AIBU to ask how people stay slim without strict dieting?

Maybe that's something to do with it, because when I eat sugary things they just disappear. Both in my mind and stomach. If I had 3 doughnuts I would still be as hungry at dinnertime as I would be if I hadn't eaten them at all so I'd still have to eat dinner.

Don’t drink alcohol and don’t eat takeaways

I'd be hungrier - sugar spike...

Boiled cabbage would put anyone off food. 🤣

Fair!
It instilled in my Mum a lifelong hatred of green veg. We only had peas and lettuce growing up (and other coloured veg) growing up. I don't think I had broccoli until I was in my teens.

I love boiled cabbage.

This is an interesting point, actually, because I've defo noted before that no matter how much I eat in the day I'll always be hungry later. Never got the whole "oh, I defo won't be eating dinner tonight" thing following a 1pm meal because in seven hours I'm going to need to fill the void that massive lunch left behind.

I feel like I'm actually way hungrier than if I skip a meal. Fasting usually makes the hunger go away and causes me to fill up super quick at next meal - I don't know if this is the stomach shrinking or if that's just one of those things people say.

I’ve been a bit bigger and a bit smaller but never really over weight.

these days I stay a size 8 because I run 40+ miles every week. I enjoy it so it’s no big deal to me and it means I can eat what I like with in reason.

but also like others have said I have always adjusted how much I eat naturally. I eat breakfast now because I’m so active but when I did less I want hungry in the morning. If I eat a huge lunch I wouldn’t have much dinner etc.

I think people VASTLY over estimate the amount of calories they burn
People are in the main, sedentary
They sit at desks, they sit in cars, they sit and look at screens, they can order coffee in one click
100 years ago no one had cars and people walked everywhere, possibly tram or train for longer journeys
Houses and families took so much work, scrubbing, sweeping, gardening for produce,washing was a performance with a mangle!

I think people eat too much, far too much of what is eaten is UPF, eating for treats, to quell their emotions and then anyone who is slim is criticised for " dieting"
Its the other way round!

No matter what people say, genetics plays a HUGE role. So don't beat yourself up. Just try to be generally healthy.

My mum is "naturally" slim and I'm not.

Every time something stressful happens she completely loses her appetite. I eat when I'm stressed (like my dad!).

She doesn't like cake, or puddings pretty much of any sort. Or croissants or bagels or crumpets. She uses almost no butter on bread or other things like that. She views half a pot of cottage cheese as a reasonable breakfast. She eats a single thin slice of granary bread with a tiny amount of butter and a single poached egg and views that as a "big" breakfast.

So then basically she eats a tiny breakfast, a minimal lunch and a normal size dinner.

Which to me sounds like what I would do if I was on a strict diet.

Neither of us drink loads of wine, or frothy coffees, or hot chocolates. Both of us like crisps but she has more self control around them.

I think a lot of it is to do with food noise - although I know it’s a controversial term.

I think about food all the time! Even if I have say a massive 3 course Sunday roast between 1 and 2 pm, by 3pm I’ll be asking DH what he wants for dinner later! He will be “still full” and skip dinner whereas I will still want dinner, even if it’s just something small like a sandwich.

Some people will call it greed but I genuinely crave food all the time even when I know I can’t possibly need it/be truly physiologically hungry. (I also have a problem with alcohol so maybe the two are linked - I think I get a massive dopamine hit from both eating and drinking).

For people who don’t believe in “food noise”/think it’s just greed - they’ve no idea what it’s like to live fighting cravings all day, every day. As a PP said, some people are just not that bothered about food 🤷‍♀️

Agree with this but it goes back to the policy of promoting carbs because they create " food noise" that I mentioned upthread
Dont get me wrong I love food but constantly eating after a meal, the thought of it makes me feel sick .
Its not that " im not bothered" about food, its my favourite thing but I dont have cravings or overeat .
This idea that any of us who are slim are miserable creatures who pick at lettuce is really annoying
I dont have issues with dopamine or emotional regulation, Im not chronically stressed or in poverty,Im fortunate that I have the time and money to buy, prepare and eat good food .

I sometimes think it’s the first diet you do that messes you up. If you just restrict calories heavily you lose some weight but you also lose muscle mass so your TDEE goes down slightly making it easier to regain then you do it again and lose more muscle mass and your TDEE goes down again and so on and so on. I think most people would be slimmer if they just hadn’t done that first diet and introduced a scarcity mindset and less muscle.

Also sleep, I don’t think I personally get enough sleep. Plus protein and fibre, so people who enjoy veg are probably more satiated. I do think family makes a difference, if you generally have an active environment where movement is encouraged it seems normal to you. We are a lot less sloth like since DC because we want to make sure they are getting enough exercise which means we also have to be up and out.

I have 2 stone to lose and I’m just lifting weights now to try to build some muscle. Problem is I’m bloody starving, like a black hole but I figure in the longterm it’s going to be a better strategy than trying to cut calories drastically, losing muscle mass and then trying to live on very little food ( I love food, not junk food but my portions are definitely on the bigger side).

This. My resting calories burned in a day are less than 1400 and running 10k only brings me to just under 2000 burned in a day. A gym class only brings me to about 1600.

