Page 17 | AIBU to let my adult nephew move in after rent rise from my sister?

YearsOfLife · 2026-09-18T07:38:35+00:00

My nephew is 24 and has been working full time for about a year after finishing university. When he first started working full time, my sister was charging him £500 per month to live with her and her partner. She has now told him he needs to pay £800 per month which he isn’t happy about as he is trying to save for a house deposit as well as having other costs and wanting to socialise. He spends a lot of time at work or with his girlfriend and friends so I do think £800 is a lot. Our children are similar ages and my nephew has asked if he could live with us, paying £400 per month. We are happy for him to live here but it is causing a huge problem with my sister and her partner. They don’t think we should allow him to stay with us. On the one hand I can see why my sister thinks we shouldn’t get involved, but on the other, he’s our nephew and an adult and if we’re happy for him to live here, he should be able to. My sister has accused us of trying to make money from him which is untrue as we don’t charge our own children anything to live here and IF we take anything from our nephew, it won’t be £400 per month. This isn’t about money for us. I agree with my nephew that £800 is too much and want him to be able to have a life and save like my own children. AIBU to say he can live here?

VioletsTale · 19/09/2026 07:50

Franjipanl8r · 19/09/2026 06:26

She’s trying to force him to become an independent adult but you’re undoing that. You could offer him 6 months while he finds something else, but don’t un do her parenting efforts here. IMO a 24 year old shouldn’t be living at home at all.

Then why object at him moving out and accuse OP of trying to make money off him?

hattie43 · 19/09/2026 07:56

£800 is a disgusting amount to ask from her son. Your sister is only concerned about losing money . Your poor nephew .

LauritaEvita · 19/09/2026 07:59

I suspect this is all to do with your sister’s partner trying to get him to leave by upping the rent. Let him move into yours where he’s wanted.

Grumpyoldcat · 19/09/2026 08:00

£800 a month is alot for a parent to ask from their child. Sounds like they are the ones trying to make money.
If you have the space and all are happy in your household then you can do as you please. Your sister is cross because she wont be getting anything!!

EasternEcho · 19/09/2026 08:10

LauritaEvita · 19/09/2026 07:59

I suspect this is all to do with your sister’s partner trying to get him to leave by upping the rent. Let him move into yours where he’s wanted.

If so, they'd be glad to see him leave and live with the aunt.. They want him to pay 800, and are blocking him from getting cheaper accomodation. It seems like they want to profit off him. The accusation that the aunt is trying to make money off the nephew is just projection by the mother.

LauritaEvita · 19/09/2026 08:24

EasternEcho · 19/09/2026 08:10

If so, they'd be glad to see him leave and live with the aunt.. They want him to pay 800, and are blocking him from getting cheaper accomodation. It seems like they want to profit off him. The accusation that the aunt is trying to make money off the nephew is just projection by the mother.

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Again, I suspect this is the partner trying to cause trouble. He might be happy to get rid of the adult son (often a problem for a certain type of man) and get the mum to fall out with her sister too. Some men love it when their partner has fallen out with everyone and sees other loved ones as the problem. Get the nephew in with the aunty and away from it all.

Fleetingmoment · 19/09/2026 08:27

Honestly if you have the space, I’d let him move in. £800 is extortionate.

Coldwetlettuce · 19/09/2026 08:30

His mum is taking the piss charging him £800 a month for his room, unless they live in certain parts of London maybe. I think you should help him out. His sister’s priced him out of his home. She’s the one trying to make money out of him not you. Plus he’s an adult who can make his own decisions, if she has a problem with it she can take it up with him

User454545454546565 · 19/09/2026 08:36

Floppyearedlab · 18/09/2026 08:49

My sister has accused us of trying to make money from him

oh and she definitely isn’t?
What a nasty piece of work she is. She wants more from the poor lad to sleep in his childhood bedroom than I pay on my mortgage while he is on a graduate job!

Yes, I'd not be looking at my sister in the same light after this.

I'd tell her what I thought, and then say you only offered DN to stay with you because she's being grabby with her own son and he thinks the same.

What she does/charges in her own house is up to her, but the same applies to you. He's an adult and free to make his own mind up where he lives.

Bunny44 · 19/09/2026 09:03

Gassylady · 18/09/2026 08:47

Agree this hinges on how much he is earning a month. It does seem a bit rich of your sister you accuse you of trying to make money off him. £800 seems like a lot but if he is earning £5000 it would be reasonable 🤷‍♀️

He'd have to be earning around £100k net to clear £5000 so highly doubtful...

OneLilacHedgehog · 19/09/2026 09:05

Rubbish. Take home from £100k is £68k.

LasagneGoblin · 19/09/2026 09:10

Let him move in, your sister is trying to make money off her own child which is absolutely vile.

Doone22 · 19/09/2026 09:16

blackhorsesxx · 18/09/2026 09:04

Your sister is being ridiculous

Exactly. Why ruin your relationship with your nephew just to keep your sister happy. If she can't justify such a high rent he is free to go elsewhere. Everyone saying stay out of it is mental. Why stay on side with your horrible sister?

Fleetingmoment · 19/09/2026 09:19

OneLilacHedgehog · 19/09/2026 09:05

Rubbish. Take home from £100k is £68k.

Your point…?

nomas · 19/09/2026 09:21

Cherrysoup · 18/09/2026 09:09

Don’t let him move in if you want a relationship with your ds. £800 is an awful lot to charge her own son, but maybe she is, as pp suggest, trying to force him out. Some parents might just want their house back!

This doesn’t make any sense. His mum wants to force him out of her house and therefore objects to him moving in with his aunt?

