AIBU not to reduce my children’s Christmas presents to match stepchildren’s?

That wouldn't solve the issue of more money being spent - it would just delay the conversation. It feels like OPs children have drawn the short straw in this arrangment. Why should they have to wait to get some of their presents, instead of opening them in the morning like they're used to? OP are you married? You don't sound like a blended family, you are two families under one roof.

have a blended family. This is the first Christmas we will all be together on Christmas morning. I have 3 children, my DP has 2. Generally we still take control of our own children’s presents at Christmas. As money wise it’s a bit tight if I were to add 2 more children I need to buy for.
I usually spend X amount for each of my children which is what I can afford. That includes stockings and Christmas Eve boxes. This year is also the first year they’ll be here for Christmas Eve. My DP doesn’t usually do boxes so I will get an extra 2 for them so they’re not left out. But for presents he also spends X amount on them each which is around half the amount of what I spend. He can’t really afford to spend more and says I should reduce what I spend on my kids so it’s equal. AIBU if I don’t do that?
I feel that my kids shouldn’t have less than what they’re used to, but also can see that it won’t look great if his kids have less to open. But for me, I have my kids 100% of the time. My DPs kids will go to their mums later in the day and get presents there too, so I feel it’s unfair for my children to get less when generally over all they get less anyway.
Moving in together hasn’t saved us money as obviously we needed a bigger house which costs a lot more to run. 2 of my kids share a bedroom, everyone else has their own room even though his kids are here less than half the time. But I agreed with that as they’re older. But I don’t want my kids to have less of everything to accommodate my step kids all the time when actually their maternal family spoil them so they’re not really missing out. But I know kids probably won’t see it that way. What would you do?
I don’t begrudge my step kids in any way, they’re lovely kids. But I am a sole parent to mine effectively and feel I need to prioritise them. My DP understands this but says to his kids it will look like WE have spent less on them as obviously the kids don’t know that we keep things separate. Previous years they’ve opened presents separately so hasn’t been an issue.

How would you feel if he had loads of money and his kids had much more at Xmas and your kids didn't get much? Would you think that was ok for your kids??
Your step kids will remember this

" ... as a step child myself, I can say 100% I would have been very upset if I'd woken up on Christmas morning and my step siblings had more gifts from our parents than I did."

What do you mean "our parents"? You would have had X from your dad and step-mum plus X from your mum in the OP scenario.

How would you feel if he had loads of money and his kids had much more at Xmas and your kids didn't get much? Would you think that was ok for your kids??
Your step kids will remember this

When did this Christmas Eve box farce start???

Give your kids some of their presents in the morning and save some for later when your step-children go to their Mum’s?

Your kids will get the amount they’re used to in total, but in the morning it’ll seem more equal across the kids.

Well if your dp's kids actually get way more spent on them over all, it's not a problem, is it? If the kids say anything about it, just say, yeah, but Francis and Angelica are getting presents from their mom later. Everyone can understand that.

Lots of people have suggested that you spread your kids' gifts out and give them some layer, after the older kids have left. You don't seem to be engaging with this, but surely it's the perfect solution. Make sure everyone has the same number of gifts to open in the morning, and then your DC get their other gifts later. It doesn't have to be a secret - you can be quite open about it - it just avoids the whole time lag thing where the older ones have to sit watching the younger ones open stuff.

Also, are kids really that adept at quickly pricing up everything that has been spent? Most parents take advantage of price cuts and deals and so forth around Xmas, so I assume it won't be completely obvious exactly what you have spent on everyone.

Just see how many gifts your partner gets his kids, let yours open that same number in the morning, give them the rest later.

£300 is quite a lot to spend on kids as young as yours (not judging at all, just observing) so the amount they will be getting is better spread out anyway, or it can be overwhelming and they don't enjoy it as much.

But it’s my DPs kids that have requested it, not us. Not in a horrible way but we were happy with the arrangement that they come to us later in the day before to avoid this. But it’s already been agreed and their mum who has said she’ll work in the morning now.
But yes I agree, some kids would be like this. Not all though. My oldest I believe would completely understand. He understands why they have their own room and he has to share. And I always have to explain to him that they get more already because of their mum. As the 12 year old loves to talk about how much she gets from her mum etc. For example last year she got an iPad along with I’d say another 2-300 spent on her and that was just from her mum. So actually I think it would be quite sad for DPs kids not to understand why my kids have more presents than they do here. But that’s helpful to know and adds to my problem as I believe she will be like how you felt. The oldest I believe would be fine.

Thank you for this. Since a lot of posters think I’m being absolutely horrible for even considering not spending the same. I know blended families get a lot of hate on here and I don’t know why, especially when you don’t know us. You’re saying every single parent can’t ever live with someone again.
To all those people, yes there will always be inequalities within blended families, that’s just how it is. You just need to try and make sure it doesn’t impact on the kids. Even if we lived separately it would still be unequal in some areas. They just possibly wouldn’t know.
And actually 2 of my kids shared a bedroom before we lived together. I would love for them to have their own room but it’s not possible right now. My aim is that they will before high school. His kids are 14 and 12. And different sexes. So they can’t really share. My kids are 5,6 and 8. So quite a big age gap. And they all get on really well actually and they love being here the most when everyone’s here. His kids only want to be here this Christmas because of the other kids.
So for the suggestion that we should just move into separate houses, not helpful! And the kids would hate that actually.
Not sure why money matters. But ok. I spend about £300 on each of mine. I don’t get the hate for why he doesn’t spend more either. That’s just not his values. He doesn’t believe that Christmas should be about gifts and hasn’t grown up like that. And he’s right when he says kids just end up with a lot of toys that just get lost or go unused after a few days. But their mum spends way more than me so they’re definitely not missing out.
Anyway, a lot of mixed opinions so not a very helpful thread. With some assumptions thrown in there about choosing my sex life over my kids! Based on this one question I have. So judgy and unnecessary but ok.

When did this Christmas Eve box farce start???

Thank you for this. Since a lot of posters think I’m being absolutely horrible for even considering not spending the same. I know blended families get a lot of hate on here and I don’t know why, especially when you don’t know us. You’re saying every single parent can’t ever live with someone again.
To all those people, yes there will always be inequalities within blended families, that’s just how it is. You just need to try and make sure it doesn’t impact on the kids. Even if we lived separately it would still be unequal in some areas. They just possibly wouldn’t know.
And actually 2 of my kids shared a bedroom before we lived together. I would love for them to have their own room but it’s not possible right now. My aim is that they will before high school. His kids are 14 and 12. And different sexes. So they can’t really share. My kids are 5,6 and 8. So quite a big age gap. And they all get on really well actually and they love being here the most when everyone’s here. His kids only want to be here this Christmas because of the other kids.
So for the suggestion that we should just move into separate houses, not helpful! And the kids would hate that actually.
Not sure why money matters. But ok. I spend about £300 on each of mine. I don’t get the hate for why he doesn’t spend more either. That’s just not his values. He doesn’t believe that Christmas should be about gifts and hasn’t grown up like that. And he’s right when he says kids just end up with a lot of toys that just get lost or go unused after a few days. But their mum spends way more than me so they’re definitely not missing out.
Anyway, a lot of mixed opinions so not a very helpful thread. With some assumptions thrown in there about choosing my sex life over my kids! Based on this one question I have. So judgy and unnecessary but ok.