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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep my three nephews up all night?

359 replies

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:40

I am having my three nephews over for a sleepover. They’re six, just turned two and five months. The eldest has slept over a few times but not the younger two.

Instead of wrestling them into bed I am planning to let them stay up as late as they like. I’ve always done this with the eldest and he loves it and usually falls asleep at about 10:30pm. I’ll obvious have the baby in his crib but I’ve got a huge corner sofa so I’m going to bring the duvets down and we can just have a slumber party downstairs.

I told my friend who has two sons and she thinks that this will impact their whole week and their schooling and routine and probably exam results and future careers.

I’m not going mad am I? This is fine for one fun evening?

OP posts:
JackGrealishsCalves · 25/09/2026 18:43

When my sister looked after ds for me it was her rules (she was a mum herself, albeit her ds was an adultby then).
I didn't dictate food, routines or bedtimes although she would usually ask about it, I didn't insist she stuck to it

Bikergran · 25/09/2026 19:06

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:42

Parents couldn’t care less! They’re just delighted to be having a night child free. They have never issued instructions, they trust me.

Heaven knows why.

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:27

Bikergran · 25/09/2026 19:06

Heaven knows why.

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😂 Are you upset because you don’t get nights out without your kids?

OP posts:
Mathair2 · 25/09/2026 19:30

What age were they when you last babysat them

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:32

Mathair2 · 25/09/2026 19:30

What age were they when you last babysat them

6, 2 and four months. I look after them often.

OP posts:
TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 19:40

Goinggreymammy · 24/09/2026 22:39

But it's not "one evening out" is it? It's this modern thing that a night out must extend into the next day. When did this start? Can people not get a babysitter (or fun aunty could go mind them in their own familiar house!!!) and parents come home after their night out, babysitter goes home.

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Of course they could. On this occasion they’ve chosen not to. Which is fine.

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 19:44

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 16:06

My relationship is fine, thanks.
I have had many many nights out over the past 30+ years. Fewer than 1 in 20 involved me not being able to go home to my own house or function for the rest of the night/next morning.

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Maybe this is the OP’s sister’s 1 in 20?

Anywherebuthere · 25/09/2026 19:46

It will be fine, they might be a little grumpy the next morning but they'll get over it and you will too. So will their parents. It would be different it was a regular set up but one night won't do much damage.

Not sure why some people are being so dramatic about it. How on earth do they cope when routines change unexpectedly.

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:53

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

Which part is the heinous action? Letting them have pizza? The chocolate? Or perhaps the moral failing which is television? Or perhaps for letting them fall asleep on the sofa?

Are your children never allowed to do any of these things? Poor little things.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:54

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 19:44

Maybe this is the OP’s sister’s 1 in 20?

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I said this and she came back to explain that the one in 20 all happened before she had children 😂.

OP posts:
BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:05

Upfiner · 25/09/2026 19:54

I said this and she came back to explain that the one in 20 all happened before she had children 😂.

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Ah that’s a shame for her, it’s lovely to have a whole night away with your partner while someone who loves your children cares for them.
She should try it, it’s fun!

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:05

Ah that’s a shame for her, it’s lovely to have a whole night away with your partner while someone who loves your children cares for them.
She should try it, it’s fun!

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Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

BugJuice · 25/09/2026 20:14

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

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Well it’s obviously different if you don’t have anyone who will take your children overnight. That’s not the case for the OP’s sister… she has her sister, who loves her nephews and is happy to have them.

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 20:26

Goinggreymammy · 25/09/2026 20:12

Maybe but i don't actually have anyone who would take my children overnight. I don't mind. Luckily sex is allowed at home here so I can "have a shag" as OPs put it without going to a country pub and I can pay for a minder if we both go out. And I drank so much in my younger years I have no real interest in it anymore, perhaps this is one upside of having children later in life.

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Well it’s a huge shame you don’t have anyone who will have your kids overnight. It must be difficult.

It has definitely led to an amazing bond between me and the eldest, and I’m sure it will continue with the younger two too. Nothing better than seeing their excited little faces because they think they’re getting a huge treat because the duvet has come downstairs and they’re allowed to stay up late.

OP posts:
Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

Upfiner · 24/09/2026 21:42

Parents couldn’t care less! They’re just delighted to be having a night child free. They have never issued instructions, they trust me.

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

MyEasterBonnet · 25/09/2026 20:41

If the parents don’t care, then it’s up to them, though I think it sounds like poor parenting. They sound very young to be allowing that in my opinion though. My dad used to keep my kids up late in the hope he’d get a lie in. It would wreck our weekend as they’d then be tired and shitty for it.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 25/09/2026 20:55

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

God you're a boring fucker

ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:04

saraclara · 25/09/2026 11:01

She knows those kids. Their mother knows those kids. You don't. So it's a bit ironic that your criticising her for thinking she knows everything. She knows more about those particular kids than you do.

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She literally posted in AIBU asking if letting the children stay up as late as they like was unreasonable. Based on my experience it is completely unreasonable. If OP doesn't want to hear different opinions she's in the wrong place, and you can jog on too.

saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:05

TheBlueKoala · 25/09/2026 19:35

@Upfiner Sorry but I think your sister is a bad parent for leaving her children in your "care". You sound very young (16?) or just extremely immature.

Ha ha ha! Since I do much the same when my 6 and 3 year old DGDs sleep over I'm clearly the equivalent of a 16 year old too! Though I've got 54 years on that 16 year old.

My DD is far from a bad parent though.

Ivegotonehandinmypocket · 25/09/2026 21:05

I’d be pissed off if you did this!

Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:10

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

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They don’t need structure and routine every minute of every day. It’s not feasible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:12

MyEasterBonnet · 25/09/2026 20:41

If the parents don’t care, then it’s up to them, though I think it sounds like poor parenting. They sound very young to be allowing that in my opinion though. My dad used to keep my kids up late in the hope he’d get a lie in. It would wreck our weekend as they’d then be tired and shitty for it.

You could’ve kept them at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Upfiner · 25/09/2026 21:13

ScotiaLass · 25/09/2026 21:04

She literally posted in AIBU asking if letting the children stay up as late as they like was unreasonable. Based on my experience it is completely unreasonable. If OP doesn't want to hear different opinions she's in the wrong place, and you can jog on too.

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To be honest, I was taking the piss out of my friend. I can’t believe that people would actually care about this.

OP posts:
saraclara · 25/09/2026 21:14

Besidemyselfwithworry · 25/09/2026 20:34

I wouldn’t be overly happy with kids at this age
they need structure and routine

it won’t affect their whole lives but will upskittle them for a couple of days

Show quote history

Routine's all very well until an emergency or other problem disrupts it beyond the child's experience.

Young children need to experience alternatives to their routine, so that they feel secure enough when suddenly their world changes for a day or two.

My eldest DD started to have sleepovers with me, when her mum was pregnant with her little sister. Her mum wanted her to be familiar with sleeping at mine on case it was needed when she went into labour. And it was.

Sleepovers are regular now (for no reason, just because it's fun), and often have a theme, treats and later nights than at home. My DD has never once said that either of the DGDs has been negatively affected in the next day or two. If they had in store she wouldn't be facilitating them happily.