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Original poster

Report neighbour or leave him alone?

84 replies

sparklywindmill · 21/09/2026 12:26

We have an elderly man across the road who is a terrible driver, he takes ages to manoeuvre his car into a space in the street going back and forth, getting out to look and then pulling back out and in again several times before ending up exactly where he was in the first place with one end sticking out at an angle, you can see his car is covered in dents and scrapes.

He is a lovely man but I am concerned about his driving ability and also as there is only on street parking I’m concerned about him damaging other cars and probably not noticing as he was millimetres from my car the other day, even he got out and had a look to see if he’d hit it before pulling forward.
There was no damage but I’ve found myself watching nervously now whenever he is parking.

OP posts:
Meteorite87 · 21/09/2026 13:40

Pp have given opinions on reporting/not reporting re the man's driving.
So I'll just add that if any police spot the broken back light on his car, he might be pulled over for that.

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 13:45

redboxer321 · 21/09/2026 12:35

I would. Don't expect anything to happen for many months though.

Nah they’re very hot on it now. I won’t say how I know, but a letter arrives within a week, demanding the book a DVLA-approved vision test specifically for driving at your local Specsavers

redboxer321 · 21/09/2026 13:48

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 13:45

Nah they’re very hot on it now. I won’t say how I know, but a letter arrives within a week, demanding the book a DVLA-approved vision test specifically for driving at your local Specsavers

Show quote history

Well there's been a radical change then.
I'd like to believe you I don't find it easy.
They need to test more than vision too.

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 13:48

@HoppingPavlovaWith respect, you really shouldn’t be driving… You never should’ve been! Just because you’ve survived 50 years doesn’t make it ok, you’re going to kill someone eventually if you’re bad enough that it takes 10/15 mins to reverse park, my god! Driving requires you to be in much, much better control of your vehicle than that! You need to be in tune with every single inch of it!

SometimesTheIntrusiveThoughtsWin · 21/09/2026 13:50

Do you know is family at all? I took my mother’s car keys off her after (what felt like) a near death experience.

Debbi62 · 21/09/2026 13:53

You can ring the dvla, we had to a few years ago . They are really helpful, he wouldn't know it came from you

CharlotteStreetW1 · 21/09/2026 13:58

Hereforadviceee · 21/09/2026 13:30

I’m terrible at doing a few parking manoeuvres like that. Not long passed and learned with cameras and sensors so when I got my cheap car it was very different that I just park a way that’s more comfortable to me. At my last address I had to parella park and I think if what you are seeing is his everyday park we all do, even a driver who’s not great at those manoeuvres, tends to be able to do the parking where they live.
It does actually show the severity if he’s not handling a parking space he regularly parks in. Sure when you drive and park somewhere new it can take a while but your home base should be without thinking really.

We have on street parking. The space outside my house (which people generally "kindly" leave for me) is on a bend. Normally takes me a couple of goes because it's such an awkward space.

I'm good at actual driving though.

HoppingPavlova · 21/09/2026 14:07

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 13:48

@HoppingPavlovaWith respect, you really shouldn’t be driving… You never should’ve been! Just because you’ve survived 50 years doesn’t make it ok, you’re going to kill someone eventually if you’re bad enough that it takes 10/15 mins to reverse park, my god! Driving requires you to be in much, much better control of your vehicle than that! You need to be in tune with every single inch of it!

Edited

Well, isn’t it lucky you don’t get to make the rules then. One of my kids has inherited my parking prowess and I’m guessing they’ll also go for 50+ years of driving without incident. The only person you are hurting is yourself, and any passengers who have their lives ticking down enduring the ordeal.

alcovecupboards · 21/09/2026 14:10

Report him. You'll never forgive yourself if he kills someone.

babyboyHarrison · 21/09/2026 14:13

You are concerned enough to create a post about it. That in itself suggests that you should report him to the DVLA.

The way I see it is he’s either safe to drive or he isn’t. If he is safe to drive and you report him, he’ll do a test and pass. He’s no worse off. If he isn’t safe and you report him, then he needs to stop driving and hopefully that will make him stop before he has an accident.

Whether the DVLA do anything about it is a whole other matter. when we reported our gran to the DVLA they did faff all about it. The best thing happened in that she drove her car (very slowly with nobody being hurt, I hasten to add) into her own garage door and wrote the car off. Fortunately that then stopped her driving.

I think you can also report to his GP. Although you may not know who it is.

MoistVonL · 21/09/2026 14:23

sparklywindmill · 21/09/2026 12:33

I haven’t seen him on the roads but his car is covered in scuffs and scrapes and a broken back light.
Watching him walk up the drive he looks very frail and slow and I’ve had to go over and tell him he’s left his lights on.

Show quote history

Please contact DVLA.

My next door neighbour got like this with his driving and it was so dangerous. He had an accident and was very fortunate it didn't kill anyone.

REP22 · 21/09/2026 14:38

Please report him. If there's no issue he will pass the DVLA's driving assessment if it comes to that.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 21/09/2026 15:45

CheeseMakesMeFart · 21/09/2026 13:10

Nothing to do with the staff. He was walking in with his mum and suddenly bolted. Kids do that.

