Awful woman slagging off my family home

Why is everyone telling you? It is quite normal for people to renovate when they move in to a new house. They are choosing to discuss what she said. Are you probing and looking for details or are they for some reason trying to upset you?

Sorry, OP. That situation sounds annoying, but there’s really nothing you can do about it. Try to distract yourself with something else when you start to think about it. She knew exactly what she was buying - or she should have done, assuming she had working eyes and a survey done.

I bet in a few months time y will find her tactlessness upsets the neighbours or other mutual acquaintances
she sounds terribly rude
youll probably find she falls out with the workman or parks inconsiderately or creates other dramas for herself

find a handy phrase youre happy with - like you didn’t want the hassle of putting a bathroom in your old house before moving into your lovely new one !
say she got a bargain! Or the great thing is she can put her own stamp on it now - anything that makes her look rude and makes it clear you’ve moved on to better things

You can’t control what this person says or does so you can stress about it or you can let it go.

easier said than done I know!

I think that's the way to go. People buy houses that they wouldn't live in with a view to making it right for them. This is why people add extensions and, rip out fireplaces and all sorts of things.

They don't understand how the previous family tolerated it simply because they wouldn't have been able to tolerate it themselves, and literally everyone is different.

What an absolute bitch.

I remember pulling up in my driveway and seeing a car and a woman I didn't recognise in the house next door which had been for sale.

"Oh hello" I said "have you just moved in? You're very welcome. My name is x, this is my DC"

She cut in and went on a tirade about how she was trying to move in but the place was filthy, so disgusting blah blah blah.

I was completely taken aback. I hadn't been particularly friendly with the previous owner but she didn't know that. I wrapped up the conversation and went inside saying to DH I had a bad feeling about the new neighbour. He said I was jumping to conclusions.

Well my instincts were right. She is a total knob. I'd think the same thing about this women talking about your home. How nasty given people know you. She should just shut her mouth and get on with whatever work she wants to do.

However I don't understand people telling you. That's insensitive. Of course you're embarrassed. I have since met my previous neighbour and I wouldn't dream of repeating what her successor said about her home.

@theneighbourgotmycake ‘s family
home in pic

My L3 survey didn’t spot that the old owners had built their extension over a public sewer manhole without the correct building regs… they’d put carpet over it and a large desk over that.

I think you’re very caught up in what people thing of you.

You don't need to explain. There's clearly a huge difference in saying "there's lots of work to do, but we're enjoying making it ours" vs "ugh there's so much work to do, the place is awful, I don't know how she was living there with kids".

I moved into a scruffy house and the bedroom and ensuire absolutely stank of wee, even with the carpet up. When the neighbours asked how things were going I just talked positively about their old friends lovely house and some of the bits and pieces that we were getting done. When I talked to my friends who didn't know the guy I went into a bit more detail about the sad state he'd (unavoidably) left it in. It's not hard to get right and you're not wrong to be upset about it. But it only reflects badly on her, not you so don't be embarrassed.

I don't believe that a wall that need replastering and one that the owner felt needed repainting are just cosmetic, no.

You are the one who seem to translate comments as a personal attack, and blowing every comment out of proportion.

Again, all the people she talks to will have check out your former property online anyway.

I think you are a bit cheeky, you describe your former house as needing a lot of work and renovation, but are miffed that the new owner is not fawning over how beautiful you left it. Can't' have it both ways!

I remember a number of years ago the property section of a newspaper did a feature on a particular house that was for sale. I knew the woman who was selling it as she had a child in my DD's class. They had fully renovated the house and she went on in the newspaper about how awful it had been when they bought it but they had spent a lot of time and money on it. I was so angry because I knew who they had bought the house from and she had lived there for years in a loveless marriage with a husband who was having constant affairs. Spending money on updating her house wasn't a priority and even then it could have been down to taste rather than poor maintenance.
Houses always look different when you remove all the furniture and belongings. My mum's lounge faces south and gets the sun. She has a peach carpet that has been down for years and has bleached because of the sun. Her bedroom above it probably has the same issue with its carpet. With the furniture in place you can't see the bleaching but when the house is eventually sold (she keeps talking of downsizing) and her furniture is removed a new owner is going to need to replace those carpets.

