To think a 16yr old can say thank you themselves

You are not wrong to expect a thank you but if they've never contacted you directly and you only see them a couple of times a year, I can see they might feel nervous about getting in touch.

Personally I'd just stop sending them money. Not sure why you do it when you are not a close family anyway.

Nailed it in one! Was just about to write your exact answer.

Pleas just dont bother. It causes you stress and upset. Your not going to change it so don't bother

You are not close it is awkward for everyone, i would probably stop sending money, and expecting them to behave differently,
My husband and his sibling are not close we hardly see them we just send cards now because it is so strained.

You have zero relationship with these children but you want them to be grateful because you throw them a few quid every now and then?

The don’t have your number either. How are they supposed to say thanks? Why not ask your sister for their number and send them a text with a message of congratulations. If adults want teenagers to behave like adults, they have to act like adults themselves.

My niece is 18. I have yet to receive a thank-you directly from her, even for gifts given to her in person. A couple of months ago, I sent a present for her high school graduation, and I have decided that it is the last gift I will purchase for her. Initially, I felt bad for not including her on my Christmas list, but then I thought about the money I've spent on birthdays and Christmas over the years without acknowledgement.

I can see they might feel nervous about getting in touch.

Why should a 19 yo feel nervous about sending a simple message?

'Thank you for the money. I'm saving to go on holiday/get driving lessons/buy a car so it will be very useful. Love Niece.'

What's so hard about that? How do people manage in the.workplace if they can't send a message to a relative?

MN is full of people that don't like to contact other people, who are much older than 19. Why wouldn't they be nervous?
And after so many years of not bothering why would they suddenly think to bother?

In the OP it says her niece has her number. It really wouldn’t be hard to send a one line thank you text.

It's partly on your sibling. They should have been taught to do at least a simple text saying "thank you so much for the cash."

MN is full of people that don't like to contact other people, who are much older than 19. Why wouldn't they be nervous?

What is there to be nervous about? You type the message and press send. It's not even as if you have to pick up the phone and speak to someone.

Again, how do they manage in the workplace?

I’d simply stop sending him anything. Or just send a card with nothing in it. If your sister says anything, just say that you’ve stopped as never got a thank you, so obviously wasn’t appreciated.

I’ve stopped sending gifts to people who haven’t the basic manners to say a simple Thank You.

I agree. I gave a 30 year old relative 500 recently and no thank you. I had enough,

You don’t have his phone number…so I’m guessing he doesn’t have yours…so how is he going to say thanks

But she didn’t give to the niece, she gave to the nephew

Well, how about ..”Mum, I want to thank Auntie X for my birthday gift, will you send me her number so I can message her” …. ??

Maybe adults should demonstrate and encourage basic good manners so they don’t end up with 18 yo children who can’t make an effort to say thanks for a gift.

Eh, ask his mum for her number ? Not a difficult thing to do, surely ?

But she didn’t give to the niece, she gave to the nephew

She gives to both of them. She says 'AIBU to expect a 16 and 19yr old to now say thank you themselves? (My Niece has my number)'.

My teen may not notice money appearing in bank account. She would probably assume it is me or her dad sending planned pocket money or whatever. Especially if same surname.

I think asking sister for their number and a text message or post a card card saying congratulations on exam may be more appropriate.

yeah but she is talking specifically about the nephew this time.

Maybe the kids asked their mum to say thanks for them…how else would she know that they had been given monwy

£500?! Ask for it back.

I've never received a bank transfer as a gift, I don't tend to scroll through the list of transactions on my bank app, the teenagers might be similar. Did you tell him you were transferring money to him?

Better off just giving gifts and money to people you're close to.

YANBU. At all. They should. But I’m sure I’m not the only parent who used to have to remind them to do it, at least when they were at home. Now I just have to hope for the best. I think they do it. I’ve told mine that if they don’t thank, I hope the senders stop sending. Nobody wants to send money and gifts in to a black hole.

I wouldnt bother sending them anything unless they have the good manners to say thankyou. Tell your sister no more money.

Well. … Mum, “son, your aunt was on, did you get the money she sent you for your birthday”. Son, “yes”. Mum, “sister, yes, thank you, he got it”.

The OP has said she doesn’t get a thanks until she checks that was received.

Anyway, why would am 18 yo ask their mum to pass on a thanks. Surely they should have the cop-on and good manners to do this themselves.