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Original poster

Becoming judgemental as I age

54 replies

sunshine244 · 25/09/2026 18:57

Help! I used to be really laid back, saw the best in people, very positive and avoided gossip.

I'm now mid 40s, perimenopausal and am also ND (diagnosed combined ADHD but likely autistic too). In the last maybe 2 years I've gradually noticed I'm increasingly judgemental, with more black and white views. It just seems to pop into my head without realising it.

I'm trying to fight it but I am curious if this is normal at this sort of age. Is it perimenopause? Is it burnout from caring from my ND kids as a single parent, school issues etc. Or am I just becoming a horrible person 🫣 More importantly... how do I change it?

OP posts:
Itchthescratch · 25/09/2026 19:11

CostcoFanofThree · 25/09/2026 19:06

I think it’s normal at this stage in life for the rose tinted glasses to drop off.
Life experience jades the naive views of youth.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having an opinion. However you need to develop skills to cope with unpopular views.

I agree. I think we are idealistic when we are young and more likely to believe the best about people. As we get older and experience more of life, we see more people making terrible decisions, being selfish and just realise that lots of people are inherently flawed and not very nice people. I believe it's why there is a general political trend of people becoming more right wing.

CostcoFanofThree · 25/09/2026 19:06

I think it’s normal at this stage in life for the rose tinted glasses to drop off.
Life experience jades the naive views of youth.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having an opinion. However you need to develop skills to cope with unpopular views.

SomethingFun · 25/09/2026 19:01

Haha snap! If you’re in my circle then you still get that version of me but I’ve spent too much time and energy on jobs and people who have given me nothing back to keep putting it out there for all and sundry. I think the most important thing is to look after yourself and put that time and energy into you and then when you choose to be benevolent to others they are getting the best version of you and not a worn out husk.

Trumptontown · 25/09/2026 19:01

I don’t know but, funnily enough, I was going to post something similar - I just didn’t know how to word it without sounding like an arsehole 😂

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