A couple of weeks ago it was my eldest's 18th Birthday. I was always under the impression that 18 & 21 were "big birthdays". My side of the family acknowledged their birthday with a bit of extra to mark the occasion.
They didn't want a party so we went away for the weekend and did something my DC wanted to do.
My PIL sent a card and a token amount, and my SIL just sent a card. Now before anyone calls me grabby, I want to put this into context. My PIL and SIL have had milestone birthdays over the years. If you didn't acknowledge them in an OTT way you would be seriously in the dog house. My SIL's last milestone cost us £400.
My in-laws like to play politics and like to punish where they see fit. They have been off with my DC for a while now. My eldest is doing their A levels, has a job and a partner and is a typical teen. They are busy and their whole life is people their age, parties and being in their 6th form bubble. My in-laws are upset that my DC is not immediately responding to their likes and comments on social media and their lack of enthusiasm to join a WhatsApp group with their GP and Aunt and Uncle. TBH it is hard enough for me to get them to respond to my texts in everyday life. They think the whole world revolves around them, so will also be annoyed that we are not including them in the weekend away or paying for a big fancy meal out with them all.
Based on previous experience of my in-laws I think they have colluded to not really acknowledge my DC's 18th. I know that sounds far fetched but I have 30 years of witnessing this type of behaviour. They have always been like this with me, but I didn't really care. If you don't toe the line, they ironically go the extra mile to treat you with indifference.
DH and I have always said we would stay out of the family politics. They are always at odds with someone at any given point of time. HOWEVER, if they start on my DC then I know I am going to lose it.
WWYD?
AIBU to be bothered by this? I can see that my DH is a bit hurt and my DC is a bit too.
Do nothing, just leave it and ignore it or be done with the petty bollocks and never again acknowledge any of their birthdays with anything but a card?