To stop trying to do nice things

HappyEnglishTeacher · 2026-09-24T18:12:36+00:00

I tutor nowadays, having taught in schools for decades - and I make a comfortable living. Due to this I always try to give something back to my community. This year I offered FREE lessons for children who needed to resit their English GCSE ( including advertising the fact here on Mumsnet) I had zero response. This week I've been trying to set up an online group for children taking a new style 11+. I'm offering it for £8 If you can afford - otherwise pay what you can or don't pay at all. This group will probably take around 5 hours of planning and admin each week for a 45 minute session. I've had one single person sign up. I don't get it. I have no shortage of students for my regular lessons which cost between £50 and £65 - yet nobody is interested in anything more affordable. In fact today I've had one man make vile comments on my FB ad calling me a scammer and others giving me angry face reactions. Am I stupid for trying to do something nice?

TruffleSlinky · 24/09/2026 19:15

It's sad but I do think people tend to be suspicious of something that sounds "too good to be true" and assume there must be a catch. I'm sure that once your classes are up and running you'll get pupils by word of mouth.

ToastyToes101 · 24/09/2026 19:16

Honestly, people probably think if it's free, it must be rubbish, or there must be a catch (obviously neither apply in this case, but I would probably also be wary). People aren't usually that generous for no good reason!

How do you word the adverts? Is it obvious you are also a paid tutor and you're doing a few "pro bono" sessions?

nomoreraintoday · 24/09/2026 19:17

I would probably assume that something was ‘free’ because I would get hit with the hard sell after

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:26

TruffleSlinky · 24/09/2026 19:15

It's sad but I do think people tend to be suspicious of something that sounds "too good to be true" and assume there must be a catch. I'm sure that once your classes are up and running you'll get pupils by word of mouth.

I just don't think they'll get off the ground at this rate. 😂 I know I should have a thicker skin, but I was quite upset by being called a scammer when the ad had my picture on, my mobile number and my profile links to my web page. So even the briefest check would show anyone that I'm established and legitimate. I've even paid to advertise this group and have got flyers printed to put up in shops locally.

I'm going to keep trying because I do think it's a nice thing to do - but how awful that everyone's so cynical

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Justaquestionplease · 24/09/2026 19:28

I'm always suspicious at offers of free anything...I assume there's a catch.

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:29

ToastyToes101 · 24/09/2026 19:16

Honestly, people probably think if it's free, it must be rubbish, or there must be a catch (obviously neither apply in this case, but I would probably also be wary). People aren't usually that generous for no good reason!

How do you word the adverts? Is it obvious you are also a paid tutor and you're doing a few "pro bono" sessions?

I need to think about how I'm representing myself maybe. The ad itself just talks about the class and there's a preamble about where I live and that I teach from home and online and that this is a virtual class to try to make it very accessible for all local kids.

Perhaps you're right though and it's not clear that this is about giving something back. I'll look at it through different eyes and try to improve. Thank you!

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Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:32

nomoreraintoday · 24/09/2026 19:17

I would probably assume that something was ‘free’ because I would get hit with the hard sell after

I hadn't thought about that. What would make you react more favourably? A set price on the low side - say £15 or £20 rather than a pay what you can?

I can absolutely see your logic to be fair. I wonder if there's a different way I could phrase it so that people could see it's genuine and there's honestly no catch.

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Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:38

Justaquestionplease · 24/09/2026 19:28

I'm always suspicious at offers of free anything...I assume there's a catch.

Thank you. I'm going to rethink how I market this. I need a new advert clearly! 😊

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5128gap · 24/09/2026 19:39

Agree with other posters. People are suspicious. You might do better to go through a 'bridge', a trusted agency or group already working with families in your area that can link you up with people who need your help. If you have a council for voluntary services in your area that would be a good place to start. Dont be put off doing nice things! What you're offering could make such a difference.

shhblackbag · 24/09/2026 19:44

I wouldn't offer anything for free. People either think it's a scam or take the piss because if it's free it can't be that time consuming, etc.

lechatdhenri · 24/09/2026 19:50

I find pay what you can awkward because I don’t know what’s fair or expected. A lower fixed price would probably attract more people. I would also make it clear that this is a community initiative you’re offering and there will be no upselling.

