Is he the bastard I think he is or am I the problem?

I’d try to stop organising your entire life around facilitating his contact. He’s her parent too - let him do some of the legwork. Tell him you need his dates by a reasonable deadline and, if he doesn’t provide them, make your own plans.
Your daughter is still small. Take her places with you, invite friends over, build a life that doesn’t depend on whether he happens to be available that weekend. If he ends up having her fewer nights than the number used for the CMS calculation, get the calculation updated accordingly.
I also think some counselling might help -
not because your feelings aren’t valid, but because you sound completely exhausted and as though his rota has ended up controlling your ability to enjoy your own life. You can’t make him be a more involved parent, but you can stop carrying the responsibility for making his parenting happen.

Why do you need to remind him everything about his shifts. He’s a grown up, so treat him like one.
you have no time to exceed oer or see friends - kindly, you can have time and you do have time you just to organise your life better

TELLING them doesn’t work.

Stop communicating, be unreliable and go out for the day when he might turn up. Have him chasing around after you. He'll soon want to pin down a schedule.

Honestly, you might be better off just acting like he is not in the picture. Plan for him not being around and when he does tell you that he is coming up for the weekend say "oh I didn't hear from you so we made plans - sorry. Maybe she can see you for an hour on Saturday afternoon" or even "oh I didn't hear from you so we made plans sorry - can't do this weekend - if you let me know in future when you get your shift, then I'll make sure it works" and keep doing and repeating.

I know it is hard being the only parent with no break. But what he is doing is doing your head in. Not relying on him at all might be emotionally easier on you.

Is he seeing your dd at your house? Just stop that right now. he moved away - he has to figure it out.

Just tell him you have organised childcare. The more you ask the more power he holds. Appear not to give a shit
I hope you claim cms.

His Very Important Job needs to benefit his dd.

that's so sad for your daughter. my eldest sons dad has always been on and off and he lives in another county by his own choice and would prioritise raves and new GFS and all sorts but he hasn't seen our son in 5 months now and tbh my son hasn't even mentioned it. He is 8 and has autism and I think he doesn't quite understand the dynamics of relationships but it's heartbreaking as a mum to watch someone who should be on the same level as you with how much you love and care for this child. I couldn't imagine seeing my son so little and going about my day like life was fine. I don't know how some parents do it.

Why doesn’t she stay in the hotel with him?

How far away did he move?

Are his family not involved at all?

He should be taking her to the hotel with him.

friend of mine does that every other week as his ex moved home to care for her mother. No need for him to be bringing her back to you for the overnight.

He enjoys the control he has over you. I’d be considering taking that by telling him that you need the dates he wants your Dd with X amount of notice or you’ll be organising childcare as you’ll be working. Only took actually sticking to that once with my ex before he stopped that game.

Don't waste your time and headspace on him. He can do what he wants, that's up to him. All you can control are your own actions. Honestly, why are you running around after him. If he doesn't give you dates in time then he can't see her, it's that simple. It's up to him to arrange it or it doesn't happen.

Focus on yourself. Get a routine that works for you. Does your dd go to breakfast and after school clubs?

This arrangement isn't working. It's not clear if you work weekends. Why can't he ever have her through the week. It just sounds a chaotic arrangement all to suit him.

Control over your emotions. Power over you. He’s probably angry that you separated and feels “helpless” that he has responsibilities he’s expected to fulfill as a parent and he “lets off steam” by doing things that he knows make you feel angry and helpless too. This is a pretty well-known psychological mechanism.

I feel for you OP, it sounds like you aren't getting any breaks and also the time you have free is irregular and he'd being controlling about the notice he gives you. i'd find that very difficult to cope with.

I assume he doesn't actually have your daughter overnight when he is visiting, is there any chance of him actually doing more than just visits in the future?

It's not about time off, it's time for the OP can work without paying all her wages on childcare by the sound of it.

If you just accept you are doing this alone it might be easier - then you can at least drop the planning and organising

why is he coming to your house?

my 5 year old would be fed up of she had to stay in the house all day waiting for her dad to show up and hang out there - we get up and out for the day on the weekends

he sounds like a loser but what’s the point in chasing him to parent if he’s useless and unreliable

i’m so sorry to read what you’re going through, but just know that you’re not alone. I am going through something incredibly similar. My ex partner has our child every other weekend and once on a Friday for tea. He will often cancel the Friday for tea and not let me know he’s never around to help does no school runs, appointment clubs, activities, parents evening, School assemblies. He absolutely refuses to parent and every other weekend is the only time he parents and usually my son comes home to say he’d been left with his older brother on the Saturday evening. I’m at my Wits end. My son is eight almost 9 and he’s starting to see it for himself. It’s sad but this man completely refuses to parent with me. if I called he ignores me, if I text he ignores me he has no involvement and no want for involvement with his child. What can we do?

I think your life would be calmer and you could set up good routines if you take him out of it entirely. If he actually wants to see her, you could tell him you need 7 days notice and plan according to that. Otherwise, take the stress out of your life.

Do you just have one child?

I don’t have a lot of helpful advice as I know that it’s impossible to get a man to be a better parent than the shitty one he has decided to be, but you are certainly not wrong to think he’s a bastard.