AIBU to resent funding my husband while he works part-time?

Read back what he said to you…
“if you loved me you wouldn’t think I was taking money from you”.

WTAF! He is going to do a major psychological campaign on you when you pull your rip cord! You’re his meal deal. Expect a lot of emotional shit from him.

I hope you walk away quickly OP… and before this leech drains you any further.

I’d love to understand what happens to women to allow these useless men to take them for a ride.

Well, he has already told you he’s not going to change and suggested your only option is to “find someone else then”.

So I’d say that’s what you’ve got to do, unfortunately.

I agree with a lot of the other comments on here. But, it’s not as easy as everyone thinks to just get another job with more hours! My partner earns less than me and is part time but I don’t look down on her. She contributes towards bills and stuff and yes she does sometimes borrow money but as long as she pays it back, I’m fine with it. She’s trying her best. I guess it’s what you value.

I’ve been with higher earners and haven’t been as happy.

Grim why on Earth are you with him?

Lazy and happy to sponge off you and you have sex with this man?!

“You cannot live life funded by others on the off-chance opportunity will fall in your lap and you’ll “make it”.”

Well obviously you can because he is. You get 10 of these posts a week. They make the posts to have a good old vent but they never actually leave because better the devil you know.

What has hit me in this post is “petrol money”. Petrol money between husband and wife to spend time together. That is shocking.

His dad has cut him off financially and I think you need to do the same. So 50:50 on the rent and bills and then take care of yourselves with your own money. He won’t be able to afford a takeaway if you have one, won’t be able to afford a weekend away etc. Refuse to lend him money. Just remind him you are working 28 hours more every week that him and that’s why you have more money. If he wants more money he can work more.

Was he like this when you married him? If so did that not give you pause for thought? Ultimately I would tell him that you can’t see this working if he expects to be kept as you want a better lifestyle than working your socks off to support him working 20 hours a week.

This. If he wants to salvage relationship and its salvagable he might sodt himself oit. Otegrwise he has not been hekoed by his parents to grow up, sadly . Im sure they are equally unimpressed.
I hope u cam do it op. Dont ket your gard work be something hea also spongeing of....waiting for yoi to die or divorce HIM so he can take you to the cleaners..at this point, after 2 years, its prob a clean break.
Be brave. Help yourself. Save yourself. Dont let him drown you.

This would be ok if you had children and he was doing more childcare and household chores than you’re able to because you’re full time .
But as it stands it’s not fair at all.
If he did more around the house , cooked , cleaned etc , was careful with his money and was actively pursuing ways to teach more then that would also be ok

Short marriage and no house, children or big salary (yet,). Get out now before he fleeces you.

PS love is an action
Don't see any love flowing from him to you.

Thetes a book thats easy to read aboit the psych and need foe conditional love in relationahips. I think its a windy dryden book. Its easy read, and very helpful potentially fof you. Good luck whatever you do.
He really is someone who hasnt been helped to see the need for growing up tho.

one of his parents is a narcissist and he has inherited it. Please please don’t get pregnant. Get out of this relationship as soon as you can.

i am stuck in something similar but my husband has come from poverty. It’s got nothing to do with his background and everything to do with his upbringing.

please please get out, then work on the root cause of why you ended up with someone like this and then move on.

look after yourself

Support, advice, reassurance. A dispassionate perspective, since both H and MIL say SIBU.

What’s wrong with that?

I'm getting the ick reading about him! From what you've said he's unlikely to get better, only worse, egged on by his enabling mother.
Divorce him now while you still can and not lose too much financially!

I’m really sorry, but you don’t earn well at all. He is full of it. And staying with this man will ensure you don’t.

You’ve worked so hard to become a doctor and now this loser sponges off you and disrespects you. I really feel for you. You really need to dump him and meet someone else. You’re young. You have so much going for you and your whole life ahead. Please leave him.

This does not sound like a happy marriage as he is a spoiled manchild. He's not even very bright if he's been rude to his father and lost access to the gravy train! You are young enough to start again with someone who deserves you and have children if you want them. Otherwise, you will end up working long hours but atill doing all the household tasks and child rearing and then you will really find him a turnoff. It sounds like you won't have much pension yet for him to get his hands on so this is the time to cut your losses and divorce him. As long as you are with the wrong man you will never meet the right one and you deserve so much more.

Yep but thats different. Women octen earn leas than men. (Of youre a man). Amd an equal partnership where someone earns more isnt an issue. Id even say that 50-50 when someone erans mroe is not an equal of fair partnership.
bUT the op ismt talkimg about this kind of set up. Shes talkimg about someone who actually ahs grown up thinking or bslieving he doesnt have to do anything to get money. And doeant ahbe to contribute anything..thats oroblematic and will be a disaster

I stand corrected. The further I get into the thread the more people are calling her out and rightly so.

Both total wastes of space, I agree

** approx. a third of her life raising children

I don’t know who you are agreeing with, as I absolutely did not call the woman on the other thread a complete waste of space.

Perhaps you should read threads more carefully in general.

He sounds like a super fun guy in your 20s or early 30s but not necessarily marriage material. You losing or already lost respect for him. Cut the cord.

What would happen if you were to reverse the sentiment?

"I’d love to understand what happens to men to allow these useless women to take them for a ride."

I mean absolutely leave him but also how are you only get lying £48K for 4x12hr shifts? I’m confused are you a doctor but on a band 6?

I do.