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AIBU?

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Original poster

Passive aggressive neighbour?

209 replies

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:31

Basically most Saturdays nights when the kids are with their nan I like to put music on etc.

Lasr night one of my NDN was blasting music on my bedroom wall side as well as playing playing some kind of bagpipe.

She also moved manure on the side of her driveway where I walk past with my DC.

We used to get on have a chat about out DC etc but over time she just blanks me.

If the music was bothering her surely she could have just approached me?

Of course I will be more considerate moving forward but is their behaviour passive aggressive?
They have never played music loud enough for me to hear and when I heard it I turned mine off.

Aibu

OP posts:
Biscuitjockey · 22/09/2026 01:01

Probably put it there so that you won’t open your windows . She’s trying to reduce the noise you’re creating. I love my peace, if you were my neighbour there’d be hell on.

mumsntt · 21/09/2026 23:35

youre an inconsiderate arse

Onceuponatime32 · 21/09/2026 23:34

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

Well you should have said! Why don’t you pop round and have a word with her?

Shelby2010 · 21/09/2026 23:32

I would suggest that you keep the music turned down and be a bit more considerate when you get new neighbours.

As a rule of thumb, don’t be louder than you would be if your kids were asleep upstairs.

ILoveListeningToRainAtNight · 21/09/2026 23:02

beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

She's probably still anticipating your noise and getting her cover up sounds on. Now you know how she felt. She's moving, so ignore it.

Original poster
beanbeery · 21/09/2026 22:59

Well the music is on again tonight, and it is bagpipes on YouTube as I can hear the ads.

When the music stops a heavy loud fan noise with chimes comes on and is coming from the shared wall.

I have kept music really down/ off last few nights.

OP posts:
puppysleepdeprivation · 21/09/2026 21:15

Well, that problem's solved (or soon will be)! When your new neighbour moves in, be on your best behaviour in terms of noise levels. Invest in some decent earphones or something. Use this time to think of anything else that may have driven your old neighbour bonkers and avoid those things from now on. When in doubt, ask your other neighbour (or AI, perhaps) if what you're doing or considering doing is acceptable or infuriating. Best of luck! Grin

HandMadeInYorkshire · 21/09/2026 21:12

Sounds to me that you're lucky not to be evicted.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 21/09/2026 20:51

It seems you obviously know full well you’ve been unreasonable with your music so why is her behaviour the issue?

PineConesAndBerries · 21/09/2026 20:18

Yupstillhere · 21/09/2026 00:19

Bagpipes, give it up, this isn't real.

She might have just looked up bagpipe music on YouTube to play specifically to annoy OP

Onlyme7575 · 21/09/2026 19:54

Blushingm · 20/09/2026 11:39

The you are unreasonable and have probably been irritating your neighbour for ages. Why would you think music on loud past 11pm is ok?

Show quote history

Exactly this.my old witch of a neighbour was quiet with her kids all week,soon as all the kids were off to their dads very loud sex and headboard banging.no respect or thought of anyone else whatsoever

SplendidUtterly · 21/09/2026 19:17

I think this post is real.
Years ago I had neighbours who would do this every Sunday evening.
An older couple, who would have the same cd on repeat for hours. I could hear it word perfect (think traditional iIrish music) It drove us mad !

Troublein · 21/09/2026 19:10

Get ready OP, your new neighbours will hate you too.

I expect you do more things to make living next to you hell, but all it takes to solve the music issue (unless you are one of those annoying people who stomp around drumming on things to music which you'd also need to stop) is to buy a pair of wireless headphones and not screech at the top of your voice.

LilacMeadows123 · 21/09/2026 19:08

Sounds like you deserve it. You don’t sound like a nice person. You really shouldn’t expect your neighbour to have to spell it out to you that blaring music every Saturday night till last 11pm is completely selfish and rude.

DuckDuckG00se · 21/09/2026 19:05

@beanbeery there's a lot you can learn from this. It doesn't really matter if she's been passive aggressive given she's moving so soon, but ultimately you now know your music habits are very antisocial.

Please invest in some decent wireless headphones and refrain from singing along past 9pm

jdb9803 · 21/09/2026 19:00

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

What did she say when you approached her?

What...you haven't, you've just whinged on MN?

BeGutsyGoldMoose · 21/09/2026 18:46

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

This is very unreasonable behaviour. I would be banging on the door if my neighbours played loud music at that time of night. Some people have to work and it is very selfish behaviour. Even if your neighbour doesn't work weekends it is still very unreasonable to expect them to endure your racket at night.

MMUmum · 21/09/2026 18:24

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

Then stop it, you must drive yr neighbour up the wall, you sound incredibly selfish

MMUmum · 21/09/2026 18:15

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:37

I will be honest but sometimes it does go past 11pm and it must be loud if she can hear it.
The music is quite loud as if you were singing loudly.

Her music was loud and could here word by word.

Why would you do this when it sounds as if you know you are in the wrong? Just get some headphones and try to be a better neighbour

Bedlingtonwarrior · 21/09/2026 18:14

You could buy a very decent pair of headphones.
Problem solved !!!

WalmartWitney · 21/09/2026 18:10

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:46

But surely she could have just approached me about it?

There is also horse manure by her side of the drive where I walk with my DC.
Not very nice.

Edited

But surely you could just have not been so inconsiderate to begin with. This is on you. Not nice is it?, when other people start doing things you may consider annoying.

wiredandtired · 21/09/2026 17:53

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 11:41

Last month I would say the music has been on about 7 times and last Saturday it was from 6pm - 11:30pm.

I have only been playing music since the summer.
The walls are very thin. Its a terraced house.

Why would you do that? That would drive me absolutely mad. I'm not surprised your neighbour is responding this way. You live in a terraced house with thin walls. Stop it.

Dancingintherain09 · 21/09/2026 17:04

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 15:16

We used to talk, get each others parcels, I even suggested the company that did her carpets in her house, so its not like we have never spoken/ got on.
She would even talk to my mum about gardening!
She called my step dad to do her blinds.

She really could have just approached me about it.

Our mutual friend has said they were due to move first week October and have already handed in their notice to the Council but now will be calling them on Monday to see if they can end the tenancy this week and will move in with family until then!

She has also just moved the manure right next to my fornt door but on her side.

The manure cannot be stored within certain distances of neighbouring properties. It can be reported to environmental health. As it can cause health issues such as flies and rats

NewNameW · 21/09/2026 13:46

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

You've forced them out of their own home with your noise, it was that intolerable they literally have decided to move out - your off out speaking to your neighbours about HER noise, and your wondering why she doesn't want to make chit chat?

Ofc she's gonna do it now she knows it's pissing you off enough you've complained to your neighbours, the sheer cheek 😂

Zucker · 21/09/2026 13:06

beanbeery · 20/09/2026 22:13

I appreciate that I have not been very considerate.

I saw her earlier and said "Hi you okay?"
She just stared at me and laughed before walking off saying "Wow, are you serious for real?"

She has also been doing the bag pipe noise again and playing loud music.

It is as if because they are moving they are getting their own back.

Edited

That's exactly what they are doing, why are you finding this so hard to understand? You've been the obnoxious neighbour, so much so that they're urgently looking for somewhere else to go!
Be more considerate of the next neighbours you get!