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AIBU?

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Original poster

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:
Piglet89 · 20/09/2026 11:41

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:39

I dont think the relations are there for a chat with her as she makes it clear to me and to other neighbours that she dosent like me.

I saw her wave to a neigbbout opposite last week who was parking up but when she see's me she looks straight past me and blanks me.

I would dislike you too if you were my neighbour regularly playing very loud music after 2300.

Tryagain26 · 20/09/2026 11:40

It depends. If you have been playing loud music every Saturday night for months /years then they have probably got to the end of their tether and snapped.
Was the music loud ? Are the walls thin? Did you play the music until late in the night? Every weekend?
If so did it not occur to you that it might upset them.

nomas · 20/09/2026 11:39

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:37

I will be honest but sometimes it does go past 11pm and it must be loud if she can hear it.
The music is quite loud as if you were singing loudly.

Her music was loud and could here word by word.

Yikes. Have you at least stopped the loud music after 9pm now?

Blushingm · 20/09/2026 11:39

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:37

I will be honest but sometimes it does go past 11pm and it must be loud if she can hear it.
The music is quite loud as if you were singing loudly.

Her music was loud and could here word by word.

The you are unreasonable and have probably been irritating your neighbour for ages. Why would you think music on loud past 11pm is ok?

Original poster
beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:39

I dont think the relations are there for a chat with her as she makes it clear to me and to other neighbours that she dosent like me.

I saw her wave to a neigbbout opposite last week who was parking up but when she see's me she looks straight past me and blanks me.

OP posts:
ThatJadeLion · 20/09/2026 11:38

There's obviously two sides of the story!

Original poster
beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:37

I will be honest but sometimes it does go past 11pm and it must be loud if she can hear it.
The music is quite loud as if you were singing loudly.

Her music was loud and could here word by word.

OP posts:
nomas · 20/09/2026 11:35

It does sound passive aggressive but just go and have a word with her and tell her if your music bothered her you’re sorry and you’ll be more careful in future.

My mum would be the same as your neighbour, the music would drive her crazy.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 20/09/2026 11:34

It’s hard to know if YABU or not. She sounds batshit, but equally she could just be at the end of her tether and not feel comfortable in approaching you. How loud is your music and how long does it go on?

Of course you have a right to enjoy your home and that includes playing music, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your neighbour’s peaceful enjoyment of hers.

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