AIBU to consider a less stressful job before retirement?

26 replies

DeepSleepCocoon · 23/09/2026 11:06

I’m in a real quandary about what to do work wise for the next few years. I have worked hard for 30+ years ago and DH and I plan to retire in 5 years.

I left my last role (there for 9 years) six months ago due to bullying and lack of support that led to physical and mental health issues. In the period since I’ve not been at work I can feel and see the difference it has made to my health and I don’t want to go back down that route.

I could apply for similar roles elsewhere and hope the culture is different, although I know I will have to commit to studying for a qualification if I do this, which could take around 200+ hours of self study on top of work.
Alternatively I could look for a more junior role, even a completely different role, in the hope it is less stressful, but I worry I’ll be bored or looked down on by my wider family/friends (I’ve always been a high achiever).

I feel like I’m at the stage in life where I can’t deal with stress as easily (peri menopause doesn’t help!) and it makes me a worse person to be around. I’d like to not have to think too much about work when I’m not there (I know that’s not easy!).

Salary isn’t a big consideration, my health needs to come first.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or got any words of advice? I keep going round in circles - should I keep my career going for a few more years or should I slow down. DH is supportive of either option.

OP posts:

Gizzasec · 24/09/2026 15:46

I guess one of my worries is that I will feel like a "failure" if I quit my career.

OP, I get it, I really do. I really valued my role & I've been bullied by a variety of people in the workplace. When I began work, I looked at my senior colleagues and basically decided I wanted to end up like them: at the top of their game, valued, respected. I would put in 40 years, climb up the career ramp and go out on a high, like them. But they were the last generation to do that. Technology & pusillanimous management have changed everything & we are now much more likely to go out on a low. That's exactly what I did a few months ago.

I wish I could've gotten out & done something else less stressful. The last 7 or 8 years were way more damaging in terms of mental health than the 30-odd years that preceded them.

As for the bully, fuck them x100. Picture yourself annihilating them with a machine gun until there is nothing left. Then don't waste another second thinking about them. If you find yourself thinking about them & what they said or did, that's very understandable but actually those thoughts are being generated by you, and the insecurities you had & which they probably exploited.

Moving ahead into another, lower-stress job, or just retiring early if you can afford to, is not demotion, defeat, humiliation or embarrassment. It is a STRONG MOVE, a recalibration of your life. A refusal to be the ball in someone else's game. The rewards of the old game, the ramp moving you ever upwards, are increasingly illusory.

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