If you can't do an emergency stop in a situation like that, you shouldn't be driving.

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Oh my god, an outrageously negligent parent then rather than an outrageously negligent nursery!

"Kids do that....." my arse. What an imaginative fucking defence.

Grumpyoldcat · 21/09/2026 15:47

Does he have relatives or visitors you could speak to first?

Grumpyoldcat · 21/09/2026 15:49

HoppingPavlova · 21/09/2026 12:33

You could be talking about me, but I have been that way for nearly 50 years driving, nothing to do with age. Takes me between 10-15mins for an average reverse park if I need to do it (will do anything possible to avoid), and can take up to 10mins pulling into tight parking spots where I don’t have choice if parking is limited. That’s with reverse and front cameras and sensors🫢. No dents on car though, or hitting any other car, which is why I take so long, so this doesn’t happen. No issue with general driving though, just parking, and I’ve never had an accident where I have been at fault.

Edited

Use your mirrors. I cant belive you cant park properly after 50 years of driving.

KilkennyCats · 21/09/2026 15:50

Tillow4ever · 21/09/2026 13:09

That poster didn’t say they got out of the nursery - it could have been they ran off from a parent at drop off time.

Even if the staff were negligent, some culpability has to be on a driver who can’t tell the difference between a brake pedal and the accelerator, and who the poster said it came out after that he should not have been driving. If it had been someone fully competent who hit the brake correctly, it sounds like it would have been a different outcome.

But too many people like to make excuses for incompetent drivers, particularly for elderly drivers who they see it as being their last lifeline to being able to get out and about. The roads are very different these days to when they started driving - add into that a decline in eyesight, cognitive abilities deteriorating, physically slower at reacting and it’s a recipe for disaster.

I hope to god I have the sense to give up my car keys if/when i get to that stage - or that someone takes them off me if I don’t recognise it myself.

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A lot more culpability goes to the parents who weren’t holding their toddlers hand next to a main road. Sometimes it’s just not possible to stop in time, regardless of who’s driving.

KilkennyCats · 21/09/2026 15:52

CheeseMakesMeFart · 21/09/2026 13:10

Nothing to do with the staff. He was walking in with his mum and suddenly bolted. Kids do that.

If you can't do an emergency stop in a situation like that, you shouldn't be driving.

Show quote history

That’s why we don’t allow them to run unfettered next to busy roads 🙄

Quine0nline · 21/09/2026 15:56

If you report him to the DVLA they will contact his GP for a report. If they feel a medical or eyesight check is needed they will arrange that. If they feel a full medical or testing is needed they will arrange that. If they feel his driving is such that he should not be on the road he will be asked to surrender his license.
There will be checks.
Some older drivers feel that to question their ability to drive is like removing their genitals. It is not.
It may just be parking or getting into his drive he has an issue with. But....

SassyLemonFish · 21/09/2026 19:31

Report.

Nobody’s ‘right’ to independence trumps another’s right to life.

Even if this person has a 50 year unblemished record of driving, it is not evidence of another 50 years of perfect driving.

This sort of thing really really annoys me. Particularly when people trot out the whole ‘but young men are more dangerous’ line.

Fast800goingforit · 21/09/2026 19:33

GiveOverRover · 21/09/2026 12:33

We had an elderly lady over the road who's driving deteriorated in a similar way, it got terrible. I didn't want to insert myself and be responsible for limiting her getting out and about, and it resolved itself in the end. The car was sold and that was her stuck in the house. There are plenty of terrible drivers out there and you can't 'report' them all.

Not having a car does limit people, but there are taxis and public transport; why would they be stuck in the house?

cleo333 · 21/09/2026 19:36

Report him and they will send him for a proper assessment to see if he’s fit to drive . I’ve seen many dangerous elderly drivers in my job that should not be in the road at all ( I’m an elderly disability driving assessor )

SplendidUtterly · 21/09/2026 19:38

Report him before he hurts himself or somebody else.

BlackeyedSusan · 21/09/2026 19:41

So he didn't hit your car because he was being careful and getting out to check? (Alternative perspective)

Depends what the rest of his driving is like.

TroysMammy · 21/09/2026 19:46

If you'd seen me parking in a marked out parking bay this morning you would have thought I wasn't fit to drive. I must have inched forward about 4 times so that my car was near the front white line. Then I realised my car wasn't as close to the kerb than it could have been, moved it again. Then it wasn't close enough to the front white line again, more manoeuvring. I'm 58 and been driving for 40 years!

TeenLifeMum · 21/09/2026 19:47

An older lady (but not that old) crashed into dd (twice) and then tried to blame dd (who’d been driving 6 months). Thankfully we had cameras which clearly showed she wasn’t paying attention. We didn’t report immediately but ended up realising that if she accidentally killed someone we’d feel guilty. We reported it to the police and they have prosecuted (within 4 weeks) with a fine and a fitness to drive assessment. We’re happy with that. If she was just having a bad day then she’ll pass the assessment. If she’s not safe then she won’t be allowed to drive.

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