Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas leave priority

1000 replies

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 14:23

We have had an email today stating that Christmas leave will be prioritised in the following way:

  1. people with children under 7
  2. people with grandchildren under 7
  3. people with children over 7
  4. people with grandchildren over 7
  5. everyone else

AIBU to think this is utterly ridiculous? I am my parents’ child, I would like to see them over Christmas. We only get the bank holiday days off and work on Christmas Eve so if I don’t get leave I won’t see family until the 26th.

It should be first come first served

OP posts:
Awkwardisfunny · 23/09/2026 15:36

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 14:23

We have had an email today stating that Christmas leave will be prioritised in the following way:

  1. people with children under 7
  2. people with grandchildren under 7
  3. people with children over 7
  4. people with grandchildren over 7
  5. everyone else

AIBU to think this is utterly ridiculous? I am my parents’ child, I would like to see them over Christmas. We only get the bank holiday days off and work on Christmas Eve so if I don’t get leave I won’t see family until the 26th.

It should be first come first served

Yes, that's discrimination. Pure and simple. Push back against that.

It's also religious discrimination. Absolutely no one should have priority. And if anyone, then possibly religious people who don't celebrate it should be last e.g. Jehovah's Witnesses and Muslims to start.

Dancingsquirrels · 23/09/2026 15:36

That's a terrible policy!

But first come first served isn't fair either as some people would snap up all the dates as soon as they're released

Nearly50omg · 23/09/2026 15:37

That is ILLEGAL!!!!!!!

Gengha · 23/09/2026 15:37

NoKnit · 23/09/2026 14:26

I don't think that is fair but I also don't think first come first served is either.

The fairest way is if it is rotated every year and one person who worked last year gets leave this year and vice versa

This

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 15:37

So much misinformation about discrimination 🤣

Olive123456 · 23/09/2026 15:37

OnlyUsername · 23/09/2026 14:47

I think single parents/parents where the other adult works shifts or works Christmas should be prioritised as there is little paid childcare for those 2 weeks (private nurseries close here and they don't run holiday clubs). After that - first come first served.

Other peoples childcare issues are not my problem.

NopeNotThat · 23/09/2026 15:37

Equally, you stay in the job knowing the leave conditions.

I dont agree with how they've allocated it, but your point is easily countered.

Awkwardisfunny · 23/09/2026 15:38

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 14:23

We have had an email today stating that Christmas leave will be prioritised in the following way:

  1. people with children under 7
  2. people with grandchildren under 7
  3. people with children over 7
  4. people with grandchildren over 7
  5. everyone else

AIBU to think this is utterly ridiculous? I am my parents’ child, I would like to see them over Christmas. We only get the bank holiday days off and work on Christmas Eve so if I don’t get leave I won’t see family until the 26th.

It should be first come first served

Also, just start telling employers you have kids. Not that they should even be allowed to ask because it's discrimination, but if everyone says they have kids, then they can't discriminate.

This isn't like asking who to prioritise on a lifeboat, we're talking about working X hours on a particular day!!

MysteryParcel · 23/09/2026 15:39

putmeonthebackburner · 23/09/2026 14:46

Yeah I don’t think not having children is a protected characteristic?

Become a Christian and then claim religious discrimination, funny how that’s not listed as a priority.

runnerducky · 23/09/2026 15:39

Very unreasonable. We take turns as we have jobs that operate over Christmas and NY. Usually we have a decent split of people who want one or the other but if not, if you had Christmas off the previous year then you’ll be asked to work it that year, for example.

JustAnotherWhinger · 23/09/2026 15:40

I’d love to know how they are going to check that people have a relationship with their children or grandchildren.

According to that list my DN’s father would be priority 1 and my parents would have been priority 2 . Yet DN’s father has never met him and I wouldn’t have allowed my parents anywhere near my children in a month of Sundays.

Yet my SIL, who can’t have children because of a medical mistake, who spends every weekend around her nieces and nephews would get no priority.

Megifer · 23/09/2026 15:40

To those saying this is discrimination - what protected characteristic do you think is being discriminated against?

x2boys · 23/09/2026 15:40

Teacaketravesty · 23/09/2026 15:30

We are all answering this from the pov of the adult workers and not of the children. I’ve covered Xmas shifts for colleagues because their children wanted their parents there, or needed them, if no dad about. It isn’t that I didn’t matter pre-kids, it wasn’t about me or the colleagues themselves, it was about not wanting to live in a society that doesn’t prioritise children/is very individualistic. For full disclosure though, I’ve had the BHs off for years now, and though I have to travel to see family we look at Christmas as a couple of weeks-long so it’s less stressful. We find alternative dates when we can get together.

Thats your choice
Would you like to work every xmas for the rest of your working life if you didnt have chiildren so those with children can be prioritised ?

ToddlerFun1234 · 23/09/2026 15:40

Of course people with very small children should be prioritised. Once you have children yourself, you will understand the very, very real issues that come with childcare over periods like Christmas. It's really not just about the "magic" of Christmas.

Yes, people know the leave requirements before taking a job. But unless the business is prepared to ONLY hire childfree people, then they need to make allowances. The business/NHS/whatever organisation this is, would be in real trouble if all these people resigned from these jobs. And presumably they value these employees, so they need to keep them.

The grandchildren part is ridiculuous.

