I’m hugely hormonal at the moment so I don’t know if this has just broken me because of circumstances or whether next week I wouldn’t think this would be such a big deal.
Ex usually sees dd 5 for two weekends in a row then one weekend off. This is due to his work and rota. He gets the rota every 3 months. Every time it is coming up I ask him to ensure he isn’t back to back working shifts and he organises so he has consistency with dd. If that can’t happen due to colleagues’ plans then he sometimes books annual leave for a day or two to ensure he sees her. I can’t underestimate how little he does for her practically. He never once did a nursery run and unlikely to do a school run. I would love it if he did more for her as I am exhausted working full time. And yes I’ve asked.
every time the rota is arranged he won’t tell me straight away. I feel like it’s a form of abuse which I know sounds dramatic but it’s so controlling. I am hanging on by a thread at work etc and need to know the weekends he will actually be part of her life. When I say weekends, he turns up at 11am Saturday and leaves 5pm Sunday, staying in a hotel overnight. So he gets a full break even when he’s here.
AIBU to find this very controlling? And totally lacking any awareness of why I need to know these dates as soon as possible? I feel like my every moment is just given to work, dd or in the hands of ex. I know there is childcare options etc but I am not made of money. Just feel so sick with stress, I can’t plan anything.