am sure that hurts, especially as you still care for him. But try to take his silence as a confirmation that your relationship with him is over. Time to put this relationship firmly in the past and move on.

Of course he ignored you - you’re no longer together. That is the harsh reality and he’s respecting his boundaries. It’s of no interest or consequence to him what happens to you going forwards.

(TBH, even if you had children together he wouldn’t HAVE to step up and look after them if it was outside the agreed usual times for his care of them. Another harsh reality.)

There’s clearly a backstory here, but like others have said - unless you share children and he needs to care for them while you recover, your problems are no longer any of his concern. It’s not obligatory to stay friends with an ex and sometimes it’s better to just have the clean break.

You have made several threads about this relationship ending and all on the same topic about disbelief it has ended. Please consider reaching out to a real life friend or family member and look at counselling to work through your feelings. There is only so much strangers on the internet can help you with...

Said kindly OP you need to let him go. He is your ex and you have posted continuously about him. I feel for you as I know how heartbreak can send you into a dark place but I think you really need some professional help now.

IF you were hoping to elicit sympathy and a kind response to build on, then you can be assured that's not going to happen. He has made a clean cut.
I think it's probably for the best in the long run.
Look after yourself with love. X

I ignored my ex when he messaged me about a serious illness in the family. It never even entered my head to commiserate with him because I disliked him so much by then. You guys broke up for a reason.

You AGAIN!

Of course he has ignored your obvious attempt at emotional coercion. Quite rightly as you are trying to attach yourself like a limpet.

It's over. Done. Finished. You could cry a river but it won't bring him back.

You are wallowing in it. Time to take action. Write down all the things you hate or dislike about him (be honest) and every time you feel bereft read it several times. Make yourself do something to distract yourself

Constantly making these Woe Is Me threads is not the way to help yourself - unless of course you're enjoying the Misery Fest - we all know people like that.

Kindly, you’re broken up. He has decided he no longer wants to be with you and this is no longer his burden to bear.

Have you reached out to him since splitting previously? He’s probably just seeing this as another way for you to try and try him to talk to you.

Basic empathy shouldn't be beyond anyone who presumably until recently claimed they loved OP and share a past with them.

OP bless you. I feel your pain seeping through the screen.

Please reach out to GP about getting therapy for your trauma and mental health. Request a referral to psychiatry. "Talking therapy" is not enough - don't let them fob you off with that. You need more intensive support and probably a community psychiatric nurse.

Also mention you're a carer.

Don't delay x

If I was your ex I’d see you telling me about surgery as a major manipulation tactic. One I’ve been on the receiving end of more than once.
I have sympathy that your relationship has ended and that you are facing some health concerns. I hope you have a wider support network you can lean on.

Unless you share children that you need him to look after during that time, then I’m not surprised he didn’t respond. It’s over and he has no obligation to get involved in this. He also might have taken it as you trying to use it as an opportunity to try to get back with him.

I think he cheated on the OP. So that's not really love.

Oh for goodness sake. Just stop posting @TheOpalFox

He probably doesn’t believe you about the surgery with the way you’ve behaved over the last few months.

Of all the people you might enlist to support you post-surgery, you naturally selected the one person you know damn well has no time for ‘neediness’, let alone anything actually hands on (such as changing a dressing).
By opening the door to this bloke again, you are deliberately sabotaging any progress you might have made in recovering from the split.
You know he is out of your life for good, and so now you have found a source of additional tales of woe such as his not replying to your ill-advised communication. There’ll be more, no doubt.

For the love of God will you wake up, woman!
I’ve said it before and regretted the harshness but really, you are addicted to this drawn-out heartbreak and never take a blind bit of notice of any advice or encouragement your numerous threads elicit.
I reckon you fancy yourself as some tragic pre-Raphaelite woman, all flowing locks and gown, with a ‘tragedy mask’ face on her like The Lady of Shallot, and look where it’s getting you.
How about pretending to be a woman in command of her senses, it’s much easier on the nerves. (The nerves of your teenaged son that is, witnessing this ridiculous behaviour.)

EDIT: just a thought, Fox. Didn’t you report at one stage that the doc had given you anti-depressants, or even something stronger? If you are continuing on the course prescribed, could they be behind this rash behaviour?

You still haven't said if you have children together. That's the ONLY thing which should be eliciting a "wow, he's ignored me!" exclamation.

If you don't have kids, of course he's not going to respond. Were you hoping that you telling him would send him running back to you? It's all rather attention seeking.

For some people when it’s over it is over, no friendship after dating
I am like this I block and delete and couldn’t care about the person

I don’t think @TheOpalFox has children with her ex.

I would ignore my Ex too.

It must be scary to be facing surgery and I understand the temptation to reach out to your ex for support but he is under no obligation to help you unless you have a child/ren. i once i asked my ex for help after I had a gynecological procedure that went wrong leaving me with an infection and bleeding. i was told i needed bed rest, a bit difficult when you are a single mum to an 8 year old. I asked my ex for help only to be met with this response "No, you are always ill; sort it yourself" i was "always ill" as had a health issue at the time and the op was meant to deal with it. Anyway my point is, this man has gone from your life and he's not going to help, time to seek out other people who can. I hope you find support and your op goes to plan

Time to look for supoort with family and friends.
It is not wise to emotionally hold on to someone when it is over for a support that no longer is the same.
Heslthh boundries.
A surgery should be clearly explained for any fear doubt or worry.

OP, I don’t routinely search usernames but a few PPs have pointed out you have posted about this continuously so wanted to see for myself.

You either aren’t genuine or need to seek some specialist help. You have probably hit Mumsnet bingo by now with every single type of AIBU issue in a short time frame.

It's you. Again.

Leave him alone.

If it’s over then it’s over, finished, done. Unless you have children together he needs to care for when you have surgery there’s no longer a relationship between you.