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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Her next door.

94 replies

Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 18/09/2026 20:12

To think after 24 years Alice simply wasn't interested?

OP posts:
Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:42

Throwmoneyatit · 19/09/2026 14:21

I hope Sally knows that she's second choice

Well, the whole village knows that Robert Palmer used to sneak Sally through the alley (which was a common suggestive/crude idiom in that part of the West Midlands back then, and all the blokes in the Dog and Gun used to gossip like it was Coronation Street)

What made it all more intense of course, is that the village pond just opposite is the very spot where Deborah used to ride a white swan, and frankly, the regulars in the D&G have always had a pretty sour view of ‘chicks’.

CostcoFanofThree · 19/09/2026 17:43

I heard a few things about Alice, I’m not sure he didn’t dodge a bullet. A few red flags on both sides.

Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:44

66babe · 19/09/2026 17:42

Does her mother know ?

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Sylvia’s mother now FaceTimes a bloke named Fernando who takes her mind off all that 😉

Lurkingandlearning · 19/09/2026 17:45

66babe · 19/09/2026 17:42

Does her mother know ?

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Sylvia”s does. She even knows which train they are catching

Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:47

Littlejellyuk · 18/09/2026 21:13

The limousine was a game changer....
🚗

Not a brand new Cadillac? That’s a bad sign.

Maninasuitcase · 19/09/2026 17:50

Pabbel · 18/09/2026 20:46

Thats what happens living next door to Alice 😅

for 24 years?

Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:53

Hatty65 · 18/09/2026 20:30

I always thought she'd secretly been in love with him, but given up as he'd never shown any interest in her.

She found someone else, and he immediately decided he wanted her. Dog in the manger.

Good God. The theme of all those diabolical Tom Jones ditties: Alice’s wet neighbour finally drank some extra strength Nescafé, but it was too late.
She’d gorn. To Boise, with an American from the nearby USAF base.

Next scene: Alice is no more.
Wet neighbour is on the run, still clutching the weapon he bought in the very odd Duty Free.
This is why Indiana wants him. 🚓

Zoopet · 19/09/2026 18:00

I nominate this thread for classics!

DangerousLesions · 19/09/2026 18:06

Littlejellyuk · 18/09/2026 20:47

I have no idea what this thread is about, but I am already invested in the comments.
🍿 🍿 🍿

P.s. I honestly thought it was going to be a post slagging off your neighbour! 😆 🤣 😂

Generational thing. I've just got it: "I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice".

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 19/09/2026 18:09

I don't trust Sally. I think she may have been whispering stuff in Alice's ear, probably telling her that he was secretly pining for Sylvia.

Skyflier · 19/09/2026 18:11

He only wanted to get into her pants anyway!

66babe · 19/09/2026 19:28

Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:44

Sylvia’s mother now FaceTimes a bloke named Fernando who takes her mind off all that 😉

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Ah how romantic , in the firelight I assume ?

66babe · 19/09/2026 19:29

Lurkingandlearning · 19/09/2026 17:45

Sylvia”s does. She even knows which train they are catching

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Oh was it a midnight train … ?

Kidsandhouse · 19/09/2026 19:32

TotallyBogusYeah · 18/09/2026 20:34

Who the fuck is Alice?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CherryKerry · 19/09/2026 19:37

Goditsmemargaret · 19/09/2026 06:46

Sally is an absolute knob, putting her paw out for Alice's crumbs.

Don't look back in anger, I heard her say.

Agatha1989 · 19/09/2026 19:52

FFSItsTooHot · 19/09/2026 16:51

It was a song called 'Living next door to Alice' in which the singer is bemoaning the fact that he's lived next door to her for 24 years and she's shown no interest in him. And now she's moving. I think it was a hit in the late 70s for a group called Smokie,so you'd only know what the OP was talking about if you're over about 55!

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This reply 😂😂😂😂

Littlejellyuk · 19/09/2026 19:54

Millytante · 19/09/2026 17:47

Not a brand new Cadillac? That’s a bad sign.

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Sally got a mustang though... 😆 🤣 😂

Littlejellyuk · 19/09/2026 19:56

DangerousLesions · 19/09/2026 18:06

Generational thing. I've just got it: "I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice".

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I didn't twig at first glance, as was poorly with a lemsip, then the penny finally dropped after I read it out loud 😆 🤣 😂

Millytante · 19/09/2026 20:21

Littlejellyuk · 19/09/2026 19:54

Sally got a mustang though... 😆 🤣 😂

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😂

Millytante · 19/09/2026 20:29

I’m beginning to wonder though….where IS everyone? Half Alice’s old schoolmates have vanished from town. 🤔
I woke up this morning, Lucille was not in sight. I asked my friends about her, but all their lips were tight!

Pabbel · 20/09/2026 07:07

Maybe on the stairway to heaven ?

Throwmoneyatit · 20/09/2026 19:39

I heard her car had leather seats and a cd player

chergar · 20/09/2026 20:28

Sally wanted to be his Substitute

Original poster
Pumpkinsaregrowingnicely · 20/09/2026 21:49

If he says no will she give him a clout?

OP posts:
IdratherhaveaPinaColada · 21/09/2026 05:11

Lurkingandlearning · 19/09/2026 17:45

Sylvia”s does. She even knows which train they are catching

Show quote history

Could it be the last train to San Fernando?

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