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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

278 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:56

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:47

Absolutely definitely no long lunches! We have to clock in and out. Someone else in the office was a little over their lunch time and got raked over the coals for it! Hideous.

I am job hunting but until I find a new one, I have 2 options - quite, or keep working there.

I don't know what the other PMs are doing, surfing the net I presume? Sending extremely long and detailed emails that take longer to write , read and respond to than the meeting they replace?

When does your probation end?

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:57

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 20:56

When does your probation end?

Next month.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:22

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:57

Next month.

I can’t see why you’d stay if
you don’t need the money
you are very likely going to fail

so why would you?

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:23

If anything - this must be so incredibly boring!

Jk987 · 24/09/2026 21:29

I’ve heard it all now. An office that doesn’t allow Teams calls!

Megamegablahblah · 24/09/2026 21:36

It sounds like they did not want to continue your role being WFH.

You have the right to be firm about your WFH day as that is your contract.

You could request a WFH contract but that might involve a salary drop to remove any Head Office weighting added to the salary.

Is your job actually doable with 4 days in the office and 1 day WFH and not being able to have the meetings you need in the office? If not then it sounds like the job has not met your expectations. If you have tried to find a solution but they won't budge, then I think your only option is to look for something else. It is batshit really but no one seems to care about wasted resources anymore.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:38

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:22

I can’t see why you’d stay if
you don’t need the money
you are very likely going to fail

so why would you?

I've no reason to think I'll fail - my manager is only saying positive things, no concerns about my work have been flagged in our 1:1s.

I do know they can just get rid of me, but I don't know why they wouldn't have done it before now.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:42

Megamegablahblah · 24/09/2026 21:36

It sounds like they did not want to continue your role being WFH.

You have the right to be firm about your WFH day as that is your contract.

You could request a WFH contract but that might involve a salary drop to remove any Head Office weighting added to the salary.

Is your job actually doable with 4 days in the office and 1 day WFH and not being able to have the meetings you need in the office? If not then it sounds like the job has not met your expectations. If you have tried to find a solution but they won't budge, then I think your only option is to look for something else. It is batshit really but no one seems to care about wasted resources anymore.

I don't think it's doable if I can't take calls from the office. I don't think I can cram all calls in to one day a week, but even if I could, I'm not getting that 1 day at home.

They will not given the PMs WFH contracts regardless of salary. They want them in the office. I'm fine being office based, IF I could take calls.

OP posts:
WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/09/2026 21:48

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 19:00

5 PMs have been doing very little for 3 months and the business hasn’t noticed?

Why don't you just come out and say what you're attempting to be snide about, and stop badgering the OP with stupid comments?

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:51

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:42

I don't think it's doable if I can't take calls from the office. I don't think I can cram all calls in to one day a week, but even if I could, I'm not getting that 1 day at home.

They will not given the PMs WFH contracts regardless of salary. They want them in the office. I'm fine being office based, IF I could take calls.

Wrong quote

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:51

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:38

I've no reason to think I'll fail - my manager is only saying positive things, no concerns about my work have been flagged in our 1:1s.

I do know they can just get rid of me, but I don't know why they wouldn't have done it before now.

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

Only a month left. I don't see how I can pass it.

my inevitable firing

but you don’t think you won’t pass?

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:52

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/09/2026 21:48

Why don't you just come out and say what you're attempting to be snide about, and stop badgering the OP with stupid comments?

I have been pretty clear

hence my advice, especially is money not an issue, jump before pushed

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:59

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:51

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

Only a month left. I don't see how I can pass it.

my inevitable firing

but you don’t think you won’t pass?

My manager isn't raising any concerns but I can't actually do my job effectively, so I can't see how I could pass. I don't know how anyone could pass in these circumstances. But equally they aren't giving me negative/ constructive feedback and when I've asked specifically been told I'm "doing well in a challenging team".

