Another wills one…

I understand what you are wanting to achieve. Have similar thoughts myself as we need to update our will. It's a difficult one. Be interested to see how the voting goes. Good luck.

It's very reasonable. You change your tenancy to tenants in common on the deeds and leave your half in trust to the kids, with your DH having beneficial interest to live there or in an alternative house using the money, which he will also part own with the trust , with beneficial interest.

It's quite common and sensible

I think also if you die 1st and say your husband doesn’t remarry, if he went into care the council wouldn’t be able to touch the kids share of the home. I have a friend who asked a solicitor to do this but he advised against it, the reason being if any of your kids were declared bankrupt or got divorced the share of the house could be taken. Lots to think,about.

NEVER TRUST ANYONE TO LEAVE YOUR SHARE OF YOUR MONEY OR ASSETS TO YOUR CHILDREN !!! EVER. You are the only one can make sure your children get what you want to leave to them. Even the father of your children can disregard them. You are the only person who can make sure your children are provided for. Let your husband be upset , it doesnt change the fact you want to provide for them in the event of your death. For example , you own 50% of assets ,you could leave a % to husband and a % to your child / children. Look up what happened to linda bellinghams children .... totally disregarded because she 'trusted' a person (not th father of her children) with her money under the impression that person would make sure her children were provided for. They werent. They got nothing.

I am happy for DH to fully own our home if I pass away first & him me, we have mirror wills.

I wouldn't want our (adult) children having control / influence over his home, I trust him just as much as I trust them.

(Many people on this site have younger children and can't imagine them being anything other than vulnerable young things. They do change!).

Are you aware you may have to pay inheritance tax on assets not passing to your husband (above the nil rate band / Residence nil rate band)

My aunts best friend had cancer. Knowing she was terminal, she introduced her DH to a woman she fully expected him to marry post her death and look after her children. She had 3 houses that she had worked herself to the bone to provide an income for each of her two children and the third for her husband.

They married soon after her death and her childern have inherited nothing because the father left everything to the new wife.

This is the scenario you are trying to prevent and this is what you should both discuss.

DH and I have mirror wills that everything goes to the other person and then onto the children. I forced the conversation because my DF left no will and it was an unholy mess to result in paperwork.

What you cannot do as my aunts friend husband clearly did is prevent the changing of the will post the other ones passing.

I don't agree.

My dc are all adult, and, should either of us die, we have both agreed that which is suggested above. I 100% want all of my half of our assets to go to my dc rather than any potential future stepmother, as does dh want his half to go to our dc rather than to any potential step father.

I can't see anything unreasonable about that.

Don’t write it in your will ….

?

Married people can leave everything to each other tax free.
if you don’t do this and leave half the property to the children, you lose that tax allowance. Your £325000 stands and if half the house exceeds this, you pay inheritance tax.
leave everything to your married partner - he/ she gets your allowance too. When they die they now have £650,000 to pass on, without paying IHT.
You can leave the property, up to the value of 1 million, tax free.
In other words, get tax advice!

I suppose the big question is what happens on your death in this scenario. If it is that your half goes to the kids and they can do what they want with it (including forcing a sale), then it’s not a great idea and I’d be pissed off if my spouse suggested it. If you are going to give him a life interest to stay in the house and the kids get it when he dies then it works.

I trust my dh to think about his children if I was to die. @Dontasksillyquestions Wouldn't you just be reassured if you had a hypthetical conversation about inheritance in case you died and he remarried?

We have been married 52 years and we changed our wills from joint tenants to tenants in common a few years ago. We've both left our own particular halves to our daughter with the surviving parent having a life time right to live in the house or sell and buy another property.
If the surviving parent ends up in care then his/her half of the property will go towards paying for that care... But not the whole property. We both worked hard for it. If I need care fair enough, my half will go towards that care. But if dh does before needing care, why should his half go to supporting me in care rather than to our daughter?

This is how DH and I have set our wills up. I’ve yet to see if SM is going to try and change the will trust my late DF set up.

Whilst I think this set up is common, I’d be pissed off too, like your DH. You can dress it up all you want, it’s you effectively saying I don’t trust you to do the right thing by your own children (presumably with zero evidence that he’d fuck them over).

Fundamentally, you don’t trust him and if that’s the case then yes, it’s the right thing to do.

@Dontasksillyquestions as long as you’re happy for him to do the same set-up then it’s fine.

I totally understand why you’d do that and why it’s very sensible.

But he’s right, you don’t trust him to do right by your kids. You can’t deny that’s exactly what it means. And you can’t argue that it’s the stepmum you don’t trust or that you want to protect it from being used for his care etc but those are just side arguments to the fact that you don’t think he’d be able to prioritise them no matter what.

I do trust my DH with that. He’d prioritise the kids over me even. He’s already done many things to protect their inheritance from us both that don’t benefit him or me. So this is not a concern I’d have about another woman. He’d also be very hard on a woman who tried to manipulate him even softly.

But there aren’t too many men I’d trust to 100% do the right thing with this so I think you’re right to protect their inheritance. I have two friends who lost their mum as a young adult and both have had their dad treat them not well and in both cases he quickly moved on to a friend of the mums as a replacement.

My dad died over 10 years ago. His 2nd wife survived him. I have absolutely no idea what was in his will. I occasionally wonder about it.

Yes we have done this too. I know personally two people who inherited nothing from their dads as the dad remarried and left everything to his ‘new’ wife.

It gives me peace of mind. It was a fair amount of faff to arrange and cost a fair bit.

You both own half the house. If he wanted to will his house to a cat charity, he can. You can do the same.

I think it’s a very sensible idea to make sure your half goes to the kids. At least they’ll get something.

So my parents did this and dad died. However they wrote in the will they could sell the house and buy another- with leaving half the house still in trust for their children. Slightly more expensive for conveyancing- but ensures they could sell if necessary, as well as protecting half of the house ...

And for those talking about divorce- my parent left it in a trust fund, with their children as trustees- and the trust paperwork setting out what happens, and it doesn't count until my other parent dies- when the trust will be desolved... Dad had a friend who remarried and 3 days later died- new wife's family got it all as no new wills, and the children got nothing he wanted to ensure that didn't happen.
This also ensures that half of the property doesnt go on care home fees....