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:50

5128gap · 24/09/2026 19:39

Agree with other posters. People are suspicious. You might do better to go through a 'bridge', a trusted agency or group already working with families in your area that can link you up with people who need your help. If you have a council for voluntary services in your area that would be a good place to start. Dont be put off doing nice things! What you're offering could make such a difference.

Thank you for the advice. You've given me a couple of ideas. Firstly I could contact the primary schools around me and make them aware of free/pay what you can classes for 11+. There are often initiatives for children in receipt of PP ( particularly in terms of grammar school entry) so that might be a way. Additionally, a "bridge" agency like you suggest sounds positive too. I know that one of my local community centres has an outreach programme, I'll contact them and see if we can liaise on this. 👍

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Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:53

lechatdhenri · 24/09/2026 19:50

I find pay what you can awkward because I don’t know what’s fair or expected. A lower fixed price would probably attract more people. I would also make it clear that this is a community initiative you’re offering and there will be no upselling.

I had thought of offering it as 'buy me a coffee', but I wondered if that sounded too informal for what will honestly be a really top notch course for kids. That's why I settled on £8 or .... I figured that if people were comfortable paying it was a nominal sum, but if they weren't then there was no pressure. It's very useful to get these perspectives, thank you

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Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:56

shhblackbag · 24/09/2026 19:44

I wouldn't offer anything for free. People either think it's a scam or take the piss because if it's free it can't be that time consuming, etc.

I hear you. Perhaps the way round it is to produce content and post it on YouTube or Tiktok then it's free for everyone. I would find that excruciatingly difficult though being an old fogey! 😂

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PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2026 20:09

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 19:56

I hear you. Perhaps the way round it is to produce content and post it on YouTube or Tiktok then it's free for everyone. I would find that excruciatingly difficult though being an old fogey! 😂

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But if it takes off, would probably make you more money than the tutoring would.

I would find it very difficult to not reply to the comments along the lines of "I am so sad that people assume that because I am offering to help kids who are struggling with their studies, I must be a scammer. Its such a shame that trying to help those who may not be able to afford my usual fees is seen in this way. It really is a truism that no good need goes unpunished."

Araminta1004 · 24/09/2026 20:12

Just tutor your normal rate and give the money to charity? Or volunteer in an actual school?

I am tutoring my next door neighbour’s child. I have no tutoring qualifications, just got my 4 DC into grammar schools. In fact DD2 was tutoring neighbour’s child previously for a cheap rate but is now to busy with her A levels so I took over for free. Neighbour is doing part of my garden in return whilst I am “tutoring” on Saturday mornings.

GoldMerchant · 24/09/2026 20:13

I wouldn't worry about one rude person on Facebook. You never know who is also a tutor/family of tutor and thinks you're trying to undercut them or whatever.

I agree that "pay what you can" is always really awkward. I never know if I'm over or under offering. I also think a lot of people exclude themselves from things aimed at people who can't afford full price because they feel they aren't needy enough or because they are ashamed of needing it (it's why non means tested schemes often work out better value for money and reach the more of the people they are intended to).

Personally, I'd offer tutoring at different set price points: say, £50 for a private less, £25 for a paired session, and £8 for a group of up to five-six, and say that these princes will remain set until July 2027 or whenever. And then you could say something like, "I keep 2-3 group places available for families who cannot afford to pay. You do not have to be in receipt of any particular benefits and no questions will be asked. [or however you want to aim it] Please contact me for further details." And yes, I'd put all this on your website and flag to local schools.

I wonder if you could also offer a lunchtime session to a local school and ask them to select 5 or 6 children they think would benefit. Maybe they wouldn't be able to do this (and you'd risk giving extra tuition to children whose parents could pay). But I remember being put forward for similar stuff as a bright child whose parents didn't have a lot of money.

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 20:29

Araminta1004 · 24/09/2026 20:12

Just tutor your normal rate and give the money to charity? Or volunteer in an actual school?

I am tutoring my next door neighbour’s child. I have no tutoring qualifications, just got my 4 DC into grammar schools. In fact DD2 was tutoring neighbour’s child previously for a cheap rate but is now to busy with her A levels so I took over for free. Neighbour is doing part of my garden in return whilst I am “tutoring” on Saturday mornings.

