AIBU to ask how people stay slim without strict dieting?

I personally think the “you can’t outrun a bid diet” is wrong when it comes to weight. I eat whatever I want, but I still sometimes struggle to maintain my weight. I have to try and keep it from going below 60kg because I’m 6ft tall and look a bit unwell if any lighter). But I don’t drive so I walk about 20k steps per day plus I do a lot of running and spin classes. If I stopped running around I’d probably have to eat more normally.

You can change what you want by changing your habits, though

Definitely. If you stop eating things like cakes and biscuits you lose the taste for them.
I do eat them but only occasionally and when I do I have really nice ones.

Most cakes are not that nice. I'd rather not have the disappointment.

No it was the secret lives of slim people (someone linked it earlier). I did used to love that show too though!

Avoid alcohol and processed foods as far as possible

See I would say only eating 2 meals a day IS dieting.

From my experience people who are naturally thin are also naturally active, its not dedicating a certain time in the gym. It's walking as much as possible, doing stuff around the house, having hobbies like gardening. We all sit so much and that then I feel allows you to eat more as well (snacks for the TV etc). When I'm at my desk I eat more than when I'm out on site for the day.

I’m on a maintenance dose of mounjaro which keeps me in check to eat a balanced healthy diet within maintenance cals.

the only naturally slim person I know, as in someone who never works at it, is my brother in law, he’s still a 32 inch waist and over 6 foot. He eats when hungry and stops when full and if he’s not hungry won’t eat. He won’t eat for tne sake of it ie snacks, he simply and only eats when hungry and stops when full. He never over eats, he takes a portion which is a likely a recommend portion size, eats it, and that’s it. He won’t keep eating. End of. He enjoys his food, but it is just not a big deal to him. Never has been.

every single other slim person I know works at it, in terms of what they eat and their weight, or clothes size, it’s a persistent effort and thought process, he’s the only one I know where there is no thought at all into it,

My father’s genes and a small appetite. I do have a sweet tooth though. Sometimes I eat something sweet with a coffee instead of having lunch.

See I would say only eating 2 meals a day IS dieting

I wouldn’t. My husband has only eaten twice a day since I have known him.

He could do with losing a few pounds.

I think it best to meal plan a healthy set of meals for a week when you are not hungry and then stick to that

if you are hungry or grabbing things when you are hungry the pies and pastries are irresistible

if you have planned to only make one pie in a week you have better control

I do agree that if you haven’t been raised with a good diet it’s incredibly hard as your systems are set for the wrong kind of normal

See I would say only eating 2 meals a day IS dieting.

It absolutely isn't.

I've only eaten two meals a day since I was 11 years old, and I'd never even heard of dieting back then!

It's eating according to your body's needs.

Why would I force down food in the morning, when I'm never hungry until lunchtime?

Lots of walking. I don't eat bread or potatoes very often (hardly ever really) and generally eat low carb. The only food I eat between meals is one apple or a few nuts. Porridge for breakfast fills me up all morning. Ryvitas with cheese or peanut butter for lunch. Anything I like for tea, but no pudding. My weight stays the same, give or take 3lbs.

You just said it was the most unhealthy way possible?!

I exercise a lot (15km runs twice a week, regular tennis, lots of body weight resistance training at home), but it's probably genetics. A few years ago I couldn't exercise for a few months due to injury and it didn't seem to have a huge impact on my body (worse for my mental health). I don't weigh myself though, it's pretty easy to work out how healthy I feel and how satisfied I am with how I look.

I don't watch what I eat or drink at all (the reason I started exercising was so that I could carry on like that). There are certain ways in which I eat very healthily - not many processed foods, never any fizzy drinks - and certain ways in which I don't (I'll never turn down cheese or cake, I have generous portions at mealtimes if I can, I snack absent-mindedly a lot, I love to eat out). I don't pay much attention really. Frankly I don't associate food and a "good body" in my mind at all - exercise is what makes me look good.

I think "you can't outrun a bad diet" is one of the more hare-brained things I read on MN regularly. Also the mindset that obsesses over weight rather than overall health.

I want to work out how to make good pasties, I’m constantly trying to think of healthy ways to feed my children. I definitely have home made pasties on my healthy nutritious food list.

I’m not slim and I’m really struggling not to gain weight exponentially these days. But I suspect the answers are 1. genetics, 2. lack of stress, and 3. getting enough sleep. In reality it’s very difficult to get more sleep if you’re stressed, and there is no magic cure for stress. Most of us don’t choose to stay stressed, there’s just not an easy way to change it. So 3/3 are pretty much out of my control anyway!

I also think that in general being slim is a hidden privilege that most people just won’t acknowledge. I think a lot of people who have all the inner and external resources that allow them to eat well, exercise and sleep, perceive it to be their own hard work and perspicacity, and (wrongly) assume the rest of us aren’t trying hard enough. There is a huge level of prejudice against anyone non-slim, eg being stylish, elegant, intelligent etc is all tied up in people’s minds with being thin. If we’re allowed to see women over 40 on tv or in films/ads, they have to have visible collar bones (even for eg brands who have inclusive, body positive younger models). Slim people tend to do well at work and are perceived to have more self discipline and authority. But it’s just luck, IMO. And yes, some people have that good luck and also work hard at it, but without the understanding that some people just can’t - injuries, stress, life circumstances, and yes, genetics. I wish this was stated a bit more often and more plainly.

It's different for everyone though.
I've said upthread, I am under a lot of stress. I am also not getting enough sleep.
My appetite is reduced when under stress. Others comfort eat. There are complex reasons for both responses.

It surely depends on the size and content of the meals.

I think "you can't outrun a bad diet" is one of the more hare-brained things I read on MN regularly. Also the mindset that obsesses over weight rather than overall health.
Think what you like. I happen to believe it is true.

There's no way I'd want to go for a run after eating a huge stodgy meal, and the odd piece of cake doesn't make a bad diet.

I guess it depends on what you consider to be 'missing out'. If you want to eat takeaway every night and constantly snack then not doing that will be missing out in your eyes. I don't want take away every night and I enjoy eating and cooking more healthy meals as they make me feel good. I don't eat low fat, or calorie count or deny myself anything. I cook and eat ordinary meals like spaghetti Bol, pasta dishes, risotto, pies, fish, chicken dishes, etc. I will eat a biscuit with a cuppa, a takeaway every few weeks, eat in a pub or restaurant about once a fortnight, have cake if there is some on offer, have wine and crisps at the weekend while watching TV. Everything in moderation I guess.

Stepwise I do about 25 miles per week.Snackwise fruit,crackers cheese in moderation.
Sweetwise Greek yoghurt.
Harder now I'm 60 I'm a size 12 but doing ok.

Exactly.
I don't diet but I'm usually OK with just one meal a day. I don't get hungry unless I eat processed or high-GI food.

I eat what I want but I’m really active. I don’t drive so I walk everywhere, at home workouts with yoga and body weight exercises, go to the gym, indoor bouldering, go on hikes, enjoy a pint or 3 at the end, plus I love vegetables and don’t really snack at all. My legs are very strong and my calves are huge but I’m a size 8. I’ve been basically the same size since I was 12, give or take, since I’m 4’8”. I gained a lot of weight when I was drinking every day but I’ve cut down massively.

I think most people would go for the run before the meal (stodgy or otherwise).

I suppose there is a difference between an extremely bad diet of processed or stodgy food and little else, and the kind of diet that includes normal amounts of all sorts of food without any sort of calorie-counting or tracking going on. All I know is that I do the latter without paying much attention - food is a joy to me and that's it - but I'm also slim with visible abs because I exercise.