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Original poster

BF admitted he just isn't physially attracted to me

99 replies

Wowcocoa25 · 20/09/2026 19:16

To be really.hurt that my BF admitted he just isn't physially attracted to me?

Dating 18 months. Sex has never been good or frequent. I told him I'd started Mounjaro a few weeks ago and he started twlling me Im beautiful all the time (trying to convinve himself?). Im a few years older, early 50s and was this weight when we met (he isnt exactly slim himself) but I gained 2 stone in menopause over the few years before meeting him. I'm really hurt. He uses porn a lot. This is the end isnt it? He's really sweet, and he was kind about it but honest. He has become like a best friend and it had killed any desire to try to initiate or even join in when he sorts himself out. I have stopped him staying overnight.

Any advice really appreciated.

OP posts:
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MzHz · 22/09/2026 13:10

JHound · 20/09/2026 20:45

“because it’s convenient” came the answer

Jesus Christ…

Show quote history

I know.. it was awful.

JMSA · 21/09/2026 22:33

There is no advice to give, I’m afraid. Sorry. Your relationship is dead in the water and there’s no going back.

user1464187087 · 21/09/2026 17:54

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/09/2026 19:24

Jeezo, don’t put up with this op. You deserve a man who fancies you - this one sounds like he has issues. None of us are perfect, I’m certainly not, both in our 50s a bit of extra weight etc, but my partner thinks I’m the sexiest woman on two legs and that’s how it should be!

Edited

That's a lovely post. x

Venicelagoon · 21/09/2026 16:56

My advice is to just be friends with him but look for someone who really does physically fancy you.

Dont be upset. Hes not worth it.

JHound · 21/09/2026 11:55

Rainbowchicken · 21/09/2026 09:17

What a weird comment.

Show quote history

I just noticed that “any sex is good sex”. Errrr no. Definitely not!

Rainbowchicken · 21/09/2026 09:17

QueenOfAccountability · 20/09/2026 21:32

Why is he dating you then, if he doesn't find you attractive?

Also, what exactly is bad sex? Surely any sex you're getting is a good thing?

What a weird comment.

Cheese55 · 21/09/2026 09:07

callmeLoretta1 · 21/09/2026 08:57

I'd never accept any boyfriend or partner watching porn. I would not have it. You should have put your foot down on that, it's so disrespectful.

Porn also gives men unrealistic and unattainable expectations so it ruins relationships. That was the start of your problem; that you allowed the porn in the first place.

I also find the idea of porn disgusting but I'm not sure how OP or others can stop men watching it. I know women do too but I've never got my head round that either unless there is an area of porn which is respectful to women.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/09/2026 09:01

He is like many men, addicted to porn and too lazy to actually make the effort to have sex with anyone other than their hand.
I would rather be alone than continue with the relationship.
Good luck on your weight loss journey, make sure he gets lost along the way, get out walking, eating well and give yourself the time and love you deserve.

callmeLoretta1 · 21/09/2026 08:57

I'd never accept any boyfriend or partner watching porn. I would not have it. You should have put your foot down on that, it's so disrespectful.

Porn also gives men unrealistic and unattainable expectations so it ruins relationships. That was the start of your problem; that you allowed the porn in the first place.

Illegally18 · 20/09/2026 22:19

JHound · 20/09/2026 20:45

“because it’s convenient” came the answer

Jesus Christ…

Show quote history

Indeed

Onceuponatime32 · 20/09/2026 22:11

Pornsick men are often shit in bed and can’t have normal relationships with women due to their porn fried brain.

Its not you.

RabbitHead · 20/09/2026 22:01

Dump . The. Twat

Smallestshadow · 20/09/2026 21:55

After 18 years this can happen but 18 months?! You’re still in the honey moon period & should be all over each other. If he feels like a friend that soon in, there’s nothing worth salvaging.