You have to do a lot of exercise before it means you can eat a lot without gaining weight. Going by 2000 calories day day for the “average” woman just doesn’t work, many people simply don’t need that many and they will gain weight.

I have always had breakfast. A small amount of porridge with water, yogurt and nuts and seeds.

Eat slowly, don't eat for the sake of eating and stop when you're full. Snack on fruit and veg not cakes and biscuits. It's not that tricky
...

I love food and think about food a lot. I love experimenting with cooking and often day dream about what I will be making for tea that night. If I’m busy I don’t get the urge to snack but if I’m working fork home I’m often craving biscuits and chocolate etc. I try to mainly snack on fruit but the odd biscuit or chocolate is fine. I have manger to teach myself that one is enough and don’t tend to have more than that. Dinners are also mainly home cooked from scratch.

As I have also said in a previous post I’m very active. My body needs to be well fuelled so I can’t go without food but you actually need a lot less calories than many people think.

I'm active and enjoy how exercise makes me feel physically and mentally.

I am conscious of what I eat, but I don't diet. I generally eat at regular mealtimes, and I'm comfortable with feeling hungry sometimes, stopping when I'm full or skipping a meal if I'm not hungry. I do like chocolate and eat quite a bit, but I do factor it into my diet rather than having it as a snack. It helps that I also like fruit and veg.

I'm 51 now, and I do eat less than I did in my 20s; my metabolism has slowed, as everyone else's has.

I did gain 1.5 stone after both my kids; I didn't carry it well, felt very uncomfortable, and lost it quickly again, though this was not via a diet; I just got back into my usual exercise routine and eating habits, as they'd gone a bit cock-eyed through pregnancy and the first month or so after.

It's simple, albeit not easy

We eat less

I am and always have been very slim/thin, with no fat on my upper body barely at all but with some on my hips and bum. I’m 37 with two kids. I don’t know how much I weigh but clothes I’m somewhere between size 8-10 and I’m about 5”8. I never ever put on any weight. I lost my baby weight with zero effort whatsoever and my stomach is as flat as it ever has been. I eat whatever I want anytime of day. It is absolutely just my metabolism, it is not in any way anything I do and it is not something I work to maintain. I don’t do much exercise at all, except maybe a few dog walks a week and riding my e bike 5 minutes to school drop offs and pick ups.

I only ever have full fat dairy, have full cream milk in my tea and coffee, drink alcohol, love cheese, bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, fatty red meat, take out, chocolate, cake, crisps. Sadly not enough fruit and veg. But at least three meals a day with snacks. I’m not a huge fan of UPF food or sweets but other than that I love and eat as much high calorie food as I can get.

100% I think people don’t understand the role genetics play. Two people could eat the exact same things and exercise the same amount and one put on weight and one not. I think my genetics are pretty unusual considering how many people carry more weight than they’d like but I’m not the only person like this I know. Weight has become a marker of worth, whether you’re lazy or not, but ultimately people are surrounded by UPF food/high calorie food and don’t do much exercise and most people will gain weight, and a lot of people will only ever lose weight or maintain a “healthy” weight when they obsess over calories/use weight loss drugs.

Maybe one day it’ll change but maybe it won’t. To be honest I know I’m not healthy enough on the inside but at the minute I don’t have the motivation to do better and you’d never know by looking at me.

Never a free lunch, or lunches in your case Op.

I don't think you can be slim and eat out all the time and drink alcohol. Not an issue for me as I have small kids and don't get out much, but I have a friend who is super social and has recently lost two stone. She's basically replaced socialising with the gym!

These replies are all different but they are mostly people who

1. Don't eat that much

1. Exercise a lot

I think it's 90% genetics and 10% habits for people who are naturally slim.

I've always been slim, never had to work for it. I have noticed it's easier to put weight on as I get older. I don't exercise deliberately but I do walk the dog and I walk quickly compared to others.

I eat 3 meals a day and usually have a yoghurt as a snack. I don't deny myself if there are snacks in the office but I don't buy snack food so I don't snack at home.

I don't really like sandwiches so lunch is usually leftovers from the night before. I love cooking and don't eat much processed food.

My husband eats roughly the same diet as me and he finds it harder to stay slim, which is why I think it's mostly genetics. The only difference is I eat until I'm full and he will eat until the plate is cleared.

I wonder if what you consider to be loads is the same as what someone is overweight considers to be loads. It would be very interesting to do a real side by side comparison, which would be impossible on here as people over and under estimate how much they’re consuming.

I’ve never really been over weight but have been towards the upper end of my healthy weight bracket eating whatever I liked and not really doing any regular exercise. I had a very obese friend who swore she barely ate a thing. I saw her shopping being delivered and she had 3 blocks of cheese for the week. I asked her what she was making with the cheese and she said “nothing much but you can eat half a block of cheese while you’re making dinner can’t you”. She wouldnt have thought to include that in a list of what she ate that day because it was just part of the cooking process.

so I do wonder if it’s less about genetics and more about minds set. Yes, genetics will play a part, as will health conditions but essentially if you eat more calories than you burn you gain weight.