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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Report neighbour or leave him alone?

84 replies

sparklywindmill · 21/09/2026 12:26

We have an elderly man across the road who is a terrible driver, he takes ages to manoeuvre his car into a space in the street going back and forth, getting out to look and then pulling back out and in again several times before ending up exactly where he was in the first place with one end sticking out at an angle, you can see his car is covered in dents and scrapes.

He is a lovely man but I am concerned about his driving ability and also as there is only on street parking I’m concerned about him damaging other cars and probably not noticing as he was millimetres from my car the other day, even he got out and had a look to see if he’d hit it before pulling forward.
There was no damage but I’ve found myself watching nervously now whenever he is parking.

OP posts:

Allseeingallknowing · 22/09/2026 21:08

SassyLemonFish · 22/09/2026 19:47

For god knows long this has come up in parliament. There was a coroner’s report recently too about 3 deaths due to elderly drivers with extremely poor eyesight. That coroner suggests that self-reporting is not working. Apparently there are hundreds of thousands of dementia sufferers but, according to the dvla, only about 30k. This shows the extent to which elderly drivers fail to report their notifiable conditions to the dvla.

Show quote history

Then they should do as they do in Spain- compulsory, designated medical centres to test eyesight, hearing and reactions, plus review medication prior to renewing the driving licence.

FaceIt · 22/09/2026 21:17

I think I would report him to DVLA before he causes injury.

AgentPidge · 22/09/2026 21:24

HoppingPavlova · 21/09/2026 12:33

You could be talking about me, but I have been that way for nearly 50 years driving, nothing to do with age. Takes me between 10-15mins for an average reverse park if I need to do it (will do anything possible to avoid), and can take up to 10mins pulling into tight parking spots where I don’t have choice if parking is limited. That’s with reverse and front cameras and sensors🫢. No dents on car though, or hitting any other car, which is why I take so long, so this doesn’t happen. No issue with general driving though, just parking, and I’ve never had an accident where I have been at fault.

Edited

Similar here. I'm an experienced driver but not always great at parking. No accidents in 46 years touch wood. I'd be very annoyed if someone reported me for taking a long time reversing into a space.

pinkstripeycat · 22/09/2026 21:26

GiveOverRover · 21/09/2026 12:33

We had an elderly lady over the road who's driving deteriorated in a similar way, it got terrible. I didn't want to insert myself and be responsible for limiting her getting out and about, and it resolved itself in the end. The car was sold and that was her stuck in the house. There are plenty of terrible drivers out there and you can't 'report' them all.

No but you can report the ones you witness who potentially can’t see and may kill someone which happens more often than you think

pinkstripeycat · 22/09/2026 21:29

Hereforadviceee · 21/09/2026 13:30

I’m terrible at doing a few parking manoeuvres like that. Not long passed and learned with cameras and sensors so when I got my cheap car it was very different that I just park a way that’s more comfortable to me. At my last address I had to parella park and I think if what you are seeing is his everyday park we all do, even a driver who’s not great at those manoeuvres, tends to be able to do the parking where they live.
It does actually show the severity if he’s not handling a parking space he regularly parks in. Sure when you drive and park somewhere new it can take a while but your home base should be without thinking really.

If you had a driving instructor they don’t sound good.

seahorsessky · 22/09/2026 21:40

If he keeps checking, he's just over careful. I know young drivers like this, takes forever to park, but they are actually less likely to crash as they're so OTT. Admittedly they sometimes annoy other drivers.
But a lot of older people would struggle to get about and don't feel safe on the bus. I do think people with certain disabilities (of any age) should get subsidised Uber, both for their sake and so if they're not safe to drive, they are more comfortable to give up their licence. I am obviously NOT saying everyone with a disability is unsafe-far from it-I mean anyone who is.

rookiemere · 23/09/2026 07:15

I have been driving for almost 40 years and avoid tight reversing situations. Unlike DF towards the end I have no issues with reversing out from a wide driveway, parking at the supermarket in drive in spaces and leaving appropriate time to turn safely with full awareness of surrounding traffic. I am a perfectly safe driver and as I don’t particularly enjoy driving, like DM I will be completely prepared to stop once I feel I am not 100% safe.

What I am not so good at is being judge, jury and executioner on the matter of DFs driving, all this whilst trying to manage two elder people with dementia living an hour away unprepared to make the necessary adaptations or accept their conditions as an only DC. When DF was finally told to stop driving by the doctor it was the right thing to happen. If I had been the one telling him he probably would have cut me off, although as at that point I was effectively running their household and doing everything for them, it might have been a bit tricky for him.

If the DVLA can’t make some simple adjustments there should be an advertising campaign or something to make people aware it’s their civic duty to report unsafe driving not just tell the adult DCs, job done.

OptimalFETlistmaker · 23/09/2026 07:20

I reported my MIL who lost her licence, I also reported my next door neighbour, who didn’t lose their licence but had a crash 3 weeks later and gave up. I work in a hospital and see the lasting effects of car accidents so always report this kind of thing.

TheThirteenthFairy · 23/09/2026 12:27

Oreosareawful · 21/09/2026 12:51

Yes, report. You're doing it for his safety as well as others.

I reported someone to the DVLA as 'an impaired driver'. I did it online. He no longer drives. I regret nearly everything in my life, but not this.

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