AIBU to think a teenage son would not be spoiled by this?

I’d hazard a guess that your friend is used to feeling superior to you and all of a sudden there’s the prospect that your child has something her children don’t and, well, we can’t have that.

What kind of friends do your children have?! My kids are young adults now but at no stage have I ever worried that their friends would trash their room at any age.

OP I think your friend is jealous that her son doesn’t have this extra room despite them being a wealthier family. Go for it, and I hope your son loves it!

Of course it’s not spoiling him, it’s giving him his own space in the house where he lives. Our daughter has lots of the upstairs of ours - huge dressing room, bathroom, bedroom, sitting room. Why not? There’s only so many spare rooms you could need ‘just in case’, and I hate seeing space go to waste when it could be used and enjoyed.

Sounds like a brilliant setup, I’m sure your son will love it! I think as long as he realises how lucky he is - and demonstrates this by keeping his spaces clean and tidy - there’s no problem…

We have a spare lounge that has been used by some kids (not others - their choice), and ours are now adults. We never had what you describe, that sounds really odd and if that were to occur I’d think there were much bigger parenting issues at play!

It isn't going to spoil him and extra space for teens can be great but I agree with those suggesting that a space linked to other family spaces might be a better way of keeping connection.

My DC had a sitting room to share. It also had a sofa bed so sometimes they were turfed out in favour of guests!
It was great. They had somewhere to play and later game with their friends and I had peace in the sitting room. If you have the space it is very worth doing.
Your friend is being ridiculous.

It won't spoil him. However I wouldn't give him a sitting room next to his bedroom. Like a pp I preferred to have us all nearer, particularly when friends come over. We were fortunate to have several reception rooms so one just naturally became the teen lounge. Separate from our lounge and private but meant nobody was traipsing off upstairs out of the way.

Space for teens to socialise is good. Being in. House is safer/warmer etc than hanging around outside.

When I was a teen people often came to our house and there was a separate sitting area but like a pp it wasn’t isolated from the main living space. They would pop in/out on the way for tea/coffee/snacks as would my younger siblings.

A small degree of parental oversight is still useful at that age.

I put YABU for listening to your friend here. It’s none of her business.

I don’t know which way to vote but you absolutely must let your ds have the extra room.

My teen ds has a huge bedroom with a double bed, sofa and en-suite bathroom and he’s definitely not spoilt. He has friends round and keeps it all very tidy.

It’s a great idea. It won’t spoil him. I’m of the opinion that if I have nice things, my kids also deserve nice things.

Your friend sounds like a miserable cow.

Absolutely ignore your friend. Well-done and congrats on your lovely new home!

Why not would give him somewhere to sit with his friends and you some peace! Your friend should mind her own business what’s it got to do with her anyway

@HelmholtzWatson Good heavens! There’s no reason why a teenager’s sitting room should get ‘trashed’ by his friends.

OP, I think it’s a lovely idea and your son is at an age when a separate room where he can study or entertain his friends will be increasingly useful.

I can see your friend's point. Your son's friends (and not friends) might feel he's spoiled having his own lounge.

Plus, you realise this room is going to get trashed by your son's friends (and not friends)? What if his half a dozen close friends quickly turns into 20 friends when they realise they have a "safe space" to hang out?

I think there are lots of unforeseen consequences here, and the chances you have to take the room off him and cause unnecessary conflict are pretty high imo.

If the op lived in Buckingham Palace I would agree but I don't think ome extrs room means he has joined a silent retreat

Who is going to clean it and keep it in order?

I wouldn't be worried about spoiling but l liked to keep our teens in the family circle so l would think twice about him having his own space and cutting himself off. We were lucky enough to have an extra sitting room. We all used it but if kids had their friends around we just didn't go in there that night. My kids are adults now but l am a firm believer in keeping the family together as much as possible. Our kids only went to their rooms for bed, their choice but if they had had their own sitting room l fear they would have been in there full time. And 14 is young.

How lovely! You don’t avoid spoiled children by denying them things you can afford. The best way to avoid children from becoming entitled is by giving them reasonable jobs to do around the house (or indeed outside the house) and by making sure you’re a family who discusses inequality and tries to challenge it where you can. He can grow up to be a decent human being regardless of how much space he has in the new house.

That’s mad. I wish we had a space where my teens could bring their friends and have some privacy. How lucky, your house will be the cool place to hang out. So many benefits in that! Ignore your friend.

I don't get the logic how on earth would a child be spoilt by this? Americans have basements for kids sometimes

She is deluded

I don't think your friend is really that concerned your DS will turn out spoiled, I think shes more concerned her DC will be jealous and doesn't want the "why does Neonectarines DS have his own living room and I don't".

I’m the youngest of two. When I was ten my mum went back to full time work so there was more money. One of the first things my parents did with that extra money was to have our loft converted into a