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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thud, thud, thud!

29 replies

Littlewiseone · 25/09/2026 18:55

Kid next door most evenings of late (and all summer during the world cup) kicking a football in their back garden. It's either against the back of the house which is connected to ours with only a fence between us, or being slammed off the decking. It's the most god awful thumping that resonates through our whole downstairs area - living space and kitchen - and it means sitting outside to enjoy the evening is impossible, as is leaving open the patio door. It goes on for an hour or two. I've already asked once for the kicking to stop before 8am when I'm putting my son down, but now I want to ask it to stop completely. AIBU to ask this or do I need to just deal with it.

OP posts:
VioletsTale · 25/09/2026 18:58

You need to just deal with it. It’s a kid playing in his garden. In a few years that will be your kid.

Cobrakainerd · 25/09/2026 19:03

The weather will turn fairly soon and be dark early, you child will also be playing out soon enough. Will you let them play with a ball, run ,jump? Not worth sweating over now.

Raptors · 25/09/2026 19:05

It's a child playing in his garden for a few hours. It's a completely normal part of living near others. I suspect your child or even yourself do things that annoy your neighbours but they sensibly don't say anything because its just life.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 25/09/2026 19:06

VioletsTale · 25/09/2026 18:58

You need to just deal with it. It’s a kid playing in his garden. In a few years that will be your kid.

I missed that bit, is she going to adopt him? 😱

(Added Munch's Scream)

BitOutOfPractice · 25/09/2026 19:07

It’ll be dark at 8pm. Much earlier than that very soon.

MyArtfulGreySloth · 25/09/2026 19:09

Sorry but unless he’s kicking it against your actual wall or fence then he’s allowed to kick his ball.

Raptors · 25/09/2026 19:09

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 25/09/2026 19:06

I missed that bit, is she going to adopt him? 😱

(Added Munch's Scream)

Edited

She quite clearly means in a few years her child will be the one paying and making noise, probably with a ball. Are you always so literal?

Fuschiagreen · 25/09/2026 19:11

Been there. Good news is it doesn’t last forever, couple of summers and they all grow out of it/ are allowed out to hopefully find a field and if not, annoy others

Abracadabra12345 · 25/09/2026 19:11

Raptors · 25/09/2026 19:09

She quite clearly means in a few years her child will be the one paying and making noise, probably with a ball. Are you always so literal?

I think pp is joking (I found it funny!)

WellThatIsABitMad · 25/09/2026 19:11

The dark nights are petty much here now. But regardless, if he’s going it for an hour or two then you are being very unreasonable.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 25/09/2026 19:14

lol, no you can’t ask them to completely ban him from playing football in his own garden.

Annoying though.

LakieLady · 25/09/2026 19:14

Sending sympathy, OP, that noise is one I find incredibly intrusive and irritating.

Ear plugs? Play some music through headphones?

Elieza · 25/09/2026 19:14

it’s a total pain in the arse.
i had that from child number one next door
then child number one on the other side.
then child number two.
then child number three
then child number four.
and so it went on. 9 kids in total. bang bang bang. and dont forget scrape scrape thud thing when they “score a goal” off the kerb in the street too.

when one family gets too big they move and another moves in. nightmare.

id have been killed if i did that to my parents/neighbours.

ive asked various parents if it could please stop. and it does. for a while. but they aren't interested in taking the kids (they chose to spawn) up to the park for a proper kick about so they just get left to amuse themselves in the garden. great.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 25/09/2026 19:23

I think you’d need to be prepared for the very real possibility that his parents will list all the times your child has cried, screamed, squawked, whinged, banged or crashed since they’ve been born and that they’ll give you a full rundown of how it has disturbed their peace and enjoyment. And God help you from now on every time you or your child makes a peep playing next summer. It will be commented on.

Another month or so and it’ll be too dark for him to be playing in the garden, but if it bothers you that much, have a look on Freecycle for a kid’s goal post set, some dribbling cones or one of those target things where they have to try and get the ball through the holes. Pop your head over the fence and tell him you thought he might like it, then ask if there’s any way he could avoid hitting the house because it vibrates. He’ll probably be far more amenable with a bit of good old fashioned bribery than if you start asking for total compliance.

pictoosh · 25/09/2026 19:30

It's just life, kids are allowed to play out. You can't expect to control his use of the garden to the degree you're suggesting.