This is only a reflection on her, it’s an awful way for her to behave. If this is how she feels she should keep her comments to herself or family who do not know you.

we had neighbours who bought a house a few doors down. They actually said that the previous owners lived like pigs and the house was filthy. The previous owners were well
liked and we knew this wasnt true, nobody listened to a word this moaning nob had to say, he just made himself look nasty. Try not to take it to heart.

What is indirectly being alleged is that your children were being brought up somewhere unsuitable. The words 'child neglect' are not being used, but that could be taken to be the insinuation.

So you would be reasonable to object to any comment being made to the parents of children at the same school as yours. Hopefully it won't be.

dated in places and did need work - things that were obvious upon viewing like the old bathroom, some walls needed replastering

I contemplated repainting some of the walls because of marks etc but ran out of time for that.

so you are pissed off because she's just factual about the state of the house?

When people starts work the minute they got the keys, it's normal to wonder how the previous owners put up with everything for so long. It clearly needed doing, it's about the house, not you personally.

Our house seemed fine on the open weekend. And we had a survey done.

The more we gently removed (carpets, wallpaper) we found mould underneath, and the whole place just stank really - which on the open weekend with all the doors open and a flow of people, wasn't noticeable. We couldn't understand how someone had been living here. They didn't have young children though.

We were fortunate enough to have retained another property and stayed there for 7 months whilst a totally unexpected rip out and full renovation occurred. It was just all musty and grimey. We didn't think every single carpet would stink so badly that we had to replace them all at once.

If she has no option but to live there, she may well be seriously pissed off now renovation skeletons are coming out of the closet so to speak. It's not your fault. But it was your house that she's now having issues with and paying the price for. Maybe she is "discovering" stuff that isn't survey/structural issue, so expected you to have been more open to point out the condition that may not be noted as seriously as it needed to be in a half hour viewing. Particularly as you were acquaintances .

Just tell her the £5k savings should pay for the paint.

Don't worry about it. Next time she wants to move into a showroom, she should look properly! We all know that once furniture is out of a house it can be a bit scruffy looking.

I used to have a lovely neighbour around the corner who sold up to move nearer her daughter. Chatted to the new owners mum, who ran my neighbour down, remarking on the filth and the state of the place. She looked a little shame faced when I asked is she realised her daughter bought a house from a lady who was registered blind. People judge! Let them get on with it, pay no attention.

Very upsetting for you @misscee5 As with a previous poster a friend’s house was sold to some people who started posting the ‘renovation’ of the house on Instagram. They kept posting about how it was a ‘hoarder’ house and other things. It upset my friend terribly. Especially as the reason for selling her house was her DP dying. Her house wasn’t perfect by any means and the buyers were fully aware of what they were getting.
My DH and I have completely gutted our most recent house. This was partly due to our tastes, partly due to things that definitely needed replacing or repairing. Hopefully it’s the last time we move.Yes it is frustrating when some bodge jobs are discovered and it’s OK to moan privately. What is to be gained by advertising it to all and sundry? If it’s any consolation OP I would say that most folks probably think very badly of her not you.

It is a lesson learned. Don’t shit where you eat. Crass but true. Business favours and fake friendships don’t mix. If you’re ever moving on again, sell to a stranger. Some people are never happy. Don’t shy away from her, you know that the house was clean. I’d be happy she’s ignoring me, I’d give her a reason to continue ignoring me by asking her what her issue is , you’ve nothing to lose, reminding her the price reflects the work required or say we didn’t bother as it was always temporary moving on to better things. Enjoy.