WIBU to challenge school regarding 'rewards trip'?

1. No child should be punished for illness. I would push back on that especially given all you have explained about your son and his previous school anxiety. can you clarify whether the school is distinguishing between authorised and unauthorised absence?
2. if authorised absence is counted here you have 2 policies that by following one you are penalised by the other. D&V has a policy of non attendance for 48 hours since the last incidence. If this is followed then you are punished by the other policy and don’t meet the criteria. Definately push back.

YABU for signing up t9 this ridiculous trip in the first place. I'll never understand why people sign up to an activity, school or any group that spells out what it is, then 'challenge' them when it doesn't work out for them.

Children are prone to illnesses at this time of the year; so you (and the other parents) were silly to support this. If he's off more than 1 day he stays home, and the health lottery winners go.

You be 💯 right to challenge them. It is like they are forcing children into school when they are genuinely sick.

Yes, talk to the school. I think the whole way it has been set up is wrong - that you have to pay and no refund if your child then can't go! Is that even legal?!
The school should acknowledge how well your son is doing and reward the massive changes he has made. With all his previous health issues, he is probably extra vulnerable to any bugs going round.
If the school do punish him for his sickness, by not letting him on the trip, I think it is going to have a hugely negative impact on him.
I would then work through the school's complaints procedure if they do follow their harmful rules.

I don’t think that attendance based rewards should be a thing as they discriminate against children with disabilities or long term illnesses that need hospital visits etc - or just necessitate time off.

Having awards that require no unauthorised time off - fine, and this would be a good way to disincentivise term time holidays, theme park trips and the like.

3 Sept is really not very long ago though- I wouldn’t have thought it would constitute a period of time to measure and say “his attendance is good now”

I’d do this too. It’s hard to understand just how much effort it is to get kids into school when their mental health is on the floor, and how much it takes to go from 40% to even 95% attendance. The school may have their rules for rewards but they often don’t recognise significant improvement and the efforts made to achieve this.

I’d take my DD out for the day of the trip if they refused to allow her to attend following illness that required her to be absent.

What a rubbish policy that people who are genuinely ill with short or long term illnesses will be kicked off the trip and no refunds given. Surely they need to know numbers by a certain date in order to book it. And a really sad situation for your DS who is doing well and trying so hard. I would complain… they should use numbers from the previous term if they have to. But punishing kids for being unwell is unfair

I knew someone who had to do this. Kid would have been excluded from the residential if he was absent and despite ringing the school to confirm he was ill, they were unable to confirm that an exception would be made. She took him in, he was marked present and he threw up on his mate and sent home. So sad it had to be done that way but he would have been left out 4 weeks later otherwise.

Surely if he's that ill, it would be classed as an authorised absence rather than unauthorised?

There are obviously plenty of kids who do manage to get on the trip, otherwise they wouldn't do them.

Attendance is so important, it makes a huge difference to their success rates.

This.

Complain to the governors and head. It’s encouraging kids to come in with contagious illnesses. What did we learn in covid? You don’t know who has a dad doing chemo or a premature sibling in ICU. Encouraging kids to spread bugs because they want a trip can kill people

I would have started complaining about the rules from day 1.

It's not difficult for the schools not to penalise AUTHORISED absence. Up to them what they authorise or not.

Penalising for any absence is not something I would ever agree with, and I would have complained from day 1. People get sick, get injured, have relatives who die and funerals to attend, there are many valid reason to miss a day or 2.

OP I agree these rewards trips are rubbish. And also think its an absolute piss take to expect you to pay even if he doesnt go! I cant even see how thats legal!

However your son has been off sick twice in two weeks. He is the child who is bringing the whole school's average down. He has done amazingly compared to last year and that should be acknowledged but this reward trip isnt for that. However much I disagree with them the parameters are pretty clear.

Imagine how the kids who had perfect attendance the whole of last year, and then no days off in the first 6 weeks of school feel, if a child who was barely in last year and then off twice again in the first two weeks gets to go on their trip. It would make a mockery of the whole thing, and would create huge problems for the school when other parents would also demand their kids special circumstances are taken into account.

They should absolutely acknowledge and even reward him in some way for doing so much better than last year, and if they dont then you should, but at the end of the day his best is still not as good as the "average" of the others pupils.

No its not his fault he was ill but its also not his fault if hes not good at maths or sporty. You cant insist that he gets an A grade or is put in the football team regardless.

There will be very few kids who get it every single time. There will be other kids who miss out
because they were ill or had to get their
braces fitted or go to a relatives funeral - the school cant make exceptions for all of them.

Just make a big fuss that hes improved
so much this term and focus on getting
even better and hopefully meeting the
reward criteria next term.

I’d be inclined to remind them of their sickness bug policy. All schools have the 48hr rule and will send any child vomiting home immediately, then insist they don’t come back for at least 2 days. A stomach bug would therefore automatically break this arbitrary rule and last time I checked, you can’t actually help getting one… Yes you need to challenge them.

People who have not experienced a child with severe mental health issues just don't get it, in my experience. Your son has done really well to get back into school as well as he has this term. I would talk to the school and see what they say in the first instance.

But I have to say it seems really wrong to me that parents are having to pay for a "rewards" trip up front with no refund that their child may or may not get to go on, particularly as it's dependent on something as out of their control as picking up a vomiting bug.

Id Be so tempted to send him in and have him vomit all over the head teacher. Fucking awful rule. Well done to you for having more restraint.

I’m with @Lidlsbakery. Just play ignorant and send him along. Hopefully common sense will prevail. If they cancel him I’d be arguing the point that it’s their rules that prevent you sending him in.

Our school too tends to turn a blind eye. Our Head though is an absolute sweetheart who insists on seeing the best in all of them which I suppose is a good thing. Though it drives me up the wall at times “just expel the little sod”. It’s to be hoped I am never left in charge of the world.

Hope he feels better soon.

Well done to your son for turning things around this time (though good to bear in mind the possibility of bipolar as its in the family)
I would definitely talk to the school if he is excluded from the trip but if he still can't go then can you do your own reward trip with him? He really does deserve his effort being acknowledged.

I don't agree with a reward for not being unwell.
However you write "So since Sep 3rd he has been getting up every morning, getting dressed. Getting to school on time (a few lates of 10 mins or so but compared to 11am etc before holidays)"
So out of 11 schools days he's been off for 2 days and on the remaing 9 days he's been late a few times?

Our school gives strict criteria but never follow through, my son has “broken criteria” in the past, I’ve never questioned it with school, they’ve never contacted me regarding it so I’ve sent him on said trip and alls been fine.

Unless they specifically contact you to cancel his place, I’d leave it and send him on the trip.

FWIW if they did cancel him, I’d contest it then.

Well the council policy where I am is you should not be in school for 48 hours after last incident of vomiting. So basically they are rewarded for not catching a contagious bug?

using attendance in the criteria like this is unfair however has the idea of the reaward helped motivate your DS to be in school? Either way it would be reasonable for you to question him missing the trip when he has been ill and it would be a shame if this was a set back in what sounds like good progress so far this year.

The school have obviously considered that kids who have genuinely been sick will miss out, and decided that it's worth it in order to reward those with the best attendance. Challenging them would be pointless. It would undermine the whole thing if parents can just have a moan and get their kids on the trip anyway.

I think you're being unreasonable because it hasn't happened yet. Wait to find out if he's excluded before getting wound up about it.