Catza · 25/09/2026 19:35

My neighbour's boy does the same with the additional bonus of his ball ending up in my garden near daily. We just laugh about it. It's not harming anyone and he needs to run off his energy.
I am much more concerned about his weekend late night computer use which sounds like there is "The Exorcist" re-enactment happening next door... or indeed about an adult somewhere on the street thinking we might all enjoy a spot of trance music at half eleven on a work night.

Littlewiseone · 25/09/2026 22:27

Fuschiagreen · 25/09/2026 19:11

Been there. Good news is it doesn’t last forever, couple of summers and they all grow out of it/ are allowed out to hopefully find a field and if not, annoy others

Thank you that's reassuring. I do get that it's life, and of course I don't want the kid not to be in her own garden, but it's very aggressive and highly repetitive so it means I cannot go outside and enjoy my garden or open the windows. So that feels unfair.

OP posts:
Littlewiseone · 25/09/2026 22:29

LakieLady · 25/09/2026 19:14

Sending sympathy, OP, that noise is one I find incredibly intrusive and irritating.

Ear plugs? Play some music through headphones?

Thank you yes it is extremely intrusive as it's as though it is right in our garden. And some noises just grate more than others!

OP posts:
ILoveListeningToRainAtNight · 25/09/2026 22:33

Littlewiseone · 25/09/2026 22:27

Thank you that's reassuring. I do get that it's life, and of course I don't want the kid not to be in her own garden, but it's very aggressive and highly repetitive so it means I cannot go outside and enjoy my garden or open the windows. So that feels unfair.

You can go out in the garden. Been through this. Played my own music over the top to drown it out (no other neighbours). The parents soon hauled it back to an acceptable period of time. The playing isn't the problem, it's the duration of it. Hours is not reasonable.

SassyLemonFish · Yesterday 07:37

Two young boys next to us were doing this intermittently. We put up with it for a while, but then the banging on our fence grew louder. It was because the boys were getting bigger and stronger, the eldest going through puberty. We had a word with the neighbour “it’s time your lads took themselves off to the park opposite”

The father agreed with us! No more football in the garden!

Cel77 · Yesterday 07:39

Raptors · 25/09/2026 19:09

She quite clearly means in a few years her child will be the one paying and making noise, probably with a ball. Are you always so literal?

I thought it was quite clear she meant it as a joke. Are you always this literal?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · Yesterday 07:43

Just pray that he doesn't leave football for basketball - the hollow 'glong glong glong' of those things being bounced drives me mad!

But they usually grow out of this stage fairly fast, OP, and would rather be off out playing with their friends rather than solo in their garden with a ball. Or they get into computer gaming and you never see or hear them at all and wonder if they still live there...

Cel77 · Yesterday 07:43

Littlewiseone · 25/09/2026 22:29

Thank you yes it is extremely intrusive as it's as though it is right in our garden. And some noises just grate more than others!

I agree with you. Our son is the "thumper". It's a new phase. He's autistic and 11. We let him do it with reason as it seems to help him regulate. However, it is during normal waking hours and not more than 10 minutes at a time. We are trying to encourage him to go to the football court with us but it's not right next to us. It's a10 mins walk so we have to be available for that. He definitely can't go on his own for various reasons. I hope the parents next door realise this would be irritating for the neighbours and are trying to do something about this.

Dandeloosha · Yesterday 07:43

My NDN has a reactive dog that just barks and barks. I’ll swap you a football being kicked for a few hours a day. I can’t say anything - My neighbours have put up with trampolines, balls, paddling pools, kids parties, a few (not too many and relatively civilized) grown ups parties over the years. It’s part and parcel of living in a neighbourhood. I’d put in earplugs or play music for the time he’s doing it.

likelysuspect · Yesterday 07:49

Raptors · 25/09/2026 19:09

She quite clearly means in a few years her child will be the one paying and making noise, probably with a ball. Are you always so literal?

Its clearly a tongue in cheek post, are you always so literal.