The metrics are really clear, velocity has tanked, bugs are up, time taken for tickets has increased, tickets failing testing has increased, features failing sign off has increased and releases have slowed. Not since I've been there (it's remained steady) but since PMs have been on a calls embargo. I doubt COO looks at those metrics though, or even knows they exist, he isn't involved in the tech side beyond making feature requests and then signing them off.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:59

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:52

I have been pretty clear

hence my advice, especially is money not an issue, jump before pushed

No, you haven't been clear with what you think the issue is.

OP posts:
Blueroses99 · 24/09/2026 22:05

Seems horrendously inefficient to be listening to recordings of calls. Would there be any objection to joining Teams calls to listen in live but without talking? Although that in itself is a ridiculous way of working so I think you’re better off out of there.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/09/2026 22:06

Bellesbest · 24/09/2026 21:52

I have been pretty clear

hence my advice, especially is money not an issue, jump before pushed

Are you Rumbleafteryog?

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/09/2026 22:10

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:59

No, you haven't been clear with what you think the issue is.

There are a lot of dinosaurs people on MN who despise working from home and want everybody in the office. I think you've attracted one of them.

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 22:11

Blueroses99 · 24/09/2026 22:05

Seems horrendously inefficient to be listening to recordings of calls. Would there be any objection to joining Teams calls to listen in live but without talking? Although that in itself is a ridiculous way of working so I think you’re better off out of there.

Yes, there is objection to that (no idea why just "NO calls in the office"). I've reluctantly been given permission to listen to recordings. Yes, it's incredibly inefficient and ineffective.

I will be leaving. The only decision is whether to keep working there until I get fired/ find another job or just quit now. I think I'm going stay, financially it makes most sense but at least I can rage quit if needed!

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 22:13

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/09/2026 22:10

There are a lot of dinosaurs people on MN who despise working from home and want everybody in the office. I think you've attracted one of them.

If they had even a modicum of comprehension skills they'd be able to see that nit being able to WFH is not the issue here!

I haven't even suggested I work from home so I can take calls. Apart from clarify once the WFH agreement, I haven't questioned it. I don't give a shit about being office based.

OP posts:
Bellesbest · 25/09/2026 06:34

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 21:59

No, you haven't been clear with what you think the issue is.

I have been very clear.

This has been the status quo for 3 months and the 5 other permanent employee PMs have been twiddling their thumbs and kicking back uncomplaining.
You join and start questioning, requesting, pushing. The boss thinks WTF - I have 5 other PMs who haven’t been complaining or saying anything and now I’m being bothered multiple times by this newbie.

I can see why he’s confused. No doubt he has consulted the other PMs and perhaps they have said, no issue. Who knows.

My point is you age entirely alone in this. Your 5 equivalents are silent. Your line manager is silent. So yeah - jump before pushed. I can’t understand why you wouldn’t given money isn’t an issue and your DH is wholly supportive.

i can’t really be more clear?

Bellesbest · 25/09/2026 06:35

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 22:13

If they had even a modicum of comprehension skills they'd be able to see that nit being able to WFH is not the issue here!

I haven't even suggested I work from home so I can take calls. Apart from clarify once the WFH agreement, I haven't questioned it. I don't give a shit about being office based.

So if WFH isn’t the issue… why mention the fact you haven’t been able to have your 1/5 WFH day?

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/09/2026 06:43

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:49

The one day I did work from home I did that. The next time I was supposed to WFH I was told I was needed in the office for a meeting and I needed to rearrange my calls (to when exactly I am not sure!). The meeting never materialised.

Ib this case I'd have said sure, I'll WFH on x day instead this week to speak to my team.

Bellesbest · 25/09/2026 06:44

Working one day a week from home isn’t remotely going to cover all the extensive calls you say you need to make so I’d forget about the wfh issue entirely

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/09/2026 06:44

Bellesbest · 25/09/2026 06:35

So if WFH isn’t the issue… why mention the fact you haven’t been able to have your 1/5 WFH day?

Edited

Oh. Yeh I totally thought it was to WFH cause op can't do the meetings with her team.
Wtf!

SnapAndTap · 25/09/2026 06:53

What is the commute like?
Could you work mornings from home, then come into the office each afternoon? Would be a ballache on the commuting, but might give term the presenterism they seem to want.

Id quit before failing probation.

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