Yes, I support local charities with a percentage of my tutoring income and I'm very happy to keep doing this. I suppose my thinking here was about letting a greater number of local kids receive tuition due this new style test. It's not GL, so you can't buy books, there are no past papers to look at or buy and it's FSCE who will create a bespoke test for my area. The test will be next July instead of next September and FSCE hasn't yet even released the actual content or format. This leaves even the most well-resourced kids at a disadvantage, let alone the least.

I've taught FS content before though and know that there's going to be a swing towards inferential reasoning, foundation subjects and "cultural capital" (which runs contrary to their espoused aims, but that's another matter.)

So I thought I was uniquely placed to do something very local and very specific to help kids aim for Grammar

You're right in so far as there are many, many ways of giving back and volunteering - this was one that was close to my heart though. 😊

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Merrybandofpirates · 24/09/2026 20:35

Have you tried just going into the schools and asking them to give flyers to the pupil premium kids or send out a notice in their school portal?

I think unfortunately you might be hitting that wall of kids from disadvantaged homes stereotypically have parents who are less involved, or single parents who have less time to spend looking for these things and think they might get scammed etc.

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 20:37

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/09/2026 20:09

But if it takes off, would probably make you more money than the tutoring would.

I would find it very difficult to not reply to the comments along the lines of "I am so sad that people assume that because I am offering to help kids who are struggling with their studies, I must be a scammer. Its such a shame that trying to help those who may not be able to afford my usual fees is seen in this way. It really is a truism that no good need goes unpunished."

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I don't know how people teach lessons into the void on SM platforms. If I took off I'd be because of my comedy value probably! 😂 But I should try because you have to keep pushing out of comfort zone etc.

I answered that snarky man on FB inviting him to look at my qualifications, website, Bark profile, reviews and GCSE exam marking credentials. I also said next time he was in my home town he was welcome to pop round for a brew, meet me and apologise in person. He deleted his message and blocked me. So that's one small victory I suppose.😁

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Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 20:43

Merrybandofpirates · 24/09/2026 20:35

Have you tried just going into the schools and asking them to give flyers to the pupil premium kids or send out a notice in their school portal?

I think unfortunately you might be hitting that wall of kids from disadvantaged homes stereotypically have parents who are less involved, or single parents who have less time to spend looking for these things and think they might get scammed etc.

My son's music teacher is putting my flyers up in the schools she teaches at (she asked me if she could, not the other way around.) and I have current parents sharing my ad on their school WhatsApp groups.

I really like your idea as well of asking schools to collaborate. They would have a better chance of reaching the families that I'd like to. As I said in a previous thread - it's a known thing to have free tuition for PP children in Reading, where FSCE originated - but there's nothing local so far as I'm aware.

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TheAmazingShrinkingWoman · 24/09/2026 20:47

Contact the pastoral support teams of all your local schools. They will know who will benefit. We often get contacted about free goods and services for children in receipt of PP. We have the existing relationships to get them to the right families.

pinkdyno · 24/09/2026 20:48

Merrybandofpirates · 24/09/2026 20:35

Have you tried just going into the schools and asking them to give flyers to the pupil premium kids or send out a notice in their school portal?

I think unfortunately you might be hitting that wall of kids from disadvantaged homes stereotypically have parents who are less involved, or single parents who have less time to spend looking for these things and think they might get scammed etc.

Totally agree. Get into schools and do it there. Target local authorities and head teachers.

Original poster

HappyEnglishTeacher · 24/09/2026 20:51

@GoldMerchant

Thank you very much. I like the suggestions you've made about the small groups' extra places and how to word that provision so people might feel more able to participate

I do another thing whereby one student a month "wins" a free lesson by trying extra hard, or contributing more than usual etc so that parents who I know are really struggling can get a break that way too.

There's no reason at all I couldn't do a lunchtime group either. It hasn't occurred to me, so I'll explore that definitely. 👍

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stripesandspotsanddots · 24/09/2026 20:52

What a lovely initiative, OP! I work in a similar field and very few people given something back, let alone in the thoughtful way you are. Best of luck with it.