AIBU to want half of the pension after divorce?

Solicitor here. There is a LOT of misinformation on this thread. Also ignore those asking about your own contributions/work etc - I have acted for so many people around your age and they generally have similar lifestyle set ups.

You have provided very little info but based on my experience the likely outcome will be:

• House sold and divided 50/50 unless either of you needs more - for example if you need a larger deposit as you have a smaller or no mortgage cap (if you cannot both rehouse mortgage free)
• Equalise savings
• Income clean break, potentially with you receiving a lump sum to capitalise your claims to spousal maintenance
• Pension sharing order to equalise your income on retirement - not necessarily dividing 50/50 on capital but on income

Do see a solicitor as every case depends on its own specific facts and there is a lot of misinformation on MN.

It's not ridiculous or gold digging or parasitical for one partner in a marriage to stay at home if that's what has worked for the couple concerned. It's none of anyone else's business.

As OP is 60, the courts will take into account that there is limited time and chance for her to earn a significant amount of money.

I would say a 50-50 split of the house and a portion of the pension - perhaps not 50% but in the region of 25 - 40% given the high value of it - is probably the likeliest outcome.

Because she may find the grass isn’t always greener and that she finds herself in significantly more impoverished circumstances, despite all the promises from Mumsnetters about what she will or won’t get.

But a lawyer is best placed to advise on her individual circumstances.

You are entitled to half of his assets as you supported him so You are entitled to half of his assets as you supported him so he was able to earn the money through looking after the children and latterly the home
No! OP is entitled to half because that's what you sign up to when you marry.

MN meme 'was able to earn the money through looking after the children and latterly the home' is what women tell themselves to relieve the guilt. They know it's a lot of crap. MANY families have two parents working FT in high paid roles. Women stay at home because it's what they want and/or did not have what it takes to get a career themselves.

Ultimately, a man who is a high earner should have the intelligence to know what a divorce would mean to what he thinks is his assets. If he was not prepared to accept that he would have to share half his pension in the instance of a divorce, he shouldn't have gone with OP being a sahm for all their married life.

MN has real contempt for housewives.
Yes you are entitled to half of everything and you can get half the pension assets, rather than the pension income. There are different ways a pension can be split in divorce and pension companies are used to this.

Morally wrong either way contract or not. My partner works more than I do because we have children but in the event of if we got married which neither are interested and then split in 40 years I would leave that man’s hard earned pension alone.

So to clarify

Your house is worth circa £800k and you will get half

Your husband wants to combine pensions, including his that is worth several million (lets say £3m).

you truly don’t believe you can buy a one bed over 60s property in London with a deposit of £300k and an income of millions from the pension? Why must you buy a property now instead of after the divorce? We bought a house in London with a much smaller deposit and do not have incomes of millions. Let me guess those properties you have been eyeing up have a nice postcode. So you can buy somewhere but they are just not in areas you want to live in. So entitled.

your husband paid into a private pension for you and currently pays your rent and yet you want more more more. You say he wanted the status of housewife and kids in private school but they left decades ago, and you had decades while he was off working more and more to work yourself. Don’t blame that on him, you didn’t work because you didn’t want to, your comment about ‘surely no one expects me to work in my sixties’, well yes normal people do.

If he has access to his pension, and it's a DC pension, couldn't he just cash 50% in, buts she'd obviously pay 40% tax on it?

Yes, I agree with @OutOfTheOtherSide, this thread is obviously a fishing trip…. But if nothing else, it’s made me very glad I have a career (as well as raising children, looking after the house, garden etc!)

Accurate. Also be aware of rules about state pensions and pension credit. I assume you won't be entitled to a state retirement pension? You need to check that. Indeed that may mean you need a somewhat higher share to have some kind of equalisation of income in older age.

Yes you combine everything (your pension too) and split it 50/50 - thats how it works. Plenty of people work in their 60’s I am not sure why he should carry on paying for you.

You may be able to just cash in 50% of combined pensions, so say it's £1m, you get £500k, pay 40% tax, and end up with £300 (approx)

This is true. And even assuming he had strong feelings about someone else being there all the time for the kids, it's been decades since that needed to be taken into consideration. OPs DHs revealed preference has been to stay married and not require that his wife works.

Of course you should go after all that you are entitled to. I am glad you are going to see a solicitor.

It really frustrates me that some people on this thread are not being supportive. OP gave up her earning potential so that her DH could exploit his. This was a joint decision. He would not have achieved as much in his career as he did without a supportive wife who did all the heavy lifting with childcare and life admin.

Yes it may seem she's had a charmed life but she's had to put up with a very selfish man who does not appreciate his wife

She’s already said she’s not interested in travel.

Your life and the choices you both made has worked for you up until now. You are entitled to half the marital assests. You are not a parasite, greedy or grabby. Ignore those comments.
Add everything up and divide by 2. He may choose to give you the cash equivalent value of his pension from his share of the house. Depends on the figures and his needs I suppose. You need robust legal advice. Good luck OP.

Poor bloke

It really wasn’t. I’m 60 and worked throughout, part time when my DC were small, but I returned to full time later. I don’t know a single woman my age or a few years older who gave up work completely and for ever, even if the husband earned well.

Totally agree! I also have a career, children, independence and, possibly most importantly, self respect.

I am not sure why he should carry on paying for you.

Well, possibly because she can't get a job - someone who has never worked won't walk into a job easily at 60, come to that someone who has worked won't walk into a job easily at 60.
Such a trite remark.
I doubt she said when they married - right I'm going to do nothing and you've to support me forever - it would be assumed by both of them that she would stay home to provide a support for him and bring up his children.
It sounds as though he has earned enough for her to continue in a comfortable life why should he sail away in comfort but she shouldnt?

Poor bloke fuck all. He knew what he was getting into when he got married and he's not exactly been a prince of a man throughout his marriage.

This. He grafted for decades while you did nothing and now you want half of it?! You should get none of his money. You're young enough to get a job so best crack on.

So you’ve never had a job? Never lived independently, never fended for yourself? Never answered to an employer? Have you paid bills? Budgeted?

What on earth have you been doing since your kids left home?

How do you know he grafted - I know very rich landlords of many properties who spend their time in their villa in majorca