AIBU to think a teenage son would not be spoiled by this?

Your ‘friend’ is not happy your finances have improved and doesn’t want hon having a better/bigger house …..

Lots of kids have playrooms, in houses where there's two downstairs reception rooms. And then when they're older it can be a teen hangout room where you can shut the door on their noisy mates / video games / unfortunate choice of music / whatever. If you've got the space, it's a great thing.

My friend had this, it wasn't an expensive house she just had the attic space which was a large room with 2 additional rooms coming off it. Least spoiled person I knew. It was an excellent bedroom. One wall was blackboard paint. I was so jealous of her 😂 seriously though, giving a child additional space isn't going to "spoil" then (what a grim phrase too).

I think its great for him maybe involve him in the decorating and the design so he has some pride of it and explain he has to help keep it clean and tidy if hes to have friends over.

Sounds good. I stay in my bedroom when young adult dc have friends over. So they can relax. What you are planning sounds better

Do it. My DS has his bedroom plus a box room with his Xbox, TV, bean bags etc. None of his friends call him spoilt and we have no issues with friends trashing the place or anything else suggested. When he was younger he had to share a room and we had an outside toilet.

I've got a friend likes yours I think, they've got enough bedrooms for all the DC to have their own room, but is making the younger 2 share until the oldest goes to uni, for no reason I can see. I don't get it.

I dont think that would spoil a teen ds and you know your son and his personality already. I dont think giving him an extra space is going to change him completely! Like someone else said id not want it to lead to him spending less time with family but again, you know him and whether that’s likely to be an issue.

Whether or not he has this extra bit of space in your house is not going to make any difference at all to whether he’s spoiled or not.

Thats much more to do with the general values you raise him with.

Your son your choice. I think it’s ridiculous what your friend has said. However what I would be concerned about is to get teenagers to socialise as a family is hard work in itself and with that extra space may make it more difficult so I would give him that space and be extra mindful to get him to come out of his pit a little more

This is similar to us. The teen group gets the separate lounge when they’re over (and sleeping over) and we hang in the kitchen / diner / lounge (which has a big TV as well). They aren't around forever. My friend built an entire cabin (which you can sleep in) in the garden for her teens to hang out as she wanted them to be happy to hang at her’s and they do!

A space for teenagers to hang out, a former play room etc., is the norm in many houses.
Very normal.
She sounds ridiculous.
I would limit what I would be telling her.
Sounds like she prefers you in your former poor box!

It’s a great idea. We have 2 living rooms (one is joined to a dining kitchen and the other is separate). Out 10 & 12 year old regularly take over the separate one with all their friends and we retreat to the other and pop in and out to keep an eye on them. In a couple of years when we refurbish it I’ll definitely do it with them in mind and make it teenage hang out friendly. We have considered giving them a smaller bedroom each when older then making their current bedrooms into living room/study spaces but we like having a study and a box room so for now we will go with a living room downstairs kitted out with them in mind and we can revisit the individual bedroom/living space each on 1st floor if they end up here for a while as young adults

Our son has 2 rooms. A smaller bedroom and a larger den. I actually wanted to knock through a connecting door, but DH said no.
The bedroom is a quiet room for homework.
The den is massive with a couple of huge sponge-filled beanbags on the floor which are way better than a sofa. Also good for sleeping on when friends come round. 2 desks with gaming PCs, his main one and a spare for friends. And a TV.
It's decorated in his choice of colours.

The thing is, if you have the money, and you spend money on yourselves on luxuries and more space, why should member of the same family be deprived of the same privileges? That would be very mean IMO.

Sounds brilliant. Dump the ‘friend’ and get that teen lounge. You won’t regret.

If I could do this for my teenage daughter, I would in a heartbeat! How lovely!

You won’t get much longer to spoil him as a child. So do it. Give him the big bedroom and activity space. Your friend sounds a tad jealous.

We have a lounge for our teens (quite common here in Australia). Our house it is quite open plan so continuous with another part of the house but it is their space. Having teens hanging out on a big sofa and being able to provide a safe space for them is an amazing opportunity. It can be hard to stay connected with teens as they get older and we have been grateful to be able to do this.

What on earth has it got to do with her? Utter nonsense.

This sounds amazing what a great hangout for teens

We had two living rooms when I was growing up and I got one of them to hang out with my friends/ watch my own choice of tv shows in and I’m very much not spoilt!

The word is 'Jealous'

Your friend sounds jealous and quite possibly anxious that her DC will start campaigning for a similar arrangement. I wouldn't pay her much heed. If the sitting room is framed as study space (as well as somewhere to bring friends) all of your DS's things for school can live there, including his tech. As long as he doesn't smuggle his smartphone off to bed, his bedroom will be a more restful spot for bedtime reading, listening to music and sleeping, something he may very well value as school becomes more intense. Most young people have to do all their sleeping, studying relaxing and socialising in one room and are fortunate if they have the space to themselves. You can be a little more expansive; why shouldn't your DS benefit?

Absolutely brilliant idea! My best friend has a similar set up for her teen (18). He has his room with ensuite and another room decked out like a sitting room for when friends come over, not fancy people at all and just a normal 4 bed house.

You do you. Enjoy your money and treat your son to his own sitting room. You do not need to justify your decisions to anyone. Nor should you ask for permission/confirmation from strangers that your decision is right for you!

I would love to be able to do this for my DS. I'd much rather he and his friends had a safe bit (semi) private space to hang out than be wandering the streets.