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AIBU?

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WIBU to challenge school regarding 'rewards trip'?

30 replies

Gooseegando · 18/09/2026 10:22

'Rewards trip' in about a months time. Paid for and based on a list of requirements including no more than 1 absence. (Hate these things)

DS was very ill last week and had 1 day off, spent in bed with me tending to him.

Yesterday his mate who he spends all his time in school and after school, vomitted in class and was sent home. DS inevitably started doing the same last night so obviously isn't in school today.

So he has had 2 days off which excludes him from trip on paper (no refund of money paid if 'rules broken' btw so money down drain we can't really afford)

However he has been genuinely ill with something that is obviously contagious AND last year he struggled so badly with attendance that his yearly percentage was under 40%

Last year he had severe MH issues that had him under emergency measures with the GP and CAMHs.

He went down school refusal path and it was horrific.

School didn't expect him to come in on time at all, they said as long as he comes in at somepoint in the day, thats ok with us. He had CAMHs meetings, in school counselling, other hospital appointments due to physical issues (inc diet because of dramatic weightloss and stress related skin flare ups that are on going) He was averaging 2 to 3 days a week OFF school

He basically didn't attend school at all the last month of the year and school just gave up, as did we, towards the 6 weeks holidays.

So since Sep 3rd he has been getting up every morning, getting dressed. Getting to school on time (a few lates of 10 mins or so but compared to 11am etc before holidays)

He has been trying so hard and this morning he was so stressed and wanted me to take him onto school so he could be seen to be very ill and 'sent home' in hopes that wouldn't affect his rewards trip.

But I couldn't, in good conscience, send him in knowing he had caught this from his friend and so could pass it on to someone else.

If school come back and say he has lost his place on the trip WIBU to try and challenge it based on the fact he cannot possibly be expected to attend with a spreadable virus and the fact he has tried so hard over the last 2 weeks to turn EVERYTHING around??

The difference between last term and this term is night and day and although I can see that on paper he has 'failed' the criteria already, compared to last year he has made an incredible improvement and that should be taken into account?

This is all hypothetical as they haven't said anything yet but am just thinking ahead whether to just accept it if they decline or try my luck?

On one hand the rules are the rules but he has also only missed school because of genuine illness and its advised to stay home if vomiting?

Urgh. Why do they do these rewards trips at all?

Also so unfair to not get a refund!

Am not complaining about the school directly BTW (just these rewards trip thing so many of them seem to do now) they have been amazing with DS. So supportive in trying to help him and understanding what he has been going through (which also makes me think they might be willing to change the goal posts a little with him?)

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/09/2026 13:27

I don’t think that attendance based rewards should be a thing as they discriminate against children with disabilities or long term illnesses that need hospital visits etc - or just necessitate time off.

Having awards that require no unauthorised time off - fine, and this would be a good way to disincentivise term time holidays, theme park trips and the like.

3 Sept is really not very long ago though- I wouldn’t have thought it would constitute a period of time to measure and say “his attendance is good now”

Mumofoneandone · 18/09/2026 13:31

Yes, talk to the school. I think the whole way it has been set up is wrong - that you have to pay and no refund if your child then can't go! Is that even legal?!
The school should acknowledge how well your son is doing and reward the massive changes he has made. With all his previous health issues, he is probably extra vulnerable to any bugs going round.
If the school do punish him for his sickness, by not letting him on the trip, I think it is going to have a hugely negative impact on him.
I would then work through the school's complaints procedure if they do follow their harmful rules.

Wayk · 18/09/2026 13:38

You be 💯 right to challenge them. It is like they are forcing children into school when they are genuinely sick.

Dweetfidilove · 18/09/2026 13:41

YABU for signing up t9 this ridiculous trip in the first place. I'll never understand why people sign up to an activity, school or any group that spells out what it is, then 'challenge' them when it doesn't work out for them.

Children are prone to illnesses at this time of the year; so you (and the other parents) were silly to support this. If he's off more than 1 day he stays home, and the health lottery winners go.

PopcornKitten · 18/09/2026 16:40
  1. No child should be punished for illness. I would push back on that especially given all you have explained about your son and his previous school anxiety. can you clarify whether the school is distinguishing between authorised and unauthorised absence?
  2. if authorised absence is counted here you have 2 policies that by following one you are penalised by the other. D&V has a policy of non attendance for 48 hours since the last incidence. If this is followed then you are punished by the other policy and don’t meet the criteria. Definately push back.
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