AIBU to wonder why anyone posts on Mumsnet asking for advice anymore?

Sure, but if someone is posting and in a difficult place, comments like “why did you marry this loser” can be hard to filter out.

YANBU @AMurderofMurderingCrows

And I would like a “special” mention for posters who berate an OP for not having taken a massive life changing action (such as leaving the bastard, reporting their boss to HR, going no contact with a close family member..) within 24 hours of her first post.

There seems to be a lot more posters now who just post to stick the boot in.

Not a chance I'd ask for advice on MN.

There's always something useful. You just ignore whats rude or unhelpful.

I’m not sure your brain really differentiates too much between a written reply on Mumsnet by someone you don’t know, can’t see or hear and ChatGPT that you can’t see or hear (and also isn’t real).

I’d rather get kind, considered and helpful advice from ChatGTP (with some humour chucked in too, these days) than a snarling, aggressive response from someone ‘real’ on MN.

I’ve seen quite a few threads recently where someone has come on asking for advice, only to be repeatedly goaded, attacked and made to feel like utter shit (until they eventually delete their thread - if they have any sense).

The worst thing is a that lot of people do it on purpose and are very unpleasant (easy to do when it’s all anonymous).

But, yes, OP you’re right.

Unless you post in a very niche area (like cancer, gardening etc) it’s mostly the same tbh.

There is a new generation of posters that seem to lack 3 things
Critical thinking skills
Empathy
A sense of humour
Also a large group that nitpick inconsequential details of a post just to make a point ( see @Battiespost as an example).
I think as a general rule don't look to strangers on the Internet for genuine support or good advice.

Herein lies the contentious thing I mentioned in my post - people are scared of AI , not because it's not real but for a host of other reasons, but talking about it is derailng the thread .

Like mentioning Temu even if you are totally skint will get you being told you are destroying the planet, funding child labour etc.

I don't think the choice should be AI bullshit or having your arse handed to you on here.

MN was previously more helpful.

There are so many do's and don'ts that I don't think about when I'm posting on other forums.
I missed out the ageism thing and the weight thing, because there's so many 🤭.

I still post from time to time but it’s really hit and miss what kind of replies you get. I find the first few set the tone then everyone just agrees with those first couple. Plus like you say you’ll get people trying to catch you out even on the most mundane things. I had a very boring thread once years ago about doing someone a favour by allowing him to stay at my house for 3 nights for an event we were both attending and they acted very odd before and during. Someone went to the trouble of checking my posting history and noticed I was married and thought I must be lying as obviously my husband wouldn’t be happy with me allowing a man to stay over at our house. (Even though we’d both known him for a fair few years). It’s very strange how people just want the OP to be wrong/lying/a troll etc.

If you want something sugarcoating ask a friend if you want a harsh truth ask on here.

This place is a fight club 😂

Yes, I acknowledged that in my post..."I know everybody doesn't want to talk to a machine" 🙄

But if people are looking for validation and helpful advice then they'll get it from a chat bot!

There is a list of Dos and Don'ts.

For example - do not call a woman over 18 a "girl". Don't mention that someone who shouted at you in a shop was elderly. If you are a woman and talking about your wife, say so, or posters will assume you are a man and therefore wrong.

chatGPT is not real though - lots of people want human connection not just AI regurgitation.

Especially these days when you can ask chat gpt and it'll validate your feelings and give some helpful, practical advice!
Yes I know everybody doesn't want to talk to a machine, but if you're looking for 'be kind' then Mumsnet is not it.

Not other sites, other forums on here. Relationships, Education, even Chat.

Mmm - I think, like a lot of social media spaces, Mumsnet has become more polarised and some posters forget they are talking to real people who are struggling. Posts get repeatedly derailed and I've noticed that there are far more posts deleted by MN.
There are certainly issues in my life that I've struggled with that I would never post about here because they are kind of 'red flag' topics that I know would provoke an unhelpful and aggressive response from some posters.

It really depends though, for example if the person has had something bad happen to them but mentioned that the perpetrators were foreign/ LGBTQ/ disabled another race whatever, something irrelevant to the bad thing then some posters will be all over that.

Then you either double down or apologise, but it's already too late because the derailing has already happened and loads don't read OP updates.

Basically don't post if you are really fragile and your problem is contentious .

The Op usually gets accused of being privileged and told to go and 'educate yourself'.

Genuine question here, are there?

Facebook (groups) aren’t anonymous and I posted once in Reddit but I’m shouting into the wind as none of my replies are visible!

I just wanted to say as one Diana Wynne Jones fan to another that I love your username!

😂

AIBU is awful for this, but other places are not. I'm part of a long running series of threads on the Alcohol board, offering advice for people with alcoholic partners/parents/children. All of us have lived experience. We don't snipe, we don't scold people for things they do or don't do. We just offer support. There are other places similar.