TattieSconeEggAndBacon · 20/09/2026 21:53

If you can remain friends then great, but don’t be in a relationship someone who you don’t have a good physical connection with.

Yellowshirt · 20/09/2026 21:51

Have some confidence in yourself. Someone will think you are beautiful and sexy and want to be with you everyday.
I'm staying single now until I find a woman who accepts me for me and I can fall in love again. I'm 45 now and been single for the majority of the last 8 years but I'm not prepared to accept the kind of relationship you currently have.
I may be single forever though which does worry me.

Ilovemyfam · 20/09/2026 21:51

Releasemeplease · 20/09/2026 19:27

Why do you want to be in someone who gets his sexual gratification from porn? Men who use porn aren't capable of a proper relationship with a real woman.
There is nothing wrong with you OP. He is the problem. Yet another man who has had his brain addled by porn.

This was my thought

BusyExpert · 20/09/2026 21:43

He is not physically attracted to you because his overall appetite for sex is waning. His own testosterone levels will have dipped as he ages and it wont be helped by him being overweight. He is using porn to get himself aroused and people that become addicted to porn need more and more and often kinkier porn to become aroused.
its very typical” for women to blame themselves for things like this and for men to use it as excuse for their own lack of performance. So don’t fall for it.
I suspect if you say OK we will just be friends and cool on him he might realise what he is missing. 8n the meantime working on yourself will make you feel better, a diet, exercise and having a make over can work wonders.
but don’t do it for him, do it for you

Ritaskitchen · 20/09/2026 21:43

It’s isn’t you. It’s the porn.
Please please know it isn’t you.

Also it isn’t kind to tell someone that. And he’s an idiot. Real men find real women attractive. Not people on a screen who they can never be with and are actors or coerced into performing.

caringcarer · 20/09/2026 21:41

I'm sure you can find someone who is physically attracted to you. Throw this one back.

Happyjoe · 20/09/2026 21:39

He needs porn to get his rocks off? Ah well, leave him to his porn, I should imagine it's more to do with that than what you look like. He certainly has some issues there..

If more like friends now, then perhaps when the dust settles, you can just be friends. Sometimes it works out ok.

ChristmasCwtch · 20/09/2026 21:36

Don’t waste your time OP. Put him in the he bin!! 🗑️

Cheese55 · 20/09/2026 21:35

Wowcocoa25 · 20/09/2026 19:29

Thanks everyone 😘I know. It's just that we get on really well and he has become a close friend. It has really hurt me. He was pretending he had low confidence in bed, he is diagnosed with ASD and said it makes him awkward. He hasnt ever had a full sexual adult relationship. But I dont have to be his coach, I was doing that, trying to build his confidence, going along with it, but not anymore. Thank you all

Do u mean he's a virgin but is w××king in front of you?

Hotap · 20/09/2026 21:33

@QueenOfAccountability Any sex is good sex? Definitely not!

TheRobotsAreComing · 20/09/2026 21:33

Wowcocoa25 · 20/09/2026 19:16

To be really.hurt that my BF admitted he just isn't physially attracted to me?

Dating 18 months. Sex has never been good or frequent. I told him I'd started Mounjaro a few weeks ago and he started twlling me Im beautiful all the time (trying to convinve himself?). Im a few years older, early 50s and was this weight when we met (he isnt exactly slim himself) but I gained 2 stone in menopause over the few years before meeting him. I'm really hurt. He uses porn a lot. This is the end isnt it? He's really sweet, and he was kind about it but honest. He has become like a best friend and it had killed any desire to try to initiate or even join in when he sorts himself out. I have stopped him staying overnight.

Any advice really appreciated.

Stay on mounjaro
LTB
Get your self esteem back
Live in perfect peace until a man who loves you unconditionally comes along.

QueenOfAccountability · 20/09/2026 21:32

Why is he dating you then, if he doesn't find you attractive?

Also, what exactly is bad sex? Surely any sex you're getting is a good thing?