AIBU to feel unsure about mainstream or specialist school for Year 3?

Oh dear. That's not good. When my daughter got to specialist secondary they took part in the Shakespeare schools programme and she was Gertrude in Hamlet, performed on the stage of a local theatre!! (well, a section of Hamlet tbf). At her year 6 leaving show, she had a non speaking part - honestly, it was awful.

Your son will have so many more opportunities in specialist.

So, yes, for wholly independent schools, you need an offer of a place/for them to agree to being named.

It is worth directly contacting all schools you think may be consulted yourself to ensure they have an accurate picture. LA consults are notorious for giving an inaccurate or partial picture.

My honest opinion is that unless mainstream is definitely right for a child, then it's wrong. There is so much more support in specialist. At one point, some people were quite negative and acted as if all kids should be in mainstream or it wasn't "inclusive", but what matters is your child. Yes, it's more expensive, but I've known people who say they'd never have been able to progress and do the jobs they do as adults if they'd not been at a special school (that was the term they used, in case anyone wants to comment).

Specialist no doubt.

Definitely special school!! Places are hard to get you are lucky to get offered one, there is more chance of a better education as the class sizes will be smaller

My elder daughter was ok in infant school where the teachers and head teacher were so kind and inclusive. Then she went to the next door junior school and omg what a difference. At infant school she was included in everything, especially the plays, where she always had a proper part. Right through junior school they just had her say "welcome to our play", no part. It was awful. They just wouldn't risk her messing it up. She knew she was being side lined. Playtime was awful.

100% specialist. It gets more difficult the older they get.

Our kids both started in mainstream. Both neurodiverse.

Eldest is academically able, but struggled socially. No behavioural issues.

Youngest is more intelligent (in my opinion) & socially better but struggled with the work. I wouldn’t describe his behaviour as challenging.

Both of them completely crashed out of mainstream primary, the eldest in year 6, the youngest in year 3, quite spectacularly.

Youngest is now in specialist & potentially just coping. Keeping him in mainstream completely broke him & despite him being bright, academically he’s working at year 1 level rather than year 7. His mental health hasn’t recovered & I feel like we’ve destroyed his future. I wish to god we’d moved him
sooner.

Eldest is back in mainstream in secondary, but in a “nurture” class so his exposure to the larger mainstream school is lessened. He’s quite vulnerable socially & we’d hoped that this would be better as we’d never be able to secure an ehcp for him. In reality the “nurture” class just seems to be where they put all the kids who have challenging behaviour. He struggles no less with them, probably more in fact as there’s less people to “find his people” from. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t have an issue. A lot of it is just kids being kids, but he just doesn’t understand why they’re so mean & takes it really personally.

The school aren’t helpful. I’m sure they try their best, but they’ve only reviewed his support plan once since he started 2 years ago & that was because we repeatedly asked for a copy. Because he’s well behaved & isn’t outwardly a mess, he’s just not on their radar.

I’m not sure how he’ll get through the next 3 years, but without an ehcp & other local schools being in a similar vein, I don’t think moving him is an option. I wish we’d fought harder for him earlier.

If Specialist provision has been offered, and you have visited and are happy with it, then I would really recommend taking that offer.

No-one knows what the future holds with regard to SEND reforms and funding. If Specialist provision has been offered to you, I would accept it.

Hi. I used to work in SEN and have two children who went to specialist for secondary, so had to spend primary in mainstream.

I would definitely go for specialist. It is so much harder to make mainstream with help work - imo you are always better getting the overall environment and provision right so it works in its own right. Mainstream will always be cluttered, noisy, busy....they will try to varying degrees to make your son conformable but it will be like a sticking plaster.

Mainstream is so class teacher, head teacher and TA dependent and it can all change very quickly. Also, it gets harder with the curriculum and the other children as each year progresses. By year 6 both my children were SO isolated. They couldn't access the curriculum and they had zero friends.

They both loved specialist. My elder daughter shudders at the very mention of her junior school. They have no friends from primary and no fond memories. I was like a parriah to some of the parents and teachers at primary but had lots of friends at the specialist schools.

Good luck with your decision.

I would absolutely take the specialist place. My child stayed in mainstream until the end of year 2 and moved to a Sen school beginning of year 3

I have two autistic and academic kids - if either of them qualified for special school we’d take it like a shot.

School only gets harder as they get older, especially on the social side. And places at special schools do get much harder to get as you get older - there’s no guarantee he’d get it at secondary.

So in your shoes I would absolutely take it.

Specialist, every time but especially now as the changes the reforms will bring, will make moving to a specialist setting even more difficult.

I have visited close to 20 schools and named one as my parental preference and obviously then it’s up to them whether they feel they can’t meet his needs or have space etc

What type of school is your preferred school? Unless it is wholly independent, it isn’t up to the school to decide if they can meet needs and have spaces. They must be consulted, but the LA must name your preference unless the LA can prove:
-The setting is unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs
-Attendance would be incompatible with the provision of efficient education for others
-Attendance would be incompatible with the efficient use of resources.
The bar to prove one of the above is high. Higher than LAs and many school admit. Being full is not defined in law, and on its own being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason to refuse to name your preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DS is incompatible. It has to be something tangible and specific and is more than an “adverse effect”, “impact on” or “prejudicial to”. Unless the LA can prove one of the above, they can, and must, name them even if the school objects when consulted.

The rules are a bit different for wholly independent schools.

When the LA finalise the amended EHCP if they don’t name your preferred placement, you can appeal.

I am a primary teacher in mainstream and 10000000 gazillion percent say accept the specialist provision.

Take the specialist place. Grab it with both hands and don’t let go. Send him there tomorrow if you can!

I have worked in primary schools for decades and have never seen so many SEN children struggling. And mainstream schools struggling to manage the SEN.

Crikey you’re extremely lucky to have been offered this. These types of schools are unusual.
Go and visit the school, if you haven’t already, and see what your gut feeling is.
the first time I walked in to a specialist school with my son I nearly cried with relief at how normal he seemed there, which sounds odd but many will understand.

FWIW my son stayed in special ed all the way to 16, made lots of friends, had a great social life and now in his 30’s has a good job and a girlfriend and his wasn’t even for academically able kids (although he would have benefitted but there just weren’t any schools like this in travelling distance.).

Good luck.

Grab special school. It's not going to get easier in mainstream.

One thing to consider is the upcoming SEND reforms. At the moment, no-one knows exactly what will change or exactly when, but as things stand, the changes are going to favour mainstream placements. It might be much, much more difficult to secure SS for secondary if you remain in MS now and want to change to SS for secondary.

If the LA didn’t think SS was necessary, they wouldn’t be naming SS in the EHCP.

If you have the option of a specialist for academic autistic kids with no challenging behaviour I’d bite their hand off to accept, these schools simply don’t exist in a lot of areas. If it doesn’t work out you can always move back.
Though saying that my DD is now year 6 in mainstream ( due to no other choice, see above) and we are looking at an ARP or specialist for high school and the senco said it is quite common for kids to move up a level support wise then I.e. mainstream to ARP or ARP to base.

My little boy attends a specialist setting and has communication difficulties, he has made friends across the school sometimes the friendships take shape in different forms from all sides, i would grab a specialist place if one has been offered.