RowsOfFlowers · 23/09/2026 15:40

That’s super discriminatory- and I’ve never heard of grandparents being prioritised!!!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/09/2026 15:41

JudgeJ · 23/09/2026 14:50

Why does breeding make you special? Why 11, why not 25 as there are those who claim adulthood starts then? Parents get a lot of concessions in employment just because they choose to breed.

I think the idea is that it is for the children’s benefit, not the working adult!

I don’t think parents should automatically get priority as I’ve said up thread but I think that’s the thinking

Gengha · 23/09/2026 15:41

It is a very strange priority system. As far as I can see you are off the bank holidays anyway. So why do parents with 6 year olds need say the 27th off more than someone with a 9 year old? If it was to let people spend actual Christmas Day with young kids I might understand it more (although still wouldn’t agree) or for primary aged and younger children on other days due to nurseries etc may be being shut (again still would seem batshit) but this is just really strange

RowsOfFlowers · 23/09/2026 15:42

ToddlerFun1234 · 23/09/2026 15:40

Of course people with very small children should be prioritised. Once you have children yourself, you will understand the very, very real issues that come with childcare over periods like Christmas. It's really not just about the "magic" of Christmas.

Yes, people know the leave requirements before taking a job. But unless the business is prepared to ONLY hire childfree people, then they need to make allowances. The business/NHS/whatever organisation this is, would be in real trouble if all these people resigned from these jobs. And presumably they value these employees, so they need to keep them.

The grandchildren part is ridiculuous.

I disagree though - you took a job on, you can’t be expected not to work over the Xmas period if that’s what’s required - maybe consider a different role/industry if your needs change due to childcare requirements.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 23/09/2026 15:42

ClawsandEffect · 23/09/2026 14:41

It should be parents first. 7 as the cut off age is too young. Maybe 11 or whenever they're old enough to be home alone some of the time?

Grandparents should not be the priority. And I speak as a grandparent.

There are no holiday clubs for children over the Christmas holidays so speaking practically, parents have no other option than to be off work.

No - it absolutely should not be parents first - why do parents have an automatic right to time off before any other employee? If they've asked for the time off before another person, fair enough, but just being a parent doesn't give you overall rights above somebody else to have that time off! If they haven't organised childcare, that's on them, surely? Other employees shouldn't be made to work just to cover a parent's disorganisation?!

takealettermsjones · 23/09/2026 15:42

Olive123456 · 23/09/2026 15:37

Other peoples childcare issues are not my problem.

They sort of are, on the macro level. Birth rates are declining in the UK, and if we want a society that encourages "breeding" (as a PP said!) to the replacement level, we're going to have to address the issues that are, increasingly, making people decide to have fewer or no children.

JustAnotherWhinger · 23/09/2026 15:42

ToddlerFun1234 · 23/09/2026 15:40

Of course people with very small children should be prioritised. Once you have children yourself, you will understand the very, very real issues that come with childcare over periods like Christmas. It's really not just about the "magic" of Christmas.

Yes, people know the leave requirements before taking a job. But unless the business is prepared to ONLY hire childfree people, then they need to make allowances. The business/NHS/whatever organisation this is, would be in real trouble if all these people resigned from these jobs. And presumably they value these employees, so they need to keep them.

The grandchildren part is ridiculuous.

I have 6 children and I still don’t think my childcare issues should mean childfree colleagues are lower priority.

People who have jobs with unsocial hours or Christmas work have to build their village to enable them to do their job, not expect automatic priority over colleagues.

Sarahconnor1 · 23/09/2026 15:42

Interesting that religious beliefs haven't been taken into account. What with Christmas being a religious event.

If i worked in your workplace OP I would suddenly reconnect with my catholic upbringing (and I say that as someone who usually provides cover over Christmas)

MagicUser1 · 23/09/2026 15:43

Ridiculous. I have some sympathy for single parents who might genuinely have a huge problem finding childcare at christmas - no matter how much money they throw at it.

but overall, christmas needs to be on some sort of rotation ssystem. If you had it off this year, you are at the bottom of the queue for next year.

Greengage1983 · 23/09/2026 15:43

It's all wrong, but it's mental they think grandparents of a 6 year old should have priority over the parents of an 8 year old. Wtf?! Most grandparents only see their grandchildren every other Christmas anyway.

theneighbourgotmycake · 23/09/2026 15:43

ToddlerFun1234 · 23/09/2026 15:40

Of course people with very small children should be prioritised. Once you have children yourself, you will understand the very, very real issues that come with childcare over periods like Christmas. It's really not just about the "magic" of Christmas.

Yes, people know the leave requirements before taking a job. But unless the business is prepared to ONLY hire childfree people, then they need to make allowances. The business/NHS/whatever organisation this is, would be in real trouble if all these people resigned from these jobs. And presumably they value these employees, so they need to keep them.

The grandchildren part is ridiculuous.

many of us have children, who are (or at least were very small) at one point

Still don't agree that parents should take priority!

you will understand the very, very real issues that come with childcare over periods like Christmas you have a year to plan it, and it's rare that a parent has NO-ONE available whatsoever.

If they genuinely do, then it's time to beg for special circumstances at work. But it doesn't mean Christmas should just blindly be given to parents exclusively. People can have a life too without children!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.