To think if a 33 year old has kids

Oh stop it. I’m 36 and expecting my first….

52? Did she do it the old-fashioned way - i.e. donor eggs or her own previously frozen eggs?

If you are able to conceive naturally then it's very clearly not too late!

Someone I know had their fourth child at 52 with a new much younger partner. She always looks very happy with life and her lovely little boy?

horses for courses. If we are still fertile then intrinsically we are ready and able to reproduce.

I agree. They probably don't use the term 'geriatric pregnancy' but I've had it on good authority that 40 years ago, 28 was considered what would be termed today 'advanced maternal age'.

I'd have thought it would be past 30 to be honest. 28 seems to have been a bit too young to be considered of advanced maternal age even 40 years ago but I absolutely trust that the person telling me this was correct.

I had mine at 35 and 40 after starting to try at 32. You don't have a clue about your fertility until you start trying so really depends how many children you are hoping for. The pregnancies themselves were very easy, no sickness, no issues until breech with the first.

51 here, and we didn't live in a different era from people who are 30 today, thank you very much! You've just made me feel really old, lol! An era is a long period of time, much more than twenty years, which isn't even a full generation! (For sociological purposes, a generation is defined as being 25 years.)

I see no difference at all in norms regarding childbearing from 20 years ago to today. First child is a couple of years later but that's probably due to the cost of living crisis rather than enough time to have passed for norms to be from a different era! And people who are 30 and 50 both grew up in the "era" of Elizabeth II. The world wasn't THAT much different twenty years ago! Unless you think we spoke an earlier form of English in 2006 and wrung our clothes through a mangle???

No I know lots of people who had first or second or third babies around aged 40 and a few up to age 50. I would say that energy levels to look after the kids deplete. After having my second at 35 then I reflect that having them in my mid 20s when I had a lot of energy and less worries about my own parents, and a less demanding career, and the ability to stay awake all night, this would have been a better time to have young children for me personally.

So what happens to a woman who has kids at 40. She's a shit mum? She drops down dead from exhaustion? Anyone healthy and financially and emotionally capable of having children is the right age. Whether that be 26 or 42.

I had a dc at 33
Then 4 more.

At 35 fertility rapidly decreases. There’s also increased risk of complications including baby with disabilities due to ‘advanced maternal age’. Previously geriatric pregnancy.
So a 35 year old is likely to find it hard to get pregnant. And very few do without IVF etc at 40.
It’s just a biological fact.

Just looked it up. 35 is considered to be an ‘Advanced maternal age’ pregnancy, (modern term for ‘Geriatric pregnancy’) at the time of delivery, and is when pregnancy complications can increase.

You can have kids until you physically can have kids. Lots of people can still have babies in their early 40s and it's not unheard of for some women to fall pregnant at the age of 45 plus (though obviously a lot less common and more difficult). I had my two at 35 and 39. No issues.

My Grandmother had her first baby at 16 and her 16th at 46. I had my first at 21 and my fourth at 28. Having lived through most of my life now, I can tell you that I was a lot more tired when I was 50 than I expected to be, I often thought “Thank Goodness I haven’t got teenagers to deal with as well!” That would be the only downside for me. I would have loved to have carried on having babies, because I loved pregnancy and babies, and would have coped well with that stage even in my late forties.

I agree with you although it all depends. If you are middle class and most of your friends and peers are busy building careers then you will find many, if not most first time parents will be in their 30's, even 40's. However, other people may see 35+ as being too old for your first child.

I had my dc at 32 and 35, not through choice because I have endometriosis and getting pregnant was not easy for me, I wanted my dc in my late 20's. During my infertile years I had made a decision if I had not fallen pregnant after 35 I would not have had children. 35 was my cut off point, it's too old imo and I still stand by that for myself. My dc are now 18 and 21 now and I would not want younger children into my 50's, perimenopause and dealing with elderly parents has been rough.

Thankfully most of my friends were a similar age so I don't feel too out of it although I do have many friends my age who had kids in their 20's and are now just starting out as grandparents which I think is perfect because they are still so young to run around after young gc, I do envy that.

Personally I think being over 35 as a first time parent is too old but that is simply my own personal choice. I know several people who had children in their late 30's and 40's (I have my own opinion on that and keep it to myself).

What a bizarre response. There are large numbers of studies that demonstrate the correlation between the mother's social class, level of education and the age at which she has her first child -- and not just in London (?), or the UK. Studies in other countries show a similarly strong correlation.

You grasp that London also has a wide variety of level of prosperity/deprivation, right? I was living in London when I had DS, and saw my midwife at two different medical centres during the pregnancy. One was in a well-to-do area, and the other pregnant or newly-delivered women were around my age (late 30s and over). One was in a much more deprived area and I was the same age as the grandmothers-to-be waiting with their pregnant daughters.

I mean, it's not exactly news.

Presumably OP was drunk when she posted and is now snoozing it off in her childfree home 😂

Fertility drops by about 4% at 35. Other lifestyle factors can also influence the likelihood and health of a pregnancy, including those of the father, so its just not true as a broad statement.

That's ridiculous OP. Why would 35 be too old?

For me, yes I would be.
My personal cut off was 35 no matter what happened.
But more and more are having them later.. My friend just had one at 45. Definitely not for me, could think of nothing worse.
But this question has a different answer for everyone. None are right or wrong.

28 was considered to be a geriatric pregnancy 40 years ago.

It's fiction but Reginald Perrin was a grandfather to two toddlers by 47.
I say this just to refute any suggestions that having babies young is some kind of poverty phenomenon as he was clearly middle class.

This book was written about 50 years ago.

The oldest of my grandparents was 45 when I was born.

Then again the stereotypical granny was grey-haired in a rocking chair knitting in 1980. The song 'grandma' was about then.

So it doesn't make sense. Maybe they meant great, great grandma.

I agree, it’s geographical.

I live in a very nice, very middle class area of Wales. I moved here from the city. I had my first baby at 31 and compared to all of the other new Mum’s around me I am older. But I was the first of my friendship group from the city to have a child.

It’s a completely different world here and I felt I had loads of time in the city, I feel old when I go to the school gates here. They definitely aren’t having babies in their teens but I would say almost all by their mid twenties. The fact that there’s 100’s of thousands of pounds difference between the houses definitely makes a difference. I wouldn’t have raised a child in the area we could afford to buy in, in the city. Here it’s bought us a 4 bed detached house in a very nice area.

I think that in a way yanbu.
I suppose the older you are the more aware of what might go wrong and become overprotective whereas a younger mother may just take it in her stride.

I would say into your late thirties it simply gets harder. Not impossible, harder. More miscarriages, general infertility, higher risk of complicated pregnancies & disability. Your body also can struggle to "bounce back". You might think a gym/health regime is keeping you young but its cosmetic, biologically you are still not what you were at 25. You are older, your eggs are older.

Lots of people take a year or two to conceive or need ivf. Dil waited til 35 to start trying (husband was 37). Spent a year trying, nothing. Paid for ivf, first egg cycle failed. Had extra treatment, got some eggs from second cycle First egg implant didnt take. She got there with second but by this time was nearly 38 and its cost them thousands, they cant afford a second.