Awful woman slagging off my family home

Buyer's remorse.

Shame she couldn't afford a deluxe finished house. Maybe she needs to work harder and earn more money.

She sounds a bit chippy. Maybe it's that. You've presumably upgraded by moving to a bigger/nicer house and she has bought your old house you didn't want any more. So she's put out that people might think you're "better" and griping about the house to try and lower the opinion other people might have of you?

That's all very speculative of me but the same thing happened to my sister. Was selling her house to move to a bigger one. A work colleague who'd always been very friendly excitedly told her that she too was moving to a new house. After the agent confirmed names they realised colleague was buying sisters house. Colleague suddenly got very cold towards sister and started moaning to others about aspects of the house, how it had been badly maintained etc. She seemed to have a complex about having bought the "cast off" of someone she knew. Weird but it does happen.

Like you said @misscee5, just flip it - the house was good enough for her when she bought it, not good enough for you when you sold it.

My guess is that she probably wanted a house that was more finished, and couldn't afford it so bought a house that needed some modernisation. She resents that it needs the work because buying a house that needs work isn't what she wants.

Try not to let it get to you. If you had modernised it, she still wouldn't have had it because the price you sold for would be higher.

I wonder how the conversation went and if your friends’ stood up for you?

Theyre all like this on tiktok

Just slagging off the previous tenants/owners as soon as they move in. People are vile honestly, just defend yourself if she tries it within earshot x

If she bad mouths you to other school mums, I’d be tempted to say “did she tell you how much she underpaid for it”

Presumably you’ve moved to somewhere bigger and better? And she got what she paid for? If she’d had more money, she’d have bought somewhere that didn’t need
work. The price she paid reflected the condition of the house she purchased. If you hear any more rumours, start your own. And remind people that she’d have had to scrape together a hell of a lot more money if it had been in perfect condition… She’s got herself a bargain really! She should be thanking you.

Since she moved in she has apparently been slagging me off to old neighbours, friends and anyone who’ll listen it

This would ring alarm bells for me that she feels comfortable enough with them to slag you off.

Oh who gives a fig if she’s a bit “cold” at the school gate. Drop your child, speak with your friends or just walk on

It's not personal against you. The person is talking about their own house. If it was so crap then more fool them for buying it surely?
There's no implication your family are scruffy, dirty etc. Or if there is it's coming from the messenger who you admit is a shit stirrer.
It's being translated from
'oh my new bathroom needs xyz what a pita' to 'the person who sold me the house is a skanky tramp'. Which is a pretty big leap.
The house is none of your concern anymore and that friend isn't helpful telling you all this.

Id be tempted to start a shitty rumour about her too.

I would say hello to her at the school gates, how are you settling in, did you get the bathroom done yet, etc. There is probably something lost in translation/shit stirring/embellishment but not much point holding onto imaginary resentment about it. You might as well know for sure, if she says it is awful you can respond accordingly, if she gives a more normal response you can ignore your “friend” hearsay.

Different people have different standards, that's all.

There’d be no response from me. Just completely ignore and move on

It only reflects badly on her if she didn't read the survey before exchanging. Nothing should have been a surprise. Don't give it another thought op.

She didn’t view it with a blindfold on would be my stock response.

If it was so bad why did she buy it? And how is she living there with her children if she thinks it was not fit for children to live in when she bought it? I assume she didn't go to a hotel for a few months while it was totally refurbished.

She got a survey?

YANBU at all. Some people are just rude and nasty and insecure. Yes, you could say something to her (and you'd be totally justified), but it would be more effective to take the high road. When she speaks ill of you and your former home, she looks bad. Very bad.

You've been nothing but kind (fizz was a lovely gesture!). Keep doing that, and you'll look good.

You say she was the friend of a friend. Could you have a quiet word with your friend, and see if this woman has form for this?

If she ever insults your former home to your face, stay calm, breathe and...let it hang. Or, try a good ol' Mumsnet-suggested reply, e.g. 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

Sending you big hugs!

It sounds like you have an unusual group of friends