OP, at some point adult nieces and nephews develop their own relationships with aunts and uncles. They are no longer an extension of their parents.

You are doing the right thing taking nephew in.

My mum charged me £250pm, it allowed me to save a house deposit.

Original poster

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:46

Our nephew stayed here last night and is moving in with us properly today. I tried to talk to my sister yesterday but she didn’t want to discuss it, then when my nephew got home from work yesterday, she said he could pay £750 per month but he no. She told him if he is leaving then she wants him out by the end of the weekend and she wants everything gone. He came with a car full of stuff last night and my husband is going to help him to get the rest this morning as she wants him to take everything. I think she is doing it all wrong but I’m staying quiet as it’s his mum. I feel so sad for him, this isn’t right.

OP posts:

JustSayyNo · 19/09/2026 09:49

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:46

Our nephew stayed here last night and is moving in with us properly today. I tried to talk to my sister yesterday but she didn’t want to discuss it, then when my nephew got home from work yesterday, she said he could pay £750 per month but he no. She told him if he is leaving then she wants him out by the end of the weekend and she wants everything gone. He came with a car full of stuff last night and my husband is going to help him to get the rest this morning as she wants him to take everything. I think she is doing it all wrong but I’m staying quiet as it’s his mum. I feel so sad for him, this isn’t right.

It sounds like there's more going on here than just a rent increase. This isn't a normal way for a parent to respond to their child moving out. Your nephew won't tell you if there's anything he doesn't want you to know about his contribution to anything situation. Hopefully you won't find out the hard way that there's a reason his mother has tightened things up at home.

nomas · 19/09/2026 09:54

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:46

Our nephew stayed here last night and is moving in with us properly today. I tried to talk to my sister yesterday but she didn’t want to discuss it, then when my nephew got home from work yesterday, she said he could pay £750 per month but he no. She told him if he is leaving then she wants him out by the end of the weekend and she wants everything gone. He came with a car full of stuff last night and my husband is going to help him to get the rest this morning as she wants him to take everything. I think she is doing it all wrong but I’m staying quiet as it’s his mum. I feel so sad for him, this isn’t right.

It sounds like your sister was planning using that money for something each month and now can’t row back from her unrealistic expectations.

Does she have a partner? I wonder if there is some financial spousification going on.

Original poster

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:56

JustSayyNo · 19/09/2026 09:49

It sounds like there's more going on here than just a rent increase. This isn't a normal way for a parent to respond to their child moving out. Your nephew won't tell you if there's anything he doesn't want you to know about his contribution to anything situation. Hopefully you won't find out the hard way that there's a reason his mother has tightened things up at home.

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You sound like you want that to be the case. I believe what my nephew has told me and my sister has had the opportunity to tell me if his account isn’t accurate. From what she has said over the last few weeks when all of this has been happening, her story matches what he has said. She was quite nasty to me yesterday so I’m sure she’d have said anything bad if there was anything to tell.

My nephew already spends time at our house as he and my children are friends as well as cousins and have a number of friends in common. I know him well and my children would also tell me if they had seen any behaviours from him that concerned them. They haven’t.

As much as you and some posters seem to want there to be some big secret, sometimes parents behave badly. My own parents did.

OP posts:

FannybygaslightinGovan · 19/09/2026 10:00

Well done OP. I would do exactly the same in your position and I'm sure your lovely nephew will be very grateful ❤️

wheresthesnowgone · 19/09/2026 10:02

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:56

You sound like you want that to be the case. I believe what my nephew has told me and my sister has had the opportunity to tell me if his account isn’t accurate. From what she has said over the last few weeks when all of this has been happening, her story matches what he has said. She was quite nasty to me yesterday so I’m sure she’d have said anything bad if there was anything to tell.

My nephew already spends time at our house as he and my children are friends as well as cousins and have a number of friends in common. I know him well and my children would also tell me if they had seen any behaviours from him that concerned them. They haven’t.

As much as you and some posters seem to want there to be some big secret, sometimes parents behave badly. My own parents did.

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Well done for being there for your nephew and not capitulating to your sister.

everyoldsock · 19/09/2026 10:10

Your sister really is a piece of work to be tearing her son like something she stepped in. I hope everything works out.

VioletsTale · 19/09/2026 10:11

JustSayyNo · 19/09/2026 09:49

It sounds like there's more going on here than just a rent increase. This isn't a normal way for a parent to respond to their child moving out. Your nephew won't tell you if there's anything he doesn't want you to know about his contribution to anything situation. Hopefully you won't find out the hard way that there's a reason his mother has tightened things up at home.

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Some parents aren’t normal parents. Surely you know that.

HareBrewery · 19/09/2026 10:14

YearsOfLife · 19/09/2026 09:56

You sound like you want that to be the case. I believe what my nephew has told me and my sister has had the opportunity to tell me if his account isn’t accurate. From what she has said over the last few weeks when all of this has been happening, her story matches what he has said. She was quite nasty to me yesterday so I’m sure she’d have said anything bad if there was anything to tell.

My nephew already spends time at our house as he and my children are friends as well as cousins and have a number of friends in common. I know him well and my children would also tell me if they had seen any behaviours from him that concerned them. They haven’t.

As much as you and some posters seem to want there to be some big secret, sometimes parents behave badly. My own parents did.

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I agree with you, sometimes parents can just behave like arseholes. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

I suspect it touches a nerve with some posters though because it's a bit too close to home.

He's very lucky to have you as his Aunt and I suspect he'll be very happy at your house.

hattie43 · 19/09/2026 10:15

Well done OP thank goodness your nephew has you .