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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this behaviour be enough to make you move house?

82 replies

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 08:46

So we live in a new build estate. It is great here, very quiet. Houses for sale are sold within weeks. (I follow the estate agent listings)

.. Quiet, apart from my little row. We are mid-terrace. The guy on one side is rarely there. But the woman on the other side of us. Oh boy.

She lives with her teenage daughter and a dog which she is proud to have "never walked".

She doesn't work, is an alcoholic and former drug abuser. (she had told us) That would be her business BUT she is REALLY loud, and abusive when she drinks, which is nightly.

She has filled her house with Sonos speakers (neighbours to her other side said they helped her install them). So most nights she is screaming Taylor Swift songs and the music is like a nightclub. Deep, booming and bassy.

I WFH and when I'm on a call and she wakes up (so this is around 2pm daily) whoever I am talking to will say "woah, what was that?" as her music goes on as soon as she wakes.

The loudness is the worst thing but there's other stuff. When she is drunk she tends to text my partner absolute shit. She slags me off (no idea why, I'm always pleasant to her) and makes fun of us.

She is also spiteful and enjoys annoying people. She has it in her head that we "hate" her so she tries to "get to" us. She has literally told us this. "you two are so easy to wind up!" when we show zero reaction.

This morning, 7am, she and her daughter started screaming. Yep, just quite literally, screamed. Followed by wild laughing. Then more screaming. Then their dog started barking. I am SO glad I was already up.

It's been 5 years of this and I don't want to report it because, rightly or wrongly, we'd need to declare it and no one would ever buy this house.

As I type, I sit here with the windows all shut because of the constant noise, making summers here fun. Yes she is one of those "sits out on the decking, music blaring" unapologetic types.

The constant noise is bad enough, but the paranoia she displays is relatively new. Thinking we hate her so she's going to "get revenge". It's a little scary.

Would this be enough to make other people move house?

OP posts:

LoafofSellotape · 22/09/2026 08:49

Haven't you contacted environmental health? I'd be making recordings and keeping a noise diary.

Sickoffamilydrama · 22/09/2026 08:53

The thing is she'd probably do it while you are selling the house and put off potential buyers.

We had terrible neighbours think screaming fights, throwing eggs at our house, constant weed smoking.

We reported them every time and eventually they got an ASBO they then settled down as they were threatened with eviction.

We sold up having not had any problems from them for a good 9-12 months then they started it again with the new owners of our old house and eventually got evicted.

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 08:56

Sickoffamilydrama · 22/09/2026 08:53

The thing is she'd probably do it while you are selling the house and put off potential buyers.

We had terrible neighbours think screaming fights, throwing eggs at our house, constant weed smoking.

We reported them every time and eventually they got an ASBO they then settled down as they were threatened with eviction.

We sold up having not had any problems from them for a good 9-12 months then they started it again with the new owners of our old house and eventually got evicted.

Edited

This is what worries us. She'd definitely enjoy putting off prospective buyers (we want to sell in the next few months). I guess we'd have to try and limit viewings to the AM when she's asleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 08:57

LoafofSellotape · 22/09/2026 08:49

Haven't you contacted environmental health? I'd be making recordings and keeping a noise diary.

We did start a diary sent to us by the council but I never sent it back as that's when it'd need to be declared when we sell. Form TA6 I think it is.

OP posts:

LuckyHazelFox · 22/09/2026 08:57

Wonder how she afforded the house 🤔

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 08:58

LuckyHazelFox · 22/09/2026 08:57

Wonder how she afforded the house 🤔

I know! She said "inheritance from my mother".

OP posts:

GrillaMilla · 22/09/2026 08:59

Yes that's bad enough to warrant a move, it would make me ill.

Get an estate agent round asap and get moving. Maybe no board outside so she doesn't know.

In the meantime, I would block her number.

daisyydaisyy · 22/09/2026 09:01

This is what it’s like living in my council flat. It’s horrible and I wish I could afford to buy or private rent but I can’t. I’m only entitled to high rise flats as a lone woman. So yeah, it would make me want to move. I just can’t afford to. If you can afford to, move. It’s not worth the stress it really is awful and I feel for you.

andweallsingalong · 22/09/2026 09:02

And in "5 years of this" how many times have you called children's services to report that her daughter is living with a loud, abusive alcoholic who also appears to be neglecting her, particularly when younger by not getting up until 2pm.

If lots I have every sympathy for you and agree with other to contact environmental health.

If none.... . You, as an adult have options, her child doesn't.

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 09:03

GrillaMilla · 22/09/2026 08:59

Yes that's bad enough to warrant a move, it would make me ill.

Get an estate agent round asap and get moving. Maybe no board outside so she doesn't know.

In the meantime, I would block her number.

Thank you. Yes I blocked her but my partner hasn't yet. The other day she thought her dog was dying (dog was absolutely fine) and she texted my partner all Friday evening, "I'm in bits" etc. The dog was fine! We're sure she just loves the attention.

Yep, I'm always looking out of the window, hoping to see her car is out, but she's in 99% of the time. It's so stressful.

OP posts:

Cherrysoup · 22/09/2026 09:09

I think you need to declare, I’m pretty sure a new owner could sue for this if she continues once you move? We had the same, managed a year of deliberate music so loud it was distorted, declared everything to the estate agent, we were very very honest, extremely fortunately found a buyer who didn’t care. It’s possible, particularly if you sell to a landlord.

We moved a month ago and have no neighbours. It’s bliss.

cheezncrackers · 22/09/2026 09:11

I can't believe you've put up with this for FIVE YEARS!!!!

I'd have been gone literally years ago. No way could I cope with living next to that.

Laiste · 22/09/2026 09:14

Get the house on the market and don't make a big thing of it.
Say you don't want a sign.

Lifes too short for putting up with this. Do it before it escalates into something you end up having to declare.

hididdlyho · 22/09/2026 09:15

I would get some valuations. If you can afford to move out of a mid terrace house then that would be a smart move. Five years is a long time to put up with such a horrible neighbour, especially when you wfh and can't escape it.

rainbowstardrops · 22/09/2026 09:21

I agree with @Laiste. Don’t have a sign put up and don’t let your partner mention anything about moving. When we moved due to an antisocial drug taking mare, we didn’t have a sign up.
Mind you, we did keep a noise diary and the environmental health (I think it was), did contact her. We didn’t have any trouble selling.

Mirroredclock · 22/09/2026 09:37

I am on a nice estate, people sell quickly without a for sale sign, fo that. Viewings in the morning. Are there other houses on estate that you like? Maybe put a note through doors? I’m planning to move but stay on development.

In the meantime can you work elsewhere in the afternoon? Nice hotel nearby? If your car isn’t on the drive she may change her loud routines? Also as it’s getting colder less time outside?

MimiGC · 22/09/2026 09:45

I thought you were going to say it’s been going on for days or weeks, but 5 years?!! Intolerable. I’d have murdered her, but for the fact that prisons are also very noisy…how old is her daughter? If a child, I agree with. PP that child needs safeguarding.

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 09:56

The daughter has just passed her driving test and I think she is around 18. She could well be early 20s though.

When we first moved in we thought the woman was just dotty/ditzy, you know the type. You'd hear a shriek from her, and laugh it off. But she's become far more sinister now. All this "they're (us) out to get me, so I'll get them first" is 100% in her head! When she's lucid (very rare) she can actually be nice! It's just that this is only once or twice a year.

The other day she screamed at my partner as she asked him to help her with her weeding. He was wfh and told her so, and she started abusing him again. I don't know why he puts up with it.

OP posts:

CheekyBlueKoala · 22/09/2026 09:57

Just move. Don't report it because you'll have to declare it and it will definitely put buyers off. We had a similarly awful neighbour that we put up with for years. We had involved the council and the police in the years leading up to selling so we had to declare it but we took advice, put the bare minimum of detail, and luckily we sold to a landlord and they didn't ask any further questions as they likely weren't too bothered as it was to be used as a rental.

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 10:03

Mirroredclock · 22/09/2026 09:37

In the meantime can you work elsewhere in the afternoon? Nice hotel nearby? If your car isn’t on the drive she may change her loud routines? Also as it’s getting colder less time outside?

Yep, she's definitely quieter when she thinks we're out! We've had that proven a few times, so we know she is just trying to wind us up. Just wish I knew why!

There are a lot of nice houses for sale on the estate, yes - but we just want to go. We've agreed that she's totally ruined our experience of living in this area.

OP posts:

Overthebow · 22/09/2026 10:08

Yes I’d want to move. But how will anyone buy it when your neighbor is that loud? Any viewing would just put people off, and often buyers will do two viewings.

Cosimarocks · 22/09/2026 10:10

An awful situation. Unfortunately, if you do move one of the things you are asked to set out is are there any issues with the neighbours? And you could be in trouble if you didn’t reveal something that was then apparent once the new owners moved in.

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 10:10

Overthebow · 22/09/2026 10:08

Yes I’d want to move. But how will anyone buy it when your neighbor is that loud? Any viewing would just put people off, and often buyers will do two viewings.

I know - it is a genuine worry.

How can one person be allowed to create such havoc?

OP posts:

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 10:30

I wouldn't move necessarily . I've had bad neighbours and just cope and live through it . Not everything stays the same forever. Some people are awful. We have to live among them though sadly.

Not sure why she has your phone number in the first place. That's your first mistake.

I'm not giving up my house because of any neighbour, not until I actually want to move and it suits me. Whose to say it won't happen again anyway .
They aren't moving so why should you ..

Hope that gives you a different look at it. Stul in my property and believe me had some hellish people around me

Original poster

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 10:47

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 10:30

I wouldn't move necessarily . I've had bad neighbours and just cope and live through it . Not everything stays the same forever. Some people are awful. We have to live among them though sadly.

Not sure why she has your phone number in the first place. That's your first mistake.

I'm not giving up my house because of any neighbour, not until I actually want to move and it suits me. Whose to say it won't happen again anyway .
They aren't moving so why should you ..

Hope that gives you a different look at it. Stul in my property and believe me had some hellish people around me

Thank you, yes we swapped numbers in the early days when she was relatively normal. Neighbour on our other side reversed into and destroyed her plants and solar lights at the front a few years ago, and it was all caught on my Ring, so that's why she gave us her number, so we could send her the video (which she did nothing with).

We've definitely considered staying, and I'm the first to never normally let people get to me or do anything I don't want to because some idiot has forced me into it. But boy this woman is another level.

OP posts:

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