AIBU to resent funding my husband while he works part-time?

Reframe it as divorcing him because he doesn’t care about you and doesn’t support you emotionally. The financial situation is a symptom rather than a cause. And at this point, it doesn’t really matter what he says or thinks about your reasons. He is someone whose judgement is slanted towards his own interests.
So start divorce proceedings and stop funding him. Don’t do a food shop, eat while you are out. Stop transferring him money. Don’t give him petrol money unless he is giving you a lift to something he doesn’t benefit from. Put your money in a separate account if it’s not already in one. Don’t cook for him or do his laundry. Treat him like he treats you .

Yeah I don’t have a car either and my local hospital (medium sized market town) is only accessible via car irrespective what time you’re going unless you happen to live in walking distance as there’s no buses.

When I had quite a few hospital visits earlier this year some taxi drivers even assumed I was a healthcare worker , because a lot of hospital staff use taxis to get to and from work from my flat building apparently.

It’s only a fiver each way from my street thankfully, but some people will live in areas where it cost a lot more to take daily taxis so a car will be better and more convenient.

Plenty of healthcare staff talk about needing their car due to lack of good public transport and female staff not wanting to walk far to bus stops in the dark during winter etc

@shuggles Yes, but they're ordinary mortals and don't walk on water.

Another poster managed to point that out to me without your sarcastic 'what do you know' tone, more at home among a group of teenagers. Those who have been automatically assuming the OP will require a car probably weren't thinking about late shifts, but rather swinging to car as default option, as do so many people. Last week I collected our car from the garage and paid £1500 for essential parts and labour. The initial cost of a car, depreciation, fuel, road tax and insurance could fund a lot of taxis for periods of working antisocial hours. 48 hrs, 12 hr shifts would be 4 days per week. So 4 x taxi journeys. Of course, only realistic if OP lives not too far away. We don't know where she lives so of course no comments from any of us are going to be right on the ball.

Have you left him yet @Stressedbadlydressed ?

Most people end up working over their contracted hours anyway.

I think it would be ok if it was based on 37 hours rather than 47.

Tell me you know absolutely nothing about resident doctors training rotations!

Oh God yes. I’m sure someone in the thread will have counselled a meeting with Women’s Aid or an equivalent, if only to be pointed towards a trustworthy and diligent solicitor.

He would give me the right ick. If he was sat at home on his other 20 hours he’s not working a week on his art, then I could maybe understand. But he just sounds like a bum, scrounging from everyone else. Does he do the cooking, cleaning, housework etc whilst you’re at work?

@SheilaFentiman That was my thought too, though with so many posters talking about mortgage contributions I wondered if I'd misunderstood. Also, it seems unlikely that the OP would recover the borrowed money from the sale of the house. It probably wouldn't count as a loan when one spouse has given the other money.

You're probably correct, and this just shows the problem with taking amateur advice.

@Isabella70 I am also not a lawyer but I think the house is a marital asset and the split is unlikely to be down to contributions during the relationship. But absolutely agree that a lawyer is needed!

But get a solicitor please to get real advice. For example if you are currently paying 3/4 of the mortgage than it would seem to me - but I'm only guessing - that reducing your payment to 1/2 would give him the possibility of a greater stake. I assume - but then again it's an assumption - that the total amount paid into the mortgage over its life is what counts. But really - if I had one piece of advice that I'm almost sure is accurate - don't make any major financial changes before getting professional help.

I doubt very much if anything I post ever makes me look good.

My reaction was incredulity that anyone in GB would claim that all large hospitals are adequately serviced by public transport, in respect of hospital staff needs. Not everywhere is central London.
Coming off a long, late shift, knackered ? If a bus were even running, I’d be very wary of joining its passengers.

I know bloody well that a car is a major, major outlay (I have never managed to afford one) but your assertion that OP wouldn't miss hers for her work since transport would never be a problem astounded me.
(I doubt I’ll ever recover full use of my nerves after a year as a British Rail commuter between Oxford and Reading in the ‘80s)

I grovel in apology for so angering you with just three words (+ my existence)

Source other housing for yourself, maybe a house share for 6 months, anything, and give notice on this place.

Yep just as i said upthread - things are turning ugly. He’s being passive with it now but I expect it will escalate.

Please be careful Op and let friends/family/friendly neighbours etc know what’s going on.

His is lazy and selfish and has no respect for you. If you had kids, he would only get worse.

There is no reason why he can't work full time, and he is just using you.

You need to get some good legal advice and then take it from there. If you rent, then find another place and give notice.

It's begun. These parasites are incredibly hard to remove. I got into a new relationship to get rid of mine. Not that I'm recommending it.

Life is going to get intolerable until you back down. Do you have people to help get him out?

If your wife was homemaker in name only. Went off and did her own thing while you funded it and didn't do any 'homemaking'. You would probably think differently.

Unlike @SheilaFentiman who simply an helpfully pointed out something I'd overlooked, you're the sort we often get on MN, who just enjoys getting in pointless little jibes to make yourself look good. A car is a major expense and can add greatly to financial stress that isn't always worth it.

Seconded. OP needs to be ruthlessly focussed now, as this is when bums and leeches like this discover reserves of great motivation and determination, and they need to be ‘declawed’ before they’ve gathered themselves into full fighting fitness.
Dont leave any chinks or cracks through which he night undermine your plans.

Are you serious?

Oh here we go, another one. We could all have a passion and declare that working full time/in a job we hate would kill us if someone else was funding us. His mother doesn't want him back hence her guilt tripping you. His DF has had enough of him. He will jack work in completely soon so he can concentrate on his passion/sitting around doing nothing.

You are an intelligent young woman with a whole range of opportunities in front of you. Get rid of him.

Leave him to pursue his passion.

Night shifts and public transport don’t necessarily coincide