AIBU to think a teenage son would not be spoiled by this?

not from privilege but when we moved into our new house (which is actually a really old house that’s in need of complete renovation) we gave this biggest room to our two teen boys. They have to share. But there room is big enough that they have their own pretty big gaming desks each, beds, wardrobes and a double sofa bed for friends to sleep over on. Plus enough floor space to seemingly play a football match in Ha! We promised them that we would give them the big room etc because they share and they are growing boys. Our room isn’t that much smaller and the other kids rooms are decent sizes but theirs is like 16ft sq. they have their friends over. They keep pride in their room (it was one of the first rooms decorated so it’s much nicer than the rest of the house). But the good thing is - they aren’t and don’t want to hang about doing nothing in the street. They are content to have friends over and hang at home. To me, that’s priceless. Let your friend set the rules she wants and you do you. If he abuses the privilege then take action. But a small living space if you can give it will help to teach him how to keep pride in his area. Obviously not everyone can do this and some kids have to share space or have small rooms but if you had the ability to give your kids more (providing they are good kids) why wouldn’t you? Why punish him for potentially becoming spoilt without giving him the chance to be otherwise?

This was exactly my thought

It won’t spoil him. Things like letting your kids always get their way and have everything they want despite bad behaviour are what spoils them, not cool living spaces. Ignore your friend.

My son has a similar set up, a small bedroom for sleeping and then a larger room with a tv, sofa bed, drum kit etc. Works well no electronics where he sleeps and space for his friends to visit without getting under my feet.

I'd hesitate to give a 14 year old boy his own little bailiwick under my roof.

Spoiling isn't the issue. The problem as I see it is creating a sense that you are all equal, and that he can do as he pleases in the space. Fourteen year old boys need no encouragement to think of themselves as gods.

It sounds nice but effectively you’ll be losing your family time with him. Is it worth waiting until he’s older so you get to spend time with him now?

Jeez, please totally disregard your friend’s comment! He’s 14 ffs, and this is just a normal thing parents would do if they had the money.

My three have a loft room we called their den, with a sofa, drum kit, games console, board games and Lego. They spend quite a bit of time up there together while I do housework in peace, but we also hang out together downstairs a lot. It works well. Will be great for your teen to have somewhere he and friends can hang out, the dream! Wouldn’t make him spoilt. Your friend is being a cow.

If he's not spoilt now how could it spoil him???

My DD has her own sitting room. It’s great. When her friends come round, they disappear off out of MY sitting room. My DD isn’t spoilt. We had the room so we did it and I’m glad we did.

what I would do is put his bedroom in the deeper space, and his sitting room on the outside space, then he can keep his bedroom entirely closed off, no one needs to be walking through etc and it'll be easier to poop your head round and see him

Your friend is a cow

What sort of person has voted unreasonable? Someone has, and they clearly think that a decent person is going to turn into an entitled brat because he has a space for his friends without a bed in it?
Normal people realise that this isn't going to happen. If a teenager is spoiled and entitled, this won't be the reason. How's it much different to a playroom?
It'll be nice for him to keep his private sleeping place private, and some of his friends might feel more comfortable, too-sometimes friends feel uneasy sitting on a boy's bed. If I had room, I'd do this.

it won't spoil him, but I wonder if it'll give him the impression that this is his space and you don't want him in yours anymore? new house, now Mom and Dad only need to see you for food once a day!

My dc have a ‘den’, which is basically a spare room with a sofa, tv and games consoles. The only thing that would hold me back is the possibility of never seeing him again when at home. My dc hang out in that room when friends are over but with us otherwise.

We have a larger home and don’t use the separate living room. One child. My hope is when he’s a teenager we will be the house him and all his mates come back to.

He will feel he and his mates have privacy from us (and us them) and I know they’re all safe and aren’t just hanging about on the streets doing god knows what’s.

Both of my children have their own sitting rooms separate to their bedrooms, as do the adults. Makes life run so much more smoothly.

In the 70s we had what DM called the Music Room (harking back to the days when the front parlour was never used) but it was basically my brothers’ den.

They had a record player and LPs, the Encyclopedia Britannica and dictionaries, a tiny 1950s b&w television in a cabinet for when programmes clashed, the piano, later a drum kit and band equipment and an Airfix modelling/craft table. One did his homework there, the other did it at the dining room table under DM’s watchful eye!
Ancient armchairs (at one point also a beanbag chair, it was the 70s) a polyester carpet and a 2-bar electric fire.
I think it was great use of the space. Nowadays it might be a gaming room with a home gym and a bluetooth projector for films!
Neither of them was spoilt.

He can be spoilt and not be spoiled. There is a huge difference! He will love it!

When I was a teenager (around 40 years ago) my mum turned what was an unused dining room into 'the back room' for me, my brother and our friends. Looking back it was the best thing ever, we were safe and inside rather than roaming the village (which we also did at times!) We had a sofa and a record player in there and all my friends thought it was the coolest thing ever!!

It’s a great idea. Tell your friend to mind her own business. How can you spoil a child with a room for god sake? Providing your not supping hookers, drugs and booze in said sitting room I think he’ll be fine!

We have a similar set up. Ds 14 has a gaming room / living room with his Xbox and gaming stuff and his bedroom- I actually think it works really well because we can hear what he’s up to online and when it’s time to go to bed he can’t be gaming all night before school! He knows how lucky he is. We aren’t super wealthy by any means but we have a good holiday every year, house is mortgage free and Ds has latest iPhone / trainers etc - but we haven’t always been like that; Ds and I have disabilities and dh didn’t have a good job until fairly recently so we’ve had years before worrying about how to afford the food bill and managing on universal credit. If you give your dc the best life you can but still talk to them about the world etc they won’t end up spoilt.

Of course it's fine. Your friend is being ridiculous.

I’d 10000% give my kids their own sitting room if I could.

I mean, you might have kids that would "trash" the place but not everyone does! My DS and his friends would never do anything like that!

What a weird take on a completely normal proposal on how to use a room 🤯