AIBU not to reduce my children’s Christmas presents to match stepchildren’s?

“But yes I probably could budget better. But irrelevant as that’s what I’ve always done”

Just because it’s what you’ve always done doesn’t mean you have to continue!

Your children are definitely young enough not to realise you haven’t spent the same or the pile is not as massive as previous years. It would probably be less overwhelming for them to not have such a huge pile of presents and definitely better for the planet (you’ve admitted many are thrown away after a few months, another indication that they don’t actually value the things you’ve got them).

Why don’t you cut your £300 per child budget down to £150 and put the other £150 in savings for them? This would build up to a significant amount if you did it every year and they’d really appreciate that when they’re older and need driving lessons/want to travel the world or similar. Far better than money wasted on a huge pile of toys that they’re not bothered about within months.

When did I say I don’t care that my SC could be hurt? If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be posting on here. I would just do what I wanted regardless! I’m very aware of how their feelings could be hurt hence wanting to find a solution that I’m also happy with. Because I also care about my own kids! Not sure what’s wrong with that. And I never said I wouldn’t consider giving presents later on. I’m still reading through all the comments. But if you need validation, that is a good suggestion. (Not sure why it has to come with a dig) I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of it. So thank you to everyone who suggested that.
I could go to my parents later but my SC aren’t going until 3pm. My DP will be back home around 4pm. So we had planned to go straight there as that will only give us a couple of hours there anyway. So going later will just be really rushed. So I wasn’t being rude by not immediately saying that’s a great idea. As I said, I’m just thinking about it.
But the other points in your post, you’re absolutely right. I don’t want to do those things.

@Retro12really? I only ever hear negative stories. I've refused to do it in my own relationship (3 years) to protect the kids' interests

Whyyyyy blend a family. It's not fair on the kids.

Thank you for all the helpful suggestions. I will put presents aside for Boxing Day. The reluctance was more my 8 year old questioning things if they’re different. He’s so so clever but maybe it’s just him starting to realise there is no Santa. I thought I had a couple more years!

Aren’t you a delight. There are also kids in non blended families who have no control over living in a horrible environment because actually their parents don’t get on. Or parents are secretly miserable but staying for the kids (which I guarantee a lot of kids pick up on). You have no right to judge every single blended family and put it all down to bad parenting because an adult dares introduce their kids to another adult. And how dare I enter into another relationship. Whilst people on here might not agree with how my family does things, I believe we are happier than some families out there where parents are still together. There’s something really wrong with people who feel the need to attack something I didn’t ask your opinion on. And without any knowledge of my life. My kids love having my DP and his kids around. And vice versa. We wouldn’t be living together if that wasn’t the case. We didn’t just wake up one day and decide to live together.

including stockings and a Xmas eve box I don’t think that’s too excessive. But yes I probably could budget better. But irrelevant as that’s what I’ve always done. And completely different to being able to afford a 6 bed house! If I spent £100 less on them each, would that £300 a year saved buy me a bigger house?!
@Ted27 no his children probably aren’t getting many toys. I think my DP means me (and people in general) spending a lot of money on young kids is unnecessary. His kids obviously want say a pair of trainers that are like £100. So their pile will already be significantly smaller. So even if he matched my budget, unless he was buying ‘tat’ it wouldn’t get them much more anyway. But it’s not about the pile, it’s the money spent. His kids will know as the youngest mainly likes to compare. That’s the only thing I don’t really like but at the same time I don’t want them feeling a certain way that others have said they will.
But despite the responses I still feel my kids shouldn’t get less so that we can buy them more. If they didn’t go to their mums then yes absolutely. So it’s more the how I do that. My DP isn’t horrible, it was more of a suggestion but he is genuinely worried about how it will look. I think he still feels a bit bad that he lives with other children and doesn’t see his all the time (not a reason for more hate for blended families btw)
I could hold some presents back, just feels it ruins the ‘magic’ of Christmas’. Plus after his kids go we will be going to my parents house who are also not into presents really so they spend maybe £20-£30 max on them each. But they do have 10 grandchildren so understandable! Not sure I want the faff of taking the presents there so it would have to be a different day in that case

Given the amount of blended families these days I don’t think that’s true at all!

Why is it a farce?

Don't do it myself, but that's true of a lot of things and doesn't instantly render them farcical. I guess it spreads the excitement a bit, which probably is fun for the kids and perhaps their parents too? Doesn't seem to hurt anyone. And OP seems to factor it into her Xmas spending generally, so it's not increasing consumerism or debt in her case.

There’s no point trying to equalise spending on a 5y old with spending on a 14y old. That wouldn’t happen even if they were full siblings with both parents living together!

My point about equalising spending on children across the board wasn’t that your children should/ would get less or that your stepchildren should give up an activity, it was that at the moment your household spends a total of (if I calculated correctly!) £7,680 per year on activities and Christmas gifts; £860 for each of your children and £2,550 for each of his. Spending on his children is higher so if he wants you to equalise the Christmas spending to make it ‘fairer’ he should be offering to equalise the activity (and any other) spending to make that ‘fairer’ too. If he’s happy to have different levels of spending on activities he should also understand there will be different levels of spending on gifts and other things.