Mother in law keeps calling me fat

She absolutely won’t do any of that.

What on earth are you talking about?

You need to protect yourself and protect your daughter. You shouldn't feel upset and your daughter should not be exposed to body shaming comments from close family (or anyone, really).

If your husband is not willing to do anything about it, you might need to discuss with him temporary living arrangements whilst MIL visits: you and your daughter could somewhere else.

Or you can fight fire with fire and be blunt as an axe:

"I have a medical condition and what you sais is very rude and hurtful. I won't stand here and listen to your humilliating comments". And leave the room.

"That's very offensive and you have no right to speak to me like that". And leave the room.
"(Daughter's name), don't listen to MIL. She's being very rude and should apologise. You're beautiful as you are". And leave the room, with your daughter.

(That's the polite version. I probably wouldn't be so polite!).

Lipodema is no joke, please get a diagnosis and educate yourself on the condition. Look into lipodema sugery, if that's something it could be benefitial to you on the long run.

She arrived in late July for 3 months. So she’s leaving soon, right?

Oh, I wouldn't mince my words.

I would say, she's rude and out of order and she needs to leave if she's going to behave in this way.

If she does it again, you order her out. No matter how big the screaming match is.

If your husband doesn't stand by you, you know where you stand with him too. He can run off with mummy.

Do not appease it or put up with it.

I'm not sure why you'd think people you personally saw in South Sudan is a good sample size. The WHO says obesity has multiplied by 7 times in South Sudan since the 1980s. Obesity exists everywhere and is not a uniquely western problem.

I recommend reading about the double-burden of malnutrition.

I am ethnically Asian in a family of quite strong women. I have certainly had comments like this from some men and occasionally women. I would not tolerate it, there is no cultural excuse and if she is talking like this to your eleven year old that is actually quite dangerous. I would be clear she cannot make these comments. It is grossly offensive and she will be asked to leave if she continues. No amount of crying or screeching (which will happen), should stop you from doing this.

She needs telling that what may be acceptable in her culture is incredibly rude and hurtful here. Her son needs to tell her this as well as you. She may not mean to be hurtful, but she is, and so she needs to stop.

Your husband needs to grow a spine. Why is he okay with his wife being deeply unhappy and crying in her own house? Why is he okay with his daughter being bullied into having an eating disorder?

If he refuses to kick out his mother, kick them both out.

Whats the point of this post?

• Your MIL has been calling you fat every day for months and you’ve continued to allow that to happen so evidently you are not going to tell her to stop.
• your MIL is calling your 11 year old fat and yet again you are not doing anything about it.
• you’ve told your husband and he doesn’t care and you’ve done nothing about that either

so what can any of us say that is more impactful than all of the above ? The majority of people on here would be called fat by there mil ONCE and that would be it, she is would never do it again or she’d never see of us again. If someone called my daughter fat she’d never see her again. I’d be uninterested in the opinion of my husband if he did not see an issue with this.

You’ve posted so many times about this woman for years and your DH as well. You don’t ever take advice and generally just ghost after a while

Just flagging before posters become invested.

Tell your horrible old MiL that she’s being extremely rude, so will she please refrain from making such comments.
Maybe that sort of thing is acceptable in her culture, but it most certainly is NOT in the U.K.

"What an odd thing to say"
"What a rude thing to say"
"I know I'm bigger than I was and it's a huge concern to me. It's a medical situation which I'm working with my doctors on and your repeated mentions of my size are hugely upsetting and quite frankly rude. Please don't mention this again to me and certainly don't comment on body size and shape in front of my children. You are damaging my daughter's self esteem and I won't put up with it any more."
"Shut up or get out"

Also, I am bigger and heavier than I used to be. I have a better relationship with nutrition and my body than when I was smaller, I am in a better place mentally with regards to food and exercise. My great grandparents (who I knew into my early 20s but are no longer with us) would've loved the size of my teenage boys - they really valued "big strong legs". It mortified me at the time when I was a fit healthy but bigger than average hockey player and athletic competitor - I just wanted to be skinny but they praised me for being strong and fit and healthy.

I am more than my clothes size. I'm a short size 18. When I die do I hope people remember me for the shape of my body or for my character and what I bring to the world? I want my friends and family to be funny, caring, silly, interesting, bright, I don't choose them based on their dress size or weight. What do we really value in each other?

As an Asian person, you don't have to put up with this. I don't experience this. The odd distant relative may comment on my weight as a one off- I used to be very thin and this too was remarked on- but not my mother-in-law, or anyone on a regular basis. Certainly never if I had a health problem.

@DebbieSavage don't you ever get tired of trolling?
OP, Debbie Savage is a known troll. Do not engage with her/him.

I don’t know how you’ve put up with that for two months, you sound like a very very patient person. I think if I was crying about my weight and someone got in my face and was like “oh you can do this to make your legs smaller” I would headbut them and tell them to fuck off before I sit on them.

Throw her out and tell her to figure it out herself.

This sounds very upsetting OP.

I know it is hard but you need to stand up to it every time. Don't repeatedly explain yourself or try to defend, focus on her behaviour and how disgusting it is. You are absolutely within your rights to fly off the handle when she speaks to your daughter this way. I'm sorry your DH is being unsupportive. Tell him if he won't deal with the problem, you will.

How strange. When I was in South Sudan doing charity work I didn't see a single overweight person who wasn't part of our team and from the West. I Wonder where that 10% were living because it sure wasn't where we were situated.

Stop turning her insults inwards and questioning yourself. There is no way I would tolerate this from a guest in my home, especially not since she's now having a go at your DD as well.

Your DH is being absolutely useless here, so take matters into your own hands and tell her in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate her constant comments about your appearance and your DD's puberty any more. If she doesn't stop it, then she will have to leave. End of.

Also you have a weak husband. A complete wet lettuce.

Take that attitude to somewhere like South Korea and see how far you go. Your opinion on how people should conduct themselves around issues of weight and appearance is very western centric and, with all due respect, smacks of somebody who thinks her culture is better than everyone else's.

Newsflash. We are not the centre of the universe. Very few things are universally accepted.

Can you not just tell her that in your culture its considered really rude and unpleasant to comment on someone's body in this way? And that if she can't stop it she will have to leave?

She would never be welcome in my home again!

Your Husband needs to step up, instead of putting up with his Mother insulting you and now his Daughter.

At the point you are at, I’d be now telling her to fuck off.

This!!

I know in some cultures this is more acceptable (is she East Asian?) but she would have to leave my house until she learned some manners.

I don’t care what background somebody is or their relationship to me, what you are not going to do is disrespect me in my own house.

It's only in the west I see/hear of people who just gain weight for no reason.
Lipedema is extremely common on a global scale. The WHO says it could be as much as 10% of all women to varying degrees. Obesity is also surging in resource-poor nations. I implore you to actually pick up a book once in a while.