Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:
PrayForPlagues · 21/09/2026 06:50

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

This faux naivety on your part is very wearing. I don’t know what you expect from your neighbour, you’ve been a bloody nightmare to live next to. If I was her I would’ve retaliated much sooner.

Seajaye · 21/09/2026 06:35

Clearly you've upset your neighbours by playing music at volume late at night, disturbing their peace. So yes, they are being unequally unreasonable to make a point.

Get yourself some headphones.

If the house manure Is on their garden and Is used to improve their own garden, then there's not much you can do about the temporary smell. But Is your garden untidy or have you done soneitning else to annoy them to make them leave a pile of house manure for weeks near your boundary? They obviously have to put up with the smell but your lack of self awareness makes me think you have been an annoying neighbour to them .

Stop upsetting them and perhaps the neighbours will stop annoying you as well. IYou could try to apologise and tell them you now have head phones so they won't hear music from your side. Tidy up your front garden if you need to. . If the anti social behaviour continues after you have cleaned up your acts, you could report them but prepared for neighbour relations to get worse.if you do.

WhatTheHellsGoingOn · 21/09/2026 01:15

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:37

I will be honest but sometimes it does go past 11pm and it must be loud if she can hear it.
The music is quite loud as if you were singing loudly.

Her music was loud and could here word by word.

How much after 11pm?

Ayarreet · 21/09/2026 00:27

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

I think she's a Medium and she's warning you that the Flower of Scotland might be the boat that you hire to waterski.
It's an Omen.
*nods and looks earnest.

Yupstillhere · 21/09/2026 00:19

Bagpipes, give it up, this isn't real.

shhblackbag · 21/09/2026 00:19

RunningJo · 20/09/2026 22:23

I’m beginning to wonder if this post is even real.
Sorry OP but I’m struggling to think anyone could lack this much self awareness

Show quote history

I know. It's almost impressive.

ILoveListeningToRainAtNight · 20/09/2026 23:37

The hours of the music, the duration of the music, and the obvious volume and regularity of the music are really inconsiderate. Glad you're not my neighbour. They have probably decided they are sick of your music, so put their own on as they'd rather hear theirs than yours.

leavingonajetplane76 · 20/09/2026 23:13

Reverse

Onceuponatime32 · 20/09/2026 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Smallpoxy · 20/09/2026 22:29

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

You are surprised?
No one can be that darfed.

RunningJo · 20/09/2026 22:23

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

I’m beginning to wonder if this post is even real.
Sorry OP but I’m struggling to think anyone could lack this much self awareness

Flannelfeet · 20/09/2026 22:23

What kind of music are you playing? 🤭.

Empress13 · 20/09/2026 22:16

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

you sound a bloody nightmare to live next door to she is obviously at the end of her tether

Original poster
beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

OP posts:
Smallpoxy · 20/09/2026 21:17

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 15:16

We used to talk, get each others parcels, I even suggested the company that did her carpets in her house, so its not like we have never spoken/ got on.
She would even talk to my mum about gardening!
She called my step dad to do her blinds.

She really could have just approached me about it.

Our mutual friend has said they were due to move first week October and have already handed in their notice to the Council but now will be calling them on Monday to see if they can end the tenancy this week and will move in with family until then!

She has also just moved the manure right next to my fornt door but on her side.

Or you could grow up and not be a PITA! Don't make yourself the victim here because you aren't

JohnofWessex · 20/09/2026 19:01

I think that making excessive noise is a form of aggression and should be dealt with as such

Whatever else you think about Germany we could usefully adopt some of their noise control legislation

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 20/09/2026 18:19

SecondFromLastInTheSackRace · 20/09/2026 15:37

HEADPHONES!!

For the love of God, I’m surprised she hasn’t murdered you!

Show quote history

Right? I was on a bus the other day and some clown was listening to absolute shitty music on his phone without speakers. I gave him a dirty look and then put my own headphones to listen to my own shitty music. I was actually happy when another guy got on and immediately put his own headphones in. Brilliant little invention they are.

I genuinely don’t know at which point it was decided that not using headphones in public or when listening to loud music was acceptable. I would feel like the biggest prick ever if I did that.

Bamboozle30001 · 20/09/2026 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Happyjoe · 20/09/2026 17:39

JohnofWessex · 20/09/2026 15:31

If you are also a council tenant then you could be on a one way trip to homeless as a consequence of your behaviour

Council's do nothing. I've tried.

Ellie1015 · 20/09/2026 17:32

She hates you guts because you have played loud music twice a week for over 4 hours at a time. And god knows what else if you didnt realise that is unacceptable.

You have driven her out of her home.

BlueFahrenheit · 20/09/2026 17:15

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 14:01

Well I have just spoken to a mutual neighbour/ friend who we both get along with.

He basically said she absolutely hates my guts and is moving next few weeks or something.
He said she dosent say much apart from "sorry I absolutely hate her guys, dont want to talk about her" when he found out I was her neighbour.

So a friendly note/ chocolates is not a good idea according to him.

If I see her I will apologise but I dont want knock on her door knowing how much she hates me.

You are selfish and careless.

Learn how to behave and be considerate.

thestudio · 20/09/2026 17:15

I applaud the bagpipes particularly. Such panache.

thestudio · 20/09/2026 17:14

I think you should also ask yourself why you think being passive aggressive is a worse trait than being an antisocial arsehole.

How very dare they.

UnwillingAdvocate · 20/09/2026 16:54

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

Maybe she thought you might have a bit of self awareness and not need to be told you were being rather inconsiderate .

Grumpyoldcat · 20/09/2026 16:48

Yes, especially the bagpipes.

Swipe left for the next trending thread