Becoming judgemental as I age

While I don't agree with every bit of this, it did make me laugh.

In my experience as you get older you increasingly don’t sweat the small stuff. Older people who do, generally did it when they were younger as well. I have had a lot of contact with older people throughout my life and it is generally true that the irritable and nasty ones have always been that way. And vice versa the kind and gentle people.

I don’t get your point about going on marches. I never suggested that they couldn’t. People can protest as much as they wish as long as it is peaceful and does not interfere with the lives of others. So as an example no one should be gluing themselves to the road and stopping traffic because they don't want people to eat meat.What no one is entitled to do is bully others into remaining quiet if they disagree. Sadly the adherents of right think seem to be the worse offenders.

I actually dont think we judge enough and its not good for society.

Of course I am older!

I think young people are much more likely to be group thinking, believing the 'right' way to think and so say those things, try to believe those things. As you have more experience in life and realise its not necessary and a lot of the group think is the emperors new clothes type of thing, you dont go along with it. As Ive aged Im more confident to say 'thats bullshit' and I dont agree with it.

You see examples all the time on here and in social media, a good example is this new phenomenon of 'age gap' relationships.

I’m kind of the opposite. I don’t give a shit anymore, people can do what they like. Things people used to say would have really irritated me in the past, now it’s maybe an eye roll and move on. On the other hand, people really fucking irritate me. But that’s not judgemental, it’s just anyone who’s noisy or selfish or a prick generally.

No I don’t think it is something thay just happens, I’m 57 and I don’t think this way, I don’t beleive in be kind and am straight talking, but I’m not intolerant and don’t think mean things about people.

my sil does, in fact I think she enjoys it.

I have become more confident and happy in myself as I have grown older.

That also means I have no time for toxic people and poor behaviour in general in my life.

I was raised by controlling and abusive parents to be a quiet and meek as a mouse and a complete people pleaser which did me a lot of harm when I became an adult.

Thankfully as I aged I was able to stop these patterns and stand up for myself.

I also have no patience for men's bullshit anymore and no longer seek their approval.

I became more radical in my thinking from my 40s onwards. I was always a 'lefty' but I am so much more interested in feminism, green issues and social equality issues now that I have had a lot of life experience and see the world as it really is.

Basically I don't think it is being 'judgemental' OP, it is more about being able to care less about what other people thinks and question the many expectations and limitations that are put on women and refusing to be 'nice' and a doormat anymore.

I am 55 now and I just ignore all this 'cancel' culture and wanting to suppress free speech rather than debate issues. Basically as far as I am concerned people are allowed to have different opinions from mine but I also give myself the right to tell them to F off if I disagree.

Yep, I'm 56 and I'm like this.

I didn't think about politics too much when I was younger, I was too busy having fun and then raising a family.

I am now pretty far right. I think this comes after decades of seeing injustices. You become jaded and more short tempered. You've seen it all, and then some.

Illegal immigration - I would not allow even 1 in the Country

Rapists and Murderers - death penalty

Prison sentences - you must serve your whole tariff

Trans "women" in sports - fuck off, no

Men in women's bathrooms - fuck off, no

Judges who give too lenient sentences - strike them off

Non binary clap trap - translated : "Look at meeee"

If a burglar gets hurt when he's robbing someone - FAFO

Anxiety - do you have "anxiety" or are you anxious about this one thing?

Constant chatter about Mental Health - Of course some people are unwell, but I'm sure some people use this as a "get out of jail free card" when they just want to be lazy. Can't say that though, oh no!

Multiculturalism - doesn't work. They don't want our ways and we don't want theirs. Stop trying to force people to live together when their ideals clash, it doesn't fucking work. It's like trying to make dogs and cats mate.

I have many more. I do many, many eye rolls, every single day.

Well, doesn’t that depend if you’re not tolerating injustice and going on protest marches, or whether, like a current thread on here, you are irritated enough by watching a student buy a plastic bag at a supermarket to start a thread on Mn fulminating that they should have known about bag charges, which have been in place for many years? One is good ‘intolerance’. The other is completely unproductive and just suggests someone in a permanent state of high irritation.

It is called wisdom and really not caring if others do not like your opinions. It’s wonderfully liberating.

as long as you are not being a complete arsehole or being gratuitously offensive you are entitled to your opinions.

as a society we seemed to have reached the stage where only the opinions of the “be kind” brigade are acceptable and many are bullied into silence by this. Ironically this brigade are often the most unkind and destructive people imaginable.

so embrace your opinion, keep an open mind but never be afraid to change it.

Sorry, not necessarily equally, but fairly.

It's down to your manager to share the workload equally.

Just roll with it OP there's a lot of morons about to be judgemental about!

Yes, science verifies the trend.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261379422000452

Me too at 56. 'Do what you will but harm none'.

I think judging others is (or can be) a bad thing when it comes purely with judgement and without any understanding or recognition of why those things may have happened.

I see a lot of judgement about poor parenting but I don’t see it tempered with any understanding and that’s a bad combination.

Maybe it's time for job change? Or not doing as much of the extra work? Pick your battles.

Ooh I'm going off topic here but I'm afraid this kind of statement really riles me - I mean technically you're correct I guess, but as both a worker and a manager, it's a very hard one to address! You can't wave a magic wand and make someone more efficient, sadly.

There is research on this, there is a tendency to become less optimistic etc., but you can fight it by challenging your own negative thoughts.

As someone said earlier, I've grown more open minded and tolerate of some and less of others. Actions speak louder than words.

I'm also AuDHD. I feel like I've been through the wringer at this point (I'm 43). I just want my peace.

"my work colleagues who aren't efficient and so I end up doing extra."

That's your manager's fault.

IRL I say a lot less than I used to, offer fewer opinions and am very non committal. So much appears to have the capacity to offend someone and I really can't be bothered.

I don't think I hold any radical or particularly controversial points of view but people seem to jump down your throat if you disagree with them.

Im more tolerant with some and less so with others - i certainly have more balanced opinions which come with life experience but I still can’t tolerate some of the hate that spews from the mouths of many people my age and I’m very happy to let people know that
Less judgemental more informed I’d say .

Interestingly, I think it’s actually only been true for about a generation! I.e. past generations voted consistently in line with work / social class contexts throughout their lives.

AND the evidence is that it’s becoming less true that people get more right wing as they age once again. Millennials aren’t getting the same economic stakes in the system (home ownership etc) as the generation before them; I think traditional shifts to the right have gone along with gaining wealth (so self interest rather than increased wisdom!) so that will change.

I'm the opposite and am more sympathetic and patient. Though clear idiots get short shrift.

I don’t know why being judgey is necessarily a bad thing? I hold myself to high standards of moral behaviour and I expect it from other people.

As I’ve aged I realise to err is human so I tend to judge people’s intentions rather than their actions. Especially when you’ve worked and socialised with people over the years who fool everyone because they appear charming on the surface but you know they’re actually not good people.

What being judgey means is that I only surround myself with decent people, reasonable, measured opinions and strong personal boundaries. It’s a protective mechanism. I’m all for it - wish more people were more judgey and less accepting of chaotic